What number?

[coulditbeme2323]

Following on from a discussion with a friend in real life.

What figure would you check with your husband/wife before spending?

Obviously this is going to vary on stage of life, earnings etc etc.

All finances shared here. We don’t generally consult each other for personal purchases - we’re both in tune with the finances and we both know how much we have available to spend at any given point in time. For expensive things that affect us as a family (car, holiday, house improvements, kids’ hobbies) we jointly agree on a budget and do the research together.

If I marry my partner tomorrow my finances or how we split thing will not change. Please direct me to the law that stipulates how married couples share their finances.

I don't know, I never really thought about it. There's never really been anything that was hugely expensive that I wanted to buy that wasn't something involving both of us or the family really that would naturally be talked about anyway. I mean I've paid for weekends away with my mom/friends without checking with him, I usually would just tell him how much I paid in conversation and vice versa

Hope this helps, if you genuinely didn't know being married meant something financially.

blog.moneysavingexpert.com/2025/01/martin-lewis--the-nine-big-financial-benefits-of-being-married/

Of course they would change, you would have more of a claim over each others finances for a start if things were to go wrong.

No specific amount. More to do it what it is. I’d buy a new hoover for 400 without talking about it (bar mentioning that we needed a new hoover perhaps), but wouldn’t buy an old banger of a car for the same price without chatting first.

I think people are talking about two different things here.

If you keep your bank accounts separate after marriage, nothing will change in your day to day spending - your spouse has no more rights of access to them than before you were married.

If you were to divorce, that's where things would change - your spouse can require you to declare your finances in full, and may have a claim on your assets - obviously there are many factors that determine what sort of claim they might have, your full domestic and working circumstances would be considered, but that's the difference.

Whereas if you simply live together and split, it's much more difficult to make a claim on your ex's assets that are not in joint names, other than maintenance for any children you have together.

My DH and I have separate finances, we both spend what we want on what we want.

Do you have any idea of each others savings etc?

Anything from my personal account or personal savings no I dont have to ask him or tell him.

anything from the joint account or the joint savings would be a mutual decision anyway.

I bought myself a new car at the start of the year I didn’t ask him no. I just told him I was going to do it. And he’s response was “Lovely, Do you need me to help you look?”

Ah! Yes yes... sorry, I thought you meant there was something in law about how much you could spend without asking each other first!!! 🫣🤡 I did think it was a bit odd...

The law doesn’t dictate how much a person spends, nor does it dictate that a person consults the other before making a purchase. if you are saying that I am incorrect, which law are you referring to?

The law gives legal protection in the event of divorce. I.e. all assets are to be divided by the divorcing couple.

I didn't say it specifically dictated that, obviously it doesn't.

My point was people less likely to consult if married as they don't have the same legal connection to their finances.

Why are people less likely to consult?

I feel like we are going around in circles.

Married, joint account for bills - otherwise separate finances. Personal spending on myself - I might mention it in passing 'Christ that holiday with the girls is starting to add up!' or 'that meal was effing expensive'. But I wouldn't check.

Out of the joint account - probably mention/check e.g. had to shell out £500 for some painting work we'd both agreed on and was letting him know it was more than we'd been expecting.

Pretty open with each other's finances and have some shared goals on retirement etc.

It’s okay, I realised a while back that you don’t have a logical argument that is relevant to the question asked by the OP.

It's not that, I feel I have already answered it.

Have a friend whose Dad was financially and otherwise abusive to her mum - would give her housekeeping and expected it to be accounted down to the penny - and on nothing frivous - like getting her hair cut, or a new pair of shoes till they were worn down and had been inspected.

She's now very generous - but her and husband do the reciepts thing - they have a book with every spend written down - that would do my head in.

Anything over £1500 we’d likely have a discussion about

A fixed number doesn't make any sense as a one off purchase above £100 or whatever could have far less impact on the household budget than spending a few quid a week more than is affordable on groceries or buying coffee and lunch every day when you don't have the spare money to afford this.

Married and only consult if it will affect ongoing expenses. We have personal accounts plus a joint for household expenses. I would happily spend 5k on jewellery (so would he) without saying anything first but would discuss getting new animals at 50$ as it would affect the household budget.

You haven’t answered that. But I won’t comment any further. You’re wasting both of our time.

Apologies let me answer.

If I have understood your question correctly, you are asking me why a husband and wife would be more likely to consult than just partners?

My answer is because the law specifically ties a married couple together financially in ways it doesn't for non married couples.

This whole post is weird, and based on your other comments on a different post I think you just look down at unmarried couples.

If I want to purchase a piece of furniture, I'm not going to chose to do so without discussion just because we are married. Being married wouldn't be a consideration for almost any purchase with a couple, married or not, unless you're talking about a significant purchase, like a house. There's all sorts of reasons a couple would discuss a purchase, but simply because they happen to be married is totally irrelevant.