What number?

[coulditbeme2323]

Following on from a discussion with a friend in real life.

What figure would you check with your husband/wife before spending?

Obviously this is going to vary on stage of life, earnings etc etc.

We chat about anything over £100 from joint account.

We have separate bank accounts. I've never checked with my DP before spending anything. Provided I'm paying my share of the bills and mortgage, which I am, I wouldn't consult him.

I think partner is probably different from husband or wife.

It would depend. We both have a few hundred pounds a month of “personal” money that we can use for whatever. And we have joint spending money which is used on household stuff, groceries, stuff for DC, presents etc. We don’t check that with each other either.

Savings are joint, so we’d discuss anything coming out of there unless it was something obviously needed eg I sort the car and home insurance yearly and tend to take that out of savings and wouldn’t check it with DH.

We don’t have a set amount, but more what it’s going to be spent on…
updating the kids wardrobes when they move up a size - no discussion
a trip away - discussion
gifts for the kids birthday and Christmas - discussion
food shop - no discussion

our joint account is for household and family purchases. Most things aren’t discussed but may be mentioned in conversation
“X needs a new bike, any ideas what to get?” Rather than talking about the cost, if that makes sense?

Why is it different? Assuming they live together, share bills etc. it’s exactly the same.

They have no legal commitment to each other.

The law actually reflects it is different.

I don't agree. Been with my DP 15years. 4 kids, mortgage etc not sure how him being my husband vs partner would change up how we spend our money.

I mean it's legally very different.

so people only have a responsibility to each other if they are married? And anyway, what does the law have to do with whether a couple discuss purchases?

We share all finances and generally sense check anything over £100.

Me and DH have separate finances. I don't want to be checking with someone before I spend money. I earn my own money and spend it when I want and on what I want.

Because there are financial implications/protections to being married.

Your post has not mentioned the law at all so how do you see that as relevant to your original question?

Not even your husband?

About 3K.

Other than that I'd only check with him if the spend involved him needing to take time off work or be around for something.

No. I am an adult.

Yes. But that has nothing to do with discussing what you are going to buy.

Finances are different when married.

This isn't opinion, it's factual law.

We discuss anything taken from the joint account thats not regular bills.

We then each have our own account we can spend as we wish though we usually have conversations about intended larger purchases above £1-200

Fair enough

We have separate finances so I wouldn't feel the need to 'check' as such but I value my husband's opinion on any non-routine purchases so I run most things past him in a 'do you think that's worth £xx ' sort of way. I ultimately decide for myself, though.

I think we're more like this. If it's a thing we both have an opinion on we discuss it. If I wanted to buy an expensive rug for example dh wouldn't care so I'd just buy it without discussion. I want to replace the wardrobes in our bedroom. That affects us both so we'd discuss it. Rather than having a £ limit of what we discuss.

But we have enough money for our everyday living and neither of us are particularly extravagant. If one of us was always spending my answer might be different.

We each have our own money and pay different things. We are fortunate enough to earn more than we spend and can save as well. I think the last time that we discussed whether we should spend on something, it was for a holiday. We’ve been together since 2000 and it’s worked pretty well since then.

Ooooohhh how? I don't know about this!