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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed about DP saying my brother has ruined our holiday?

310 replies

Lisatron · 01/06/2026 20:42

I'm currently away in Spain with DP, DD4, DS1 and my brother (22), I'm quite close to my brother and he comes over often when we're at home.

In the past he has struggled mentally, he's also T1 diabetic and while as a teen he ate alot of sugary things and didn't do his insulin and as a result he was very unwell. He's also got a habit of drinking too much which he can't do and he was once left by his ‘ friends’ when he had q hypo so I do worry about him lot, even though it's well managed he can make silly decisions especially when struggling.

Our mum mentioned to me before we left that he had been acting off again but he was saying he was “fine”, I hadn't noticed anything but I obviously kept it in mind.

We got here Saturday and it was already off to a bad start due to our flight being delayed, yesterday was good until last night when brother disappeared without saying where he was going. It turns out he was in a bar drinking on his own.

Long story short, he had a hypo and was argumentative when I was trying to help him, DP had our children with him and I was with my brother, he was eventually fine but I stayed with him in his room to keep an eye on him. He's spent the day in his room sleeping off his hangover

Dp wasn't pleased about me staying in his hotel room as the baby kept waking and he said “so much for a relaxing holidays” (as if we could get one with kids anyway) and was annoyed that he hasn't joined us so far after we paid for the holiday and has said it's like having another kid but instead we have a manchild acting like a moody teenager so tonight we've argued because he's annoyed that I'm obviously worried about my brother
he's now stormed out too after saying he's ruined the holiday

AIBU here or is he?

OP posts:
Livpool · 04/06/2026 18:31

YABU - why are you putting your brother over your DP and children?!

August1980 · 04/06/2026 21:36

I might be in the minority here but you are all family. Can’t see why your husband can’t look after your children whilst you look after your brother? How would he feel if something did happen to your brother? I am sure you would be supportive of the shoe was on the other foot?
hopefully your holiday isn’t ruin if you have more days to make up for just one bad day! And I fully agree with you - little ones on holiday are hardly relaxing. My husband goes out of his way to plan and find lovely holidays for us but sometimes I wonder if we are just better of at home! Where no one can see the weaning baby throwing her food on the floor, or the young toddler who can’t sit still for even half a second!

PinkEasterbunny · 05/06/2026 11:55

I might be in the minority here but you are all family. Can’t see why your husband can’t look after your children whilst you look after your brother?

@August1980 they are supposed to be on holiday! I've no idea why the brother needs to be on this holiday, but if he wasn't there, none of this would have happened.

Theunamedcat · 05/06/2026 18:51

PinkEasterbunny · 05/06/2026 11:55

I might be in the minority here but you are all family. Can’t see why your husband can’t look after your children whilst you look after your brother?

@August1980 they are supposed to be on holiday! I've no idea why the brother needs to be on this holiday, but if he wasn't there, none of this would have happened.

Why does that mean he cant look after his own children? He had no issues leaving them with her after all

Theunamedcat · 05/06/2026 18:52

Livpool · 04/06/2026 18:31

YABU - why are you putting your brother over your DP and children?!

Again he massively fucked up and it could kill him or at least make him seriously ill all the children did was cry it wont hurt them

columnatedruinsdomino · 05/06/2026 19:35

If your dh is pissed off because it’s not turning into the intended family friendly holiday then fair enough but if it’s because he has to parent his own children (and can’t rely on the extra babysitter) he needs to grow up.

Scout2016 · 05/06/2026 19:51

Was your partner expecting you to do all the night wakes? If so he is unreasonable about that.

Does your brother know there's an expectation he will babysit in exchangefor the holiday?

Otherwise yeah he was a dick doing a disaapearing act and getting drunk and ill on a family holiday. If there were some way he could have just done it privately I wouldn't think a 22 year old wanting some time to themself away from family and young kids was too bad in itself. Like if he just went to his own hotel room after. But if he's come back to shared accommodation drunk and acting up with the kids around that's not good.

chaosmaker · 08/06/2026 07:21

There is a reason that the government announced that the NHS will do more in supporting diabetics as the link between that and depression is well known.
As I said earlier in the thread it's a chronic illness. Just because some people manage it all the time doesn't mean everyone does.
Also the husband wanted him along. Free holiday for free childcare.
Diabetes.co.uk is a great site for support from others with the same conditions. Also their wins and struggles.
Hope the rest of the holiday is/was good.

Livpool · 09/06/2026 15:12

Theunamedcat · 05/06/2026 18:52

Again he massively fucked up and it could kill him or at least make him seriously ill all the children did was cry it wont hurt them

He is still an adult though - and it is affecting OP and her partner’s holiday

Theunamedcat · 09/06/2026 16:13

Livpool · 09/06/2026 15:12

He is still an adult though - and it is affecting OP and her partner’s holiday

One night, the husband chose to continue it the following day the situation needed a conversation and a discussion it didn't need him throwing his toys and storming off I should imagine OP didn't have the best night's sleep either and was then handed her children to deal with alone its all very immature

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