MIL let DD aged 5 get sunburned but DH thinks we should just be grateful she had her and gave her a nice time.

[Sophiehoney]

I AM grateful MIL had her and she had a nice time.

HOWEVER, she's been at MIL's all day, playing in the paddling pool with her cousins and she's come home with sunburn all over her shoulders, neck, top of her legs, and all down her back and is in pain.

I put suncream on her before she went there, and when we dropped her off, I told MIL there was a bottle in her bag and MIL said don't worry, I've got loads here.

But she obviously hasn't topped it back up and DD is burnt.

All I want to do is WhatsApp her a picture and say thank you so much, she had a great time but a reminder that she must wear suncream when she's out in the sun and in a swimming costume.

DH says no, it will just make her feel bad and make us seem ungrateful and what's done is done now, we'll make sure we remind her more frequently next time.

I think a picture now will have more of an effect and she will remember next time because she obviously didn't listen to my reminder this time.

Don't be daft everyone just wants to be aggressive over messenger etc because they can.
Then they wonder why things go south.

Rash vest. Your dh needs to discuss with his dm about putting up a shade over the pool . Lesdons learned

@tiramisugelato I would be furious - there's no excuse these days. Your MIL has caused permanent damage to your DD's skin and increased her chances of getting skin cancer.

Risk is very low. We all got sun burned as children in the days before there we had the same awareness about sun protection. Don't you remember?

Second point is that countless people across the UK use sun beds, for reasons completely unknown to me. They shouldn't be doing it, but they do.

Well it depends really, doesn’t it. Do you want a good relationship with her or not? If you do then of course you shouldn’t send a photo. Next time MIL (very kindly - it’s not easy having small kids and especially a few of them) has her and it is sunny, you or your husband need to say, last time she got burnt so can you please apply this as X, Y, Z time. She also needs a rash vest, it’s a pain in the backside having to reapply. Leave one at MIL’s for next time,

Maybe remind her that they shouldn’t be out in full sun all day whatever she’s applied.

mil would not be looking after my child again.

Get her a UV suit. I always used them and it took away the stress.

I'd just ring her.
Ask which sun cream she used, yours or hers, as you want to make sure this doesn't happen again.
See what she says
Hers could be rubbish/old, or she simply didn't apply it often enough.

Also, unless she was in total sunblock, or covered with clothes and a hat, id be surprised if any ordinary sun cream held up to hours in the sun today.
Its crazy strong, and with no build up.
I expect the hours just flew by and she didnt realise just how hot/strong the sun was.

Do you have a good aftersun?

This really the sun in May is very strong and if she was just in her knickers it would have been difficult to protect her sufficiently.

I am sure MIL would be mortified that her grandchild got sunburnt. It most definitely wouldn’t have been on purpose, just a lapse of judgement regarding the sun cream. I wouldn’t send a pic, I’d ask DH to mention it to her in person next time he sees her.

YABU to think that any amount of suncream would prevent sunburn on a child out in the sun all day in this heat.
She should be wearing a t-shirt or something covering her shoulders unless there is shade over the pool, and not outside at all during the hottest part of the day.

Ouch!! I genuinely feel sorry for your DD. Prepare for her to be a bit sickly later today as there’s a chance she might have heatstroke………..and before anyone jumps on me for exaggerating, if the child’s skin is showing signs of sunburn then think what’s going on underneath. Was she wearing a sun hat all day OP?
I hope she feels better very soon.

The risk isn't actually low at all. There's a reason so many people in their 50's are having skin cancers removed.

I grew up in the nineties and my parents were very sun aware. I always wore Factor 50 and never got burned.

I'm not sure why the fact that some people use sunbeds is relevant, either?

This!

I think as you haven’t mentioned a fil, or blamed him at all, she must have been on her own - plus cousins plural, so at least 3 kids on her own - I think that’s quite a big task so I would prepare in advance for this next time - the all day sun cream applied everywhere before she goes, rash vest and cossie in her bag just in case, sun hat etc

I’d not do it’s this time no, I’m with your husband she clearly made a mistake it’s been very hot today and she may well have reapplied. I’d do as my husband says and just remind her next time, say she got a little burnt. She will be fine, unless you’re saying it’s really bad, the pain thing doesn’t really give a huge indication, your husbands reaction would say it’s not that bad

Yeah you already know, but couldn’t stop yourself

I always used a rash vest when mine were little, they are great. You can still get sunburned even with sunscreen on, especially across the shoulders. Missing bits is also an issue, and it's hard to realise until it's too late.
I remember getting burned on the top of my legs as a child because lying on my surfboard in the sea caused the sunscreen (which wasn't great then) to rub off.
You could mention to MIL that she is burnt, but there's no point accusing her now, just make better plans for next time.

I let my neice get burned nearly 25 years ago. I’m still consumed with guilt….

The water reflects it as well. I’d have hee in a rash vest.

For gods sake.

I also remember a time when I took my children and one friend out to an outdoor pool and was very careful about sunscreen for all of them. Except somehow the friend still got burned even with the sunscreen his mother provided and I put on. My children were fine.

I mean I’m an adult and I’ve burnt myself from not reapplying sun cream enough when in and out of water.

these days I weat a rash vest myself.

isn’t the guideline something like reapplysvery 30 mins if in water?

I’ve said YANBU because you didn’t know paddling pool was a plan.
If you had known I’m sure you wouldn’t have relied on sunscreen and instead would have sent long sleeved rash vest and hat.

I would be furious

Your DH needs to stop prioritising his mum's 'feelings' over your daughter's pain