how to handle requests about cat visiting times?!

[GreenLoafers]

For the last six years, whenever my friend has gone away I've looked in on her cats. It means popping in twice a day to put food down, refresh their water bowls and empty the litter trays.

It started off as a group effort with multiple friends sharing the task but everyone else has dropped off for various reasons so now its just me.

I don't mind too much.

My morning visits tend to happen anywhere between 6am and 9am depending on what else is going on in my life.
Yesterday, I went in at 6:15am. Today I went in at 8:50am.

When I text my friend an update today she was very grateful but asked whether I could please try and visit the cats at the same time each day. She was very polite about it.

To me it doesn't seem like it matters - when I go in earlier, the cats don't move off the bed so I assume they just amble down to get their food when they're ready.

I'm not sure how to handle this. In some ways I'm pretty pissed off about it and want to tell her to shove the cat visiting up her arse. But, in another way, she's very polite about it and I don't want to risk losing a friend.

Sorry - this is a bit garbled.

Just be very polite back and say no, sorry no can do as I have my life and my life comes first. Maybe she doesn't like you texting too early so maybe text updates at the same time.

This.

Definitely!

What an entitled person. If you have pets, you have to suffer some restriction on your freedom - not make other people sacrifice their time and freedom for you.

Be firm, OP. Just say this is the last time you feel able to help - you've done your bit, but it's too much of a commitment.

If there was ever proof needed of the adage "Dogs have owners, Cats have staff" this thread is it !! 😃

She might be worried about wet food sitting out for hours in hot weather but presumably you would see if that was happening and food was being wasted? I think you can echo her 'polite' tone and explain that feeding her cats has to fit around your other commitments.

I cat sit but not at an exact specific time.
Your friend is completely taking advantage of you , i bet i'm right in saying that during her holiday you are clock watching and your time is not your own due to fitting yourself around her cats.
She brings you a gift now and then 🙄, she's a stereotypical cheeky f....
Don't put yourself out by committing to her unreasonable request and maybe even think about telling her you will charge in future , you are saving her a lot of money !!!!!!
She's not much of a friend !!

Thanks for all your comments.

I replied and just said:
I go in to [cats names] at roughly similar times each day but can't be any more precise, esp. in the mornings.

Let's wait on the reply.

When I go on holiday my mum and my neighbour feed my 2 cats. And as long as their water in particular is checked twice a day, it doesnt matter when. Their routine is already messed up because im not there. And my loved ones doing this favour keeps them from going to a cattery where 1 of them in particular would be frantic.

And im grateful. If I wanted more strict care, id pay for it.

If I were you Id say "Im sorry but I agreed to this as a favour but I can only do it around my own responsibilities. If that doesnt work for you, youll need to make other arrangements as i wont be able to commit to a stricter timetable"

I had this with 2 friends. The first one wanted me to do the PM feed at 9pm. That doesn't work for me at all, I'm in my jammies by then unwinding! With the other one, if I didn't see both cats in the house at 6pm, she would ask me to go back at 10pm and look for them. No! I don't do either anymore.

When I go away for the weekend DS comes in once a day, feeds them and sets their timers for the second feed. changes any litter trays if needed. When I go away for longer i pay for the cattery so I don't inconvenience anyone.

She's a CF.

As long as you visit twice a day that’s fine. You should be being paid that’s not fine.

also How long is she away for? If she honestly cares that much she’s either not go away or go on short visits.

I have rescue cats I’ve not even left them overnight yet and when I will have to for a special occasion next year I’m preparing them for a year first plus the person cat sitting is a member of my household. Also only going away for 4 nights not a week.

This time she's away for four days.

Could she get an automated feeder then so the kibble goes down at set times and then the wet food and litter tray emptying can be done at times to suit you? We got an automated feeder for our cat when we go away in case my elderly DM doesn’t feel obligated to do it if she isn’t up to feeding him. She pops in once a day to do wet food (and he visits her for company). No need to empty the litter box as we have a cat flap so he never uses it.

