MIL let DD aged 5 get sunburned but DH thinks we should just be grateful she had her and gave her a nice time.

[Sophiehoney]

I AM grateful MIL had her and she had a nice time.

HOWEVER, she's been at MIL's all day, playing in the paddling pool with her cousins and she's come home with sunburn all over her shoulders, neck, top of her legs, and all down her back and is in pain.

I put suncream on her before she went there, and when we dropped her off, I told MIL there was a bottle in her bag and MIL said don't worry, I've got loads here.

But she obviously hasn't topped it back up and DD is burnt.

All I want to do is WhatsApp her a picture and say thank you so much, she had a great time but a reminder that she must wear suncream when she's out in the sun and in a swimming costume.

DH says no, it will just make her feel bad and make us seem ungrateful and what's done is done now, we'll make sure we remind her more frequently next time.

I think a picture now will have more of an effect and she will remember next time because she obviously didn't listen to my reminder this time.

For a minute I thought you had a home remedy for sunburns…with wet lettuce :)

This ^
It would be your chance to open conversation and ask if MIL topped up suncream during the day. If she said it couldn’t be so bad/ it would pass / it happened etc etc - I would answer: actually it’s bad and would send her photos.
Your DH is right about not sending photos first but he is completely wrong about not discussing it. His logic about not upsetting his mum even if her actions harm DD is wrong in principle.
Apply the test : Would you tell your mum about it?
If you would - of course you should tell MIL as well.

It's a good lesson for your daughter to learn.
This happened to all of us as kids.

She said she might be sickly later. And I pointed out after I burned I was not sickly. More freckles admittedly ( I was ginger and freckled as a kid)

Send the photo. Mil is irresponsible

I think you should take the photos. You really must have a chat with MIL, and you can show her the pictures if it's appropriate. Sunburn is dangerous and damages the skin permanently. To be honest though, even with suncream applied regularly she could still have got some sunburn if she's been out in the garden all day today. That's perhaps another thing that you could incorporate in the discussion.

... Mad dogs + Englishmen. 😎

We got caught out with my youngest Dd (8 years) on Saturday. We only went round to my Dm in the afternoon (youngest Dd had her ballet lesson in the morning). Dd had put on her sunscreen herself which she often does sometimes for school. In hindsight this was a mistake. Her swim shorts has become too small for her, so she was wearing a swimsuit with her rashie over the top. We put the paddling pool in the shade where she spent most of the afternoon. She did take her rashie off at some point. It wasn't for long though and as I said she spent most of the time in the shade. She obviously hadn't done her shoulder properly though as she ended up burned across them. We've always been really careful with the kids when it comes to suncream. I feel really guilty for slipping up.

Anyway, my point is mistakes can happen. You can't know for sure the suncream wasn't reapplied. If it was put on and she went straight into the paddling pool it could have washed off. I'm also not sure if you explicitly said to your MIL it needs reapplying or just that she had some in her bag? Grandparents are from a different era. Growing up in the 80s and 90s I never wore suncream in the UK. It was only worn for holidays abroad. It may not have even occurred to your MIL to reapply it.

I would be careful not to cause a big argument over it. I would mention it in a tactful way. Really sorry your little one got burnt though. X

Id def mention it next time your speaking to MIL. Just say your DD had a fab time with her but was uncomfortable with sunburn later that day as you think her sun cream was washed off in the padding pool. Buy a bottle of P20 that you put on an hour before going in the sun & it stays on all day, even in water. I used this on my kids & still topped up with factor 50 just to be on the safe side & they never once burnt.

Whats a rash vest sorry

A UV rated shirt. Usually SPF50+

Whats a rash vest sorry ty for answer

@lostfather666 It's a long sleeve swim top with UV protection. Originally used by surfers, but often now used by kids to protect them from the sun. Like this:
https://www.mountainwarehouse.com/p/021513/mw/kids-long-sleeved-rash-vest/Light%20Purple/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=MW_UK_GGL_PMAX_GENERIC_HIGH+SCORE&utm_term=&utm_content=|pcrid||pkw||pmt||pdv|m|slid||product|021513158005|grp||tid||cmp|20642088702|&searchintent=&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=20651586409&gbraid=0AAAAADoKbU9tbRcS0TlHIjjstsJxln3IH&gclid=CjwKCAjwidXQBhAZEiwA4egw6LfhMf_5998unUqlZqQxtcSAgTLIr8YM39OHetYS2ZaIAgn15Lva1xoCfUIQAvD_BwE

Whats a rash vest sorry ty for answer ty

Goodness me op, its sunburn. We have all been there and done it. Im sure it wasnt done on purpose. Let it go

Deleted my answer as I first thought you were having a go at the op!

I gave the info about a rash vest to a new mom ty its why I asked

The subsequent post stated that they were going for a walk them mil changed the plan which is why she didn't have her swimsuit so again why is it up to OP to provide a rash vest for a walk in the woods

Do you have a suggestion about how better to go about it?

I get that. But we’re in 2026, and she was asked to put it on.