To think DH should not have finished my dessert

[Mamma47448]

I bought a tiramisu from a supermarket yesterday. It was maybe 10 cm squared.

DH doesn’t usually buy desserts, he prefers to make them fresh. So I buy for myself and offer him some and sometimes he says yes. I think of them as mine though I’m usually happy to share. We don’t have a dessert every night.

I ate about 20% of it yesterday - it was delicious but it’s pretty rich and few spoonfuls are enough. I cut another 20% today after dinner for myself. I reminded DH we had tiramisu if he wanted some.

Baby was crying so I rushed through the tiramisu and went to settle them. I came back to find the rest of the tiramisu had gone! DH said I had eaten “half” (!) (Tbf he probably didn’t know I had some yesterday) so he had the other “half”. I’d been thinking I was going to save some for tomorrow. I’ve just looked at the box and it says it is 4 portions.

Is it fair to think of the desserts as mine? (DH is very generous with his baking but he’d definitely comment if I scoffed down most of his biscuits or whatever.)

Was it fair for DH to eat the rest of what I thought was my dessert?

Would it have been fair for me to have three portions (one yesterday, one today, one tomorrow) while DH has just one?

Semi-lighthearted. I’ll provide a bit more context later.

Sorry. You're mental. But if it's any help, I'm mental too because when I went to get my brown bread this morning for breakfast and realised DH finished it yesterday I felt the same. It's my bread that I like for breakfast and he has no business eating it without explicit permission and agreement about portion size. However instead of expressing my feelings I accepted that I'm mental.

I think it was the coming back downstairs to find it was all gone that was the annoying bit. If he’d asked if he could finish it off I would have raised an eyebrow at the portion size but I would have been fine with it.

Yes I agree I am a bit mental about some things like this! I suppose DH is not a mind reader and he doesn’t know which foods he should save the last bit for me!

You told him there was tiramsu he could have. So he had it. I can'tsee what he's done wrong.

Sorry but you told him there is desert if he wants. He didn't (probably) know you want to save some so why you didn't communicate? Why you told him to help himself if you didn't want him to help hinself? Tbh the portions they describe on packaging are ridiculous and don't reflect reality, who eats only 2,5 cm cake except a toddler? If he is baking and is generous with his baking, I would keep the nerves to myself. I can't see myself measuring with a ruller how much my husband ate, seriously.

10cm squared I'd probably eat to myself in one go 🤣🤣 It obviously looked like you had eaten half and saved him the other half. You are crazy 😉🤣

A portion is 2.5 cm x 2.5cm? 😳. Maybe a sign of the times, but that’s tiny. I hope it wasn’t too expensive! I’m sure he’s looked at it and thought it was one serving

Sorry I can’t believe you’ve taken to the internet to debate this, move on.

Well you had 20% yesterday, then 20% today, so 40% of it, which means he had 60% of it, give or take thats virtually half each surely? Why would you raise an eye at the portion size?

And you said it was there if he wanted some. And he did, so he did. I would have done the same

Ok fair enough, it’s a non issue.

I guess I’m a bit sore because of the background - on a big birthday of mine DH hadn’t done anything for me apart from a token present. By contrast my colleagues at work bought me a beautiful very rich chocolate cake for at least 8-10 people. We ate less than half of it at work and I got to take the rest home. I told DH to have some - again I was very vague. He was a SAHP at the time. The next day I came home, really looking forward to having a slice, to find he had eaten it all.

I was very very hurt. He did make it up to me later. I just had a flash of those feelings again but I do see I’m being a bit silly too.

Yabu

You should gobble it down in one sitting like the rest of us

In this instance I don't think you can really complain too much as you offered to share. But I'd find it annoying if somebody never seemed fussed about desserts but always wanted some of mine.

Dripfeeding much, you asked us about a situation then you added another "incident" changing the narrative. Nevertheless, if he enjoyed it he ate it, if you don't communicate how is he supposed to know. And about the token for your birthday, maybe a bit lazy but if he was the stay at home parent is understandable.

Having some, fine, finishing the whole thing so there's none there when you want it and you don't know they've done it until you find it not there, not fine. Dp and I had WORDS, or rather I did, on a similar matter this week.

He still needs to replace it.

But she says he is baking and is very generous with his baking? So technically speaking he puts more effort into deserts.

It is quite a big portion when you look at it - like you would never be served the 50-60% in a cake or coffee shop, not if it was cheesecake and definitely not if it was tiramisu. It’s too big, too rich.

Maybe I’ve underestimated the dimensions - it’s 400g. 🤷‍♀️

But that's coming from somebody who accidentally ate the wrong bit of cake when left some by my former housemate - the sizeable chunk I thought was mine was actually the entire birthday cake for her workmate and my piece was a tiny sliver hiding behind the butter!

Because the cake was sort of slab shaped I just thought it was an extremely generous portion. 😂 So maybe don't trust my judgement after all actually.

It's not the having some, that's ok, it's finishing it that makes me mad.

I find myself hiding my choc bar that I have a row of at a time so it lasts me a few days, under the salad in the veg crisper. That annoys me.

Let's hope your roomate doesn't post on Mumsnet 😅

I did say at the end of my OP that I was going to add more context. 😂

Well a slice of 200g cake seems normal to me, ok he had a bit more

I had a massive slice of cake from a Greek bakery the other day, dripping in syrup, it would have been more than 200g.

Then I ate some of my OH's baba.

I've eaten one of them in one sitting. 😳 Same with trifles.

Yep, same but I was afraid to post this to not be shamed for my gluttony

Yes I agree with this. I do most of the dinners (being the SAHP now), he makes breakfast some of time time, for meals it evens out more or less.

It sounds like a nice setup, have a rant here but pick your battles op, and enjoy the home made brownies :)