What number?

[coulditbeme2323]

Following on from a discussion with a friend in real life.

What figure would you check with your husband/wife before spending?

Obviously this is going to vary on stage of life, earnings etc etc.

Depends what it is, and it mostly crops up in conversation rather than being discussed and agreed, but generally somewhere in the mid to high hundreds. We have separate bank accounts anyway, been married nearly 30 years, and have never had a single disagreement about money being spent by either of us.

😂

Now it makes more sense that you’re so fixated on the financial benefits of marriage. Crikey, I can’t imagine living off someone else’s earnings.

I’ve never checked - it’s my money!

I can't imagine not being at home for my 3 children, we are all different.

You keep making that claim but have provided zero evidence for its veracity.
Your link relating to IHT and other taxes is not relevant to whether married vs unmarried couples discuss spending.
Just because you do, does not make it more widely true.
Why can't you own that you made something up because your friend has a financially controlling husband? You clearly think she was wrong not to have discussed with him.

Entirely your choice of course, but here you are questioning whether people who contribute to the household income are being ‘respectful’ if they spend it without asking.

Probably about £300 but its more to let him know I am taking a large amount of money out of the account incase he needs to buy anything

I mean look each to their own, but this isn't about who earns the money.

I wouldn't expect my husband to drop 100k on a car without at least having a chat about it first.

Makes sense

Of course you wouldn’t expect that, it’s obvious that you think these things should be done in consultation. As the sole earner, he may not agree.

this isn't about who earns the money.

Of course it is. I don’t consult anyone about how I spend my money - nor should I. It’s mine.

Me too. And to the post which followed this one I AM a wife!

He does, but again I appreciate not every couple is the same.

What about if it was a family where you had jointly decided that the mum should be SAHM?

Apart from 'I really fancy a bar of chocolate' ... I'd buy that without asking 😂 infact, I did that today 😆

Lol, it's an interesting question OP! I'm curious, what makes you ask?

Never going to happen in this house. I earned more than him.

Do you consult him on every decision to do with your children, or is there a threshold for that?

Married for years, I might tell him if I was thinking of buying something for a few grand but apart from that no, we have separate accounts, he sends me ££££ every month to put in savings that are in my name only.
He and I trust each other!
The only time we really consult each other about money is for a budget figure when buying a car or looking at more than 7/8 grand holidays, buying a house., big stuff
I know what he earns as he tells me and shows me his bank statement every month ( he is ND as am I but different) I never show him mine and I don't think he has a clue what I earn.
No debt, happy this way.

Every? Of course not, but do I consult him on decisions to do with the children? Of course I do.

I wouldnt consult him on any spending or expect him to consult me. We each put money into a joint account for bills petrol food shop holidays and extras and the rest is our own

Hes spend thousands on golf clubs. Nothing to do with me!! I might spend ££££ on a girls trip/holiday a handbag... again nothing to do with him!!

We earn our own money and as long as hes paid his half to the bills then he doesnt need to tell me what hes spending on what.

But you take my point.

So I’m curious, you say to others you think respectful to consult before making purchases with joint money, so as a comparison how much would you spend without asking, and what kinds of child related decisions would you make without asking?

Not really. If I was the sole breadwinner I wouldn’t be consulting. If the money was available I’d just buy it.

I mean I will give you some examples that might be relevant to me both kids and financial.

Moving one of the children's swimming lessons from a Monday to a Wednesday = not consult.

Taking one of them to look around another school because I wasn't happy with the current one = consult.

Buying a new winter coat for a grand = not consult.

Buying a Piaget in rose gold because I fancied a new watch = consult.