how to handle requests about cat visiting times?!

[GreenLoafers]

For the last six years, whenever my friend has gone away I've looked in on her cats. It means popping in twice a day to put food down, refresh their water bowls and empty the litter trays.

It started off as a group effort with multiple friends sharing the task but everyone else has dropped off for various reasons so now its just me.

I don't mind too much.

My morning visits tend to happen anywhere between 6am and 9am depending on what else is going on in my life.
Yesterday, I went in at 6:15am. Today I went in at 8:50am.

When I text my friend an update today she was very grateful but asked whether I could please try and visit the cats at the same time each day. She was very polite about it.

To me it doesn't seem like it matters - when I go in earlier, the cats don't move off the bed so I assume they just amble down to get their food when they're ready.

I'm not sure how to handle this. In some ways I'm pretty pissed off about it and want to tell her to shove the cat visiting up her arse. But, in another way, she's very polite about it and I don't want to risk losing a friend.

Sorry - this is a bit garbled.

I do this as my job. It's £20 per visit. 2 visits per day for a weeks holiday would be £280. If your visits are not up to her standards she could pay a cat sitter. That'll be an additional almost 300 quid on top of her holiday costs. I'd remind her you're doing her a favour. It needs to work for you around your working hours, other commitments. Between 6 and 9am is perfectly fine for breakfast.

She replied with a "No worries" after I sent my evening update yesterday 🙃

They're house cats.

A 'thanks again, I really do appreciate your help' might have been a nice reply🙄

She's very rude.
But if you are ok with being used like that, crack on.
Remember, we teach people how to treat us.

I think I'd be saying "no" to her next cat sitting request. If the friendship falters as a result it wasn't a real friendship anyway. Others have dropped off this apparent rota and you can too.

That's an abrupt reply. I personally wouldn't look after her cats in the future. You don't need to say why. Just say 'sorry I can't'. If she asks why just say 'it's not something I want to do anymore'

Okay, "no worries" suggests that she sees your last message as an excuse and is graciously accepting your apology. I'm repeating my post that I wrote yesterday in case you didn't see it then, as I think it is needed:

I would suggest that you take charge when you reply. Not "if you prefer", but you dictating how things will be.
For example: "Unfortunately no, I'm not able to do that. I understand that you need a professional to take over looking after them next time you are away. I hope you're enjoying your holiday, see you when you're back."

No worries?

Silly woman really has no idea she's just cut off her access to future free catsitting. You'd think she'd be a bit more alive to the risk given that the other free catsitters have got fed up with her ingratitide and freeloading dropped out.

I'm sorry, I wasn't clear at all.

I sent an update on the cats yesterday evening.
She messaged back to say "Thanks so much for doing them [and then some other non-relevant stuff]

Then she replied to the message I'd sent earlier about not going in at a specific time. I mean replied like where the message is pasted in your new message on WhatsApp. It was this message that said "No worries".

I'll definitely be much less available in future I think.

"Okay, "no worries" suggests that she sees your last message as an excuse and is graciously accepting your apology"

I was very careful not to apologise.

I did see your message, thank you!

Of course she did.

She knows she's ono a good thing!

This is the polite version, personally I’d be tempted to tell her to shove it up her arse as you initially suggested.

Cheeky n entitled . How much is she paying you I bet it’s nothing. I’d say I go when my schedule allows . My daughter’s cats get fed once a day in the evening when she goes away . We feed they eat and then we leave two huge bowls of biscuits down for the next day. She’s dead grateful for this .

Next time she’s asks say no sorry

Jeezo. I think she has forgotten you are doing her a huge favour. That’s a massive time commitment.

years ago a friend of mine asked me to look after her cat for 2 weeks. I was living in a shared noisy flat. She asked me if I’d move into her much nicer 2 bed home and look after the cat. I arrived to a fridge with plenty food in it and a couple of bottles of wine and a freezer full of nice stuff and a fruit bowl with fruit in it. And a note saying help yourself to any food/drink you fancy. And from what a remember she made up a wee basket of toiletries in the bathroom for me - things like face wipes and said help yourself to my shower gel, shampoo etc. I was studying as well as working so it was lovely to get some peace and quiet to study and to play houses! When she came home she brought me a lovely bottle of booze and had me round for dinner and was hugely appreciative. She didn’t seem to get that getting 2 weeks living alone was a holiday for me too……. That’s how you treat a cat sitter.

My son feeds his cats kibble from an automated, timed machine. It works really well and plays a taped message just before the food drops down.

This is purrrr-fect 😂
Seriously, @GreenLoafers don't overthink it.
She can take your (very kind) help or leave it if it doesn't meet her needs.

Can you tell us what the message says?
Is it simply "Din dins in five mins" or something more classy like "Good evening, puss-cats, and wishing you a very bon appétit "?
Or does it say grâce?

He varies it - sometimes it's music but usually a message from the children! They know before it goes off even though it doesn't seem to make a noise first, rather like waking up just before your alarm clock goes off...

No good deed goes unpunished....

I'd be so pissed off tbh, but that would simply be the last time I was available to catsit.

She's taking you for granted.

As a triple cat owner.. she is NOT being reasonable. Cats don't have a wristwatch.
You are a great friend, and her cats are being daily fed, watered & abluted (litter trays🤣).
Dont be pressurised into fitting around HER agenda

You can't complain about a voluntary service!

I pay £15-£20 a day for this (4 pets).