To think DH should not have finished my dessert

[Mamma47448]

I bought a tiramisu from a supermarket yesterday. It was maybe 10 cm squared.

DH doesn’t usually buy desserts, he prefers to make them fresh. So I buy for myself and offer him some and sometimes he says yes. I think of them as mine though I’m usually happy to share. We don’t have a dessert every night.

I ate about 20% of it yesterday - it was delicious but it’s pretty rich and few spoonfuls are enough. I cut another 20% today after dinner for myself. I reminded DH we had tiramisu if he wanted some.

Baby was crying so I rushed through the tiramisu and went to settle them. I came back to find the rest of the tiramisu had gone! DH said I had eaten “half” (!) (Tbf he probably didn’t know I had some yesterday) so he had the other “half”. I’d been thinking I was going to save some for tomorrow. I’ve just looked at the box and it says it is 4 portions.

Is it fair to think of the desserts as mine? (DH is very generous with his baking but he’d definitely comment if I scoffed down most of his biscuits or whatever.)

Was it fair for DH to eat the rest of what I thought was my dessert?

Would it have been fair for me to have three portions (one yesterday, one today, one tomorrow) while DH has just one?

Semi-lighthearted. I’ll provide a bit more context later.

There is one person in my family who is renowned for being an absolute glutton and will finish off any food in sight with no regard for other people who might want some.

Think - there's 4 slices of bacon left, and they KNOW that someone else will want some for breakfast. They don't care, will eat all four slices, and are happy to leave everyone else with bread and butter for breakfast.

Or dinner is cooked with the intention of having leftovers for dinner the next, they know this. Leftovers in the fridge - next day, unless the leftovers are hidden they will be gone - said person will have taken them for lunch or something to save them having to make their own lunch.

It's very selfish behaviour - but actually in your tiramisu case, I can see why he ate the whole thing, so I would probably just tell him you were actually planning to save some, and next time this arises just be explicit. Don't eat it all, you can have 1/2 of what's left.

I googled 400g of tiramisu and a sainsburys one has come up & I think I agree OP half would be too rich for me but once upon a time I probs could have done half 🤣

this thread is crackers but you have made me laugh. Just communicate better, tell him he can have some but to leave you some for tomorrow or whatever you want to be left.

https://www.sainsburys.co.uk/gol-ui/product/sainsburys-pistachio-tiramisu-taste-the-difference-400g

It is indeed Sainsbury’s 😁

And he did want it, ALL of it 😋🤤🙈

I think, if you’d clearly had less than half (and no, for this purpose 40% isn’t as good as half, it would be clear it was less) it’s piggy for someone who was offered “some” to eat all that’s left. At most he should have taken what looked like half of the whole thing and waited on that last sliver until he’d checked you didn’t want it.

YABVU for making a Tiramisu last longer than 24 hours.

“I reminded DH we had tiramisu if he wanted some”.
Tells him to go ahead and have it, then gets annoyed when he does 🤷‍♀️ You were a bit ambiguous and he may have viewed this as oh it would be doing to waste anyway, so help yourself. If you knew you were going to want some still, I would have been clearer with him that he can have some if he wants some, but leave some for you. However, there is also context, if this is a similar pattern of happening all the time and you have said and he is just generally being inconsiderate then a bit different.

LT Tiramisu Eating B

YABU for posting about this.

This. On what planet is a 4" square pudding four portions?
You reminded him there was dessert, he ate it. I really can't see the problem.

Maybe it was the once opened east within 2 days. If you had some on one day, and then some the next, he might not have realised that you wanted to have more on day 3. My husband would eat the leftovers if he believed it would get thrown away otherwise. He'd be a bit upset if I then thought he was greedy and taking more than his fair share.

You could say ‘please don’t finish off anything without running it by me first, after the birthday cake incident, it triggers me’

He is selfish, so if you say this there can be no misunderstanding.

10cms is tiny though I agree 😁

This is an unbelievable thread. Mumsnet has sunk really low. We are debating portions of food that a husband and wife could or couldn’t share, are we in a third world country??? You sound really pathetic, sorry op. You have decided to share this on here? what are you expecting? Why are you shaming your partner for some cheap food? He eat the damn thing,,go and get some more tomorrow, simple. honestly ridiculous.

That's very greedy.
He shouldn't need to be told not to scoff the lot.

If I've learnt anything, it's how greedy most men are.

So very greedy. It's astonishing really.

They only think about satisfying their stomachs and their dicks.

Yare not unreasonable, but you need to learn some defence strategies!!

My DH will scoff any sweet treat left in the fridge after I go to bed. He stays up later & has zero self control around cakes & slices etc. doesn't matter the size, it'll be gone.

I put my portion in a container with my name on it. Or freeze what we're not eating it immediately. Or hide it in a coloured container as he doesn't look.

Well he did you a favour since he offers you home cooked dessert and that Sainsbury’s one was rated 3/5 and has a load of random stuff in it.

Get him to make you one and then get a big marker and write out legally approved portion sizes on it. 😬

INGREDIENTS: Water, Glucose Syrup, Skimmed Cows' Milk Powder, Coconut Oil, Savoiardi biscuits (9%) (Wheat Flour, Sugar, Pasteurised Free Range Egg, Raising Agents:Sodium Carbonates, Ammonium Carbonates) Glucose Syrup, Natural Flavourings, Salt), Sugar, Pasteurised Free Range Egg, Dried Glucose Syrup, Pistachio Paste (2.5%), Pistachio Sprinkle (2.0%), Alcohol, Mascarpone Cheese (Cows' Milk) (1.5%), Stabiliser:Carrageenan: Emulsifier:Mono- and Diglycerides of Fatty Acids: Natural Flavouring, Salt.

Was it very rich OP? 😎

Yes, we're on MN.

No one eats more than air and no alcohol is allowed.

Anything else is sheer greed.

I don't know how this is possible with the amount of WLI advocates we have on here but, alas, the mysteries of life.

Urgh I hate this. They always claim to not want sweet treats, then scoff the lot and don’t replace it.
Hideous.

We can be friends! Friend for coffee, catch up and dessert, This is not about food this is about the DH just not thinking of your feelings. IMO. I see myself here BTW. Although I do have issues around food for one reason or another. It’s just the fact his not asked/communicated or thought about anyone but himself. You have also mentioned the birthday so he has previous “convictions” with this behaviour. On the plus side you mentioned his generous with his baking. If I was you I’d comment he should try baking one next time to replace it.

O think you offered him tiramisu, you took him the tiramisu and given his history with the cake then if you'd wanted him to save you some you should've said, or even better served it up into a bowl....eating straight from the container is a bit grim if you are eating some and then saving some.

YABU for not hiding it if you wanted to eat it all. When I really want something for myself I hide it so that dh doesn't get temted. Tbf he always asks first (he knows me) but obv I can't say no to sharing.

Never have I seen so much repetition of the words ‘portion’ and ‘portion size’.

There’s something about them that’s so very quintessentially prissy.

You haven't met my MIL!! She drives me mad with her "portion" and "portion size" comments. She's as round as the earth but swears she only eats others dreams. Does my bloody nut in!

Bought desserts are tiny I'm not surprised he thought what was left was one portion. I've got those four portions tiramisu a couple of times. Me and two adult DC polish one off between us. But I would rather make a cheesecake or trifle.