I'd be telling her to find someone else to be honest, you're already going out of your way to check on her cats so she has to understand you working it around your usual plans, If she wants someone there with the cats at a set time she should hire someone that can do that and not expect her friend to do it for free.

I have a friend who pops in once a day for my cat, the only thing I say to her is thank you.

Does she pay you for your time? Give you a gift or bottle of wine?

Your friend is a CF.

Tell her to fuck off and book a cattery

Id be telling her to find someone else. As if she can't appreciate that you are saving her a fortune, then she can find someone and pay them accordingly to come at her timings.

I have 3 cats, when I go away 2 sets of neighbours coordinate to look after them for me. They are 2 couples so between the 4 of them, I ask that the cats get fed sometime between 8am and noon and their night feed is sometime between 8pm and midnight. One couple lives 4 doors away, the other couple lives 6 doors away. So a 4 hour window of time.

I pre-portion all food before I go and mark who is getting what. So they only have to empty into the dishes, refill water bowl and check if tray has been used and scoop it. I'll have changed the tray fully before I go.

I bring back chocolates for them and in return when they go away, I'll look after their pets (1 cat for 1st couple and 3 cats and a dog for 2nd couple) and houses.

Maybe she’s thinking about them being hungry? Like if you feed them at 7pm and not again till 9am instead of 6am, they might be hungry, whereas if you always stuck to the same times there would be regular intervals between feedings?

Regardless, it’s not really your problem and it’s totally reasonable that you go in whenever suits you and tell her you can’t commit to set times if that’s the case

this is what I would say too. I would definitely point out i was doing them a favour. People are so cheeky!

We have a neighbour who tortoise sits for us when we go away. The only thing we have to say to her about this arrangement, is THANK YOU! And we bring her back multiple presents or buy her a REALLY good bottle of wine/voucher etc. This not-close-friend of yours does not appreciate you. 'Sorry, I've planned a break myself' would be the line I'd use next time she asks.

As a cat servant mine don’t get fed at the same time each day. Depends if it’s a work day, or I have early or later meetings, or if I’m away DH works from the office so is out of the house earlier and returning later. There is always access to dry food, water and a litter tray plus cat flap anyway. My cat sitter has a two hour window too. My cats have medication but a couple of hours doesn’t make that much difference.

If she’s bothered about them being fed at the same time every day she should get an auto feeder for them that she can program to times that she wants. That way you only have to go in and check they’re okay & change their litter.

Im cat sitting for a friend soon and thats what shes got for her 2.

You’re doing her a favour so she needs to be more grateful of the help and respectful of your time you’re giving up to help her.

@GreenLoafersany reply?

I have cats who have a normal routine (they know they get fed every morning and evening. But it's not 7am and 7pm on the dot, just between 7-9am and normally 6-9pm.) I have a friend who looks after my cats when im away*. I would never dream of setting a specific time for them to feed them - they're doing me a favor!
It sounds like your friend is very anxious about leaving them (which I can sympathise with) but if you're that anxious then you either- put them in a cattery, get a house sitter, pay a cat sitter to come in at exact times or don't go away.
*Never more than a night or two as I don't want it being an onerous task for them. Also, I feel anxious about the cats coming and going without anyone clocking them, so I pay for a cattery if it's longer.

Are they house cats? If not have the come to fetch you yet?

My fabulous teen neighbour feeds my boys for me regularly and one of my cats decides on some weekend days he may be a little too late (I'm not precious when they get fed, they don't guzzle food so there's always some down), and goes and sits on his door step yelling at him until he suitably comes round and tops up the -still half full- bowl! He has also been known to pop in and say hello to the whole family whilst waiting for said teen to emerge! Luckily they all love him and make a fuss and encourage him round.
other boy behaves like the regal prince he believes he is and waits until underling cat has retrieved neighbour and then gets in first dibs of the food top up put down.