AIBU to stop dad & MIL contact immediately?

[ellie09]

Hi all

My 9 yr old son came home the other day to tell me his dad smokes "drugs in a pipe" everyday (its weed) and that his granny pinches him when he is bad.

To me, his dad smoking weed in bong is a risk. As is his mum, pinching my son when he is "misbehaving".

They are both kicking off.

I have reported to SC.

AIBU?

I would find that totally unacceptable too, but not sure if social services will see it as a hard line. Do you have a child arrangement order that requires him to see his dad?

Is it court ordered? If so you need to continue until you can get a new court order.

Pinching a child for misbehaving sounds barbaric and only the type of thing I've heard of in the horrible child abuse cases where children are subjected to all sorts of dreadful physical ordeals.
Surely Social services would take this seriously?

Social services views on this aren't really relevant. You get to decide if yoy send the child for contact or not. Social services probably won't do an assessment if you decide to stop sending him but it may be helpful to have a record of reporting it now for the future but remember it's your parenting choice not up to social services to decide or enforce.

What are they 'kicking off" about?

If dad has parental responsibility it's not necessarily just her choice to make. Referral to SC is important as a court is going to have quite a high threshold to stop contact with a parent.
You could offer supervised contact in a contact centre if they are willing to pay.

Another point to consider is he driving under the influence of weed ? I work in mental health and have seen first hand the impact on mental health of weed use and it’s not to underestimated

I’d assume they believe their behaviour to be normal, and acceptable.

If it’s court ordered you need to obtain an emergency order and have a child welfare report done. Otherwise, stop contact and go to the courts yourself to safeguard your child.

Did F smoke weed when you were together?

I think you are doing the right thing. It’s likely they will get visitation rights back but hopefully social services/ courts being involved will give them a kick up the bum to behave better. And in a few years your ds will be of an age he can have a view. Most importantly you are teaching your son these behaviours are unacceptable