MIL let DD aged 5 get sunburned but DH thinks we should just be grateful she had her and gave her a nice time.

[Sophiehoney]

I AM grateful MIL had her and she had a nice time.

HOWEVER, she's been at MIL's all day, playing in the paddling pool with her cousins and she's come home with sunburn all over her shoulders, neck, top of her legs, and all down her back and is in pain.

I put suncream on her before she went there, and when we dropped her off, I told MIL there was a bottle in her bag and MIL said don't worry, I've got loads here.

But she obviously hasn't topped it back up and DD is burnt.

All I want to do is WhatsApp her a picture and say thank you so much, she had a great time but a reminder that she must wear suncream when she's out in the sun and in a swimming costume.

DH says no, it will just make her feel bad and make us seem ungrateful and what's done is done now, we'll make sure we remind her more frequently next time.

I think a picture now will have more of an effect and she will remember next time because she obviously didn't listen to my reminder this time.

Mainly from foreign holidays.

Skin cancers among people who have never been abroad are significantly less

The risk from a one off like this is slight but MiL should still be gently spoken to.

A single case of bad sunburn in childhood doubles the lifetime risk of skin cancer.

Skin cancer rates are higher than they have ever been attributed to those (primarily women) over 55 high UV exposure when they were younger.

I’d definitely send the photo if MIL will look after her again, despite how uncomfortable it will make it. She needs to know and have her own strong reason not to let DD go without sunscreen again. I think you owe that to your daughter despite the awkwardness it will cause.

I find relatives looking after kids can sometimes dismiss your worries as you being OTT or precious, and then will say yes to following your rules but decide not to in the moment for “reasons” (they think their own reasoning and judgement should override yours).

Give her her own reasons to properly apply sunscreen in future along with instructions of how often to apply it.

Crikey! It was 30 degrees here today (yes, in the UK) and absolutely hot enough to burn. Hasn't the heatwave been all over the news? We are expecting 33 degrees next week and will be absolutely slathering the suncream on. Plus rash vests. Obviously the plans for OP changed but the MIL should absolutely have thought about the sun, even if it had been slightly cooler a 5 year old will burn very fast without protection.

OP I would definitely send a text (ideally DH would do) so it doesn't happen again. I'd be absolutely furious if this was my daughter!

Definitely send her a photo. That way she can't think you're being dramatic or over the top - she can actually see how bad it is.
It's not being rude or ungrateful, you reminded her and she's still Beth burnt, so she needs to see it so she learns from it.

This is unacceptable, could of been so much worse :(

I wouldn’t mention it right now but would tell her if she goes there again.

We’ve all been sunburnt multiple times and been exposed to multiple carcinogens. It’s not possible to avoid these completely.

It’s likely she did reapply the sun cream but when you’re in and out of the paddling pools it’s bound to wash off.

I would be cross too as the OP did remind her Mil to reapply it.

Is she just a bit pink or very burnt and sore?

Will hurting his mums feelings cure the sub=n burn?? I never realised!

No but it might make her use her brain in future and stop her letting her grandchildren get burnt again.

Nope. Prostate, breast, lung then bowel. No sunburn isn’t good but neither is scaremongering.

I mean - in my family we would say something. people really can't speak straight from what I read on mumsnet.

If my child came home burnt from anywhere I would mention but particularly family as they are going to be in the same situation again!

Doesn’t matter that it’s May, it’s the UV
I am a redhead and have burned within 10-15 mins in the U.K. without SPF on

I agree the swimsuits are so much easier than constant applications when they're in water

Team rash vest - sun screen washes off even when it says waterproof and it means while in the water they are unprotected even if you reapply. She’d have been better off letting her go in in a t-shirt and shorts/leggings rather than knickers. I would maybe ask if you can keep a spare uv suit at her house because she got burnt the last time so you think the sunscreen must have washed off.

🙄

Good to see a sensible post so early on in this type of thread!

If your in UK i swear by boots soltan for kids swim up to 3 hours water play. I still use it for holidays and kids are now 16 and 19. Lasts 8 hours out of water and 3chours in. Meaning I can put it on first thing and be out all day, then if in afternoon going in water apply 15 mins before and should still be good.

It really is the most common form of cancer in the UK, so keep on with your scaremongering 🤷‍♀️then check your facts

No dont send that message it will end badly, wait till you see her next time.

This is perfect.

I do think you need to say something but without sending the picture that way.
I think I'd say DD has got some sunburn, so it looks like she'll need more regular applications of sunscreen in future. Show photo if she's dismissive in any way.
If nothing is said it will likely happen again.

I don't know why people are banging on about how HOT it was. It is UV that damages your skin, not heat. You can burn in 12C in the sun in April.

@BeOchreDog A single case of bad sunburn in childhood doubles the lifetime risk of skin cancer.

That's a doubled risk over the baseline.

The baseline risk for someone who has never had sunburn (if such a person even exists) is unfathombly low.

Skin cancer rates are higher than they have ever been attributed to those (primarily women) over 55 high UV exposure when they were younger.

Those 55+ year olds are not people who got sun burnt once when they were a child.

Those are people who routinely get burnt every summer and who deliberately lie flat on the ground whenever it is sunny.

@Wynter25 I like to use a sunbed now and again.

Stop doing so.