To say 'make your own breakfast' to Husband

[OneThingAfterTheOther]

We do manage to share the load of chores as both work FT and one high schooler DC to drop/pick at times from activities.

But with DC home with school exams , I found myself doing all the cooking and washing straight for the past 4 days after a weekend that was equally busy with dinner out with friends of DH on a Sunday late night.

I think with DC home , it meant making 4 meals a day on time whilst normally we do late meals and easy meals while working. We were both worried about ordering out as DC had a bug just last week and we didnt want to chance it with exams with takeout food etc.

I was also tutoring DC as requested to by DH on a subject I am more familiar /expert in for his exam this week.

DC off to school this morning and I went for a mini lie down before logging into WFH. Was getting myself eggs and toast when DH goes ' Can I get some toast and eggs too' I had previously this morning told him I am exhausted after the past four days and do have work today just like he does. And can he make the lunch today, for which DC will be home for. To which he appeared to just smirk and laugh it off ' OH im in charge of lunch eh'

I snapped when he asked for breakfast and said get your own breakfast rudely. He was shocked as that is a rare for me to do. At worst I would say ' I am so sorry, no time, office call in two mins, here have half mine' etc

AIBU to lose it and snap ? I didnt feel I could snap when DC around on study leave the past week, but it building up a bit

DH said ' but I did car pool run this morning and groceries' I have said this a gazillion times but I can order from Asda/tesco the weekly shop and do a better job of it without picking only markdowns and almost expired items half the time. And the car pool drop is two minutes by car after I sorted DC ready to go.

It was a silly thing to snap over as another set of eggs and toast wouldn’t have created much more effort.

Why are you doing 4 meals? Surely your 16 year old should be eating what you eat?
Your title made me think he’d asked you to stop what you were doing and make breakfast but as you were already making it I think it’s a shame you didn’t make a bit more for him. Not ok though that you’ve been making all the meals.

Yes I did feel a bit like I should have picked my battles there as I mainly wanted him to make lunch , and me giving him eggs and toast would have only taken 5 mins. And now he has an excuse to sulk the day away with no chores being shared

You lost me at ' and I went for a mini lie down ' as you only wrote this post at 9.48 am.

is there more to come i.e. do you suffer with ill health or do you also have a baby and are up with night feeds.

I do sort of agree with this although it's very different scrambling a couple of extra eggs to having to poach more when you're almost done!

But YANBU on the whole, OP - you sound knackered!

Nah in with you on this OP. It frustrates me when a quick job like making a coffee becomes a faff taking orders from different people and whatever. I understand it's polite and the social convention but I genuinely think it's quicker and easier a lot of the time for people to sort out their own food and drinks, aside from the evening meal.

Breakfast, lunch, dinner .....mid morning snack and evening snack.....

Hot chocolate drinks......

DS helped with washing up a few times, and other small chores

I think mainly its just that DH helps with a meal or two every few days and he was just 'locking in' as the kids say to not do it this week

It feels like the 1950s still that we have to nag and nudge them even though women have been working in jobs now and contributing to bills as well for almost a 100 years.....

Why is a 16 year old relying on his mum to make lunch???

This is the problem I think. More of you should be pitching in.

If I was making myself eggs and toast, it wouldn't bother me to double it up.

now he has an excuse to sulk the day away with no chores being shared

Well, this is not acceptable and if that's how he usually deals with this sort of thing, I'm not surprised you've had enough!

I would have asked him if he wanted toast and eggs when I started making mine. That's how people who are nice to each other generally do things. Making two portions at once is no extra work. But YANBU to not want to make a new portion after you've already made one and are going to eat it.

Duplicate post.

Why is your 16 year old not sorting themselves out for school, if its two minutes by car surely walking isn't out of the question?

You don't have to make snacks and hot chocolates for a 16 year old!

Especially with both of us being long time coffee drinkers and him switching to tea very recently which is fine but now he doesnt do the coffee either and sometimes asks me to drink tea ..... we used to take turns for coffee....

So much going on here!

At 16 why on earth are you driving him two minutes to a car pool ... surely he can walk? And sort his breakfasts, hot chocolate etc.

Its usually DH saying lets give him hot chocs when we have coffee and then I end up doing it haha

To be fair , its mostly just fruit from the table for snacks, but sometimes kid hot snacks in eve like chicken goujens in the oven

Touchwood, but DC appears to be having teen boy always hungry phase - and the grocery shopping never has easy to pick and eat stuff - I would have time to do a better shop once a week if I went cooking and washing and hoovering all the time

That's what happens when you feel exhausted. It seems like a small thing but in reality at this point you obviously feel like you're never done just doing for everyone else. Stop running yourself into the ground and have some rest first and foremost. Tell everyone to make their own meals and maybe make yours for once.

Surely this is just one of those things that happen occasionally when people get frustrated etc.

There doesn't need to be fallout from it, surely? I wouldn't be impressed with DH if he gets a sulk on from being mildly rebuked like that.

I’d snap too if someone said, “Can I get…”

If I was asking someone I’d be like oh do you think you could do some for me as well, pretty please? And later: thank you darling, I appreciate it.

I’m pretty no-nonsense but I show my appreciation when people look after me.

When I asked him before I started making mine he said no thanks when I was taking mine off the stove, he came and said can you do mine too

Yes I do feel like I was petty, and he did look very shocked

In isolation maybe. It sounds constant for the OP right now and she's not getting much back.

There will be a sulk but for this, probably a day is max. LOoks like I have to do lunch then for DC.....

Why are you doing so much for a 16 year old? Why the mini lie down?

DC can make his own lunch!! Why on earth would you do it?

It sounds to me like you're making a bit of a mountain out of a molehill, I can't imagine getting wound up about making a tea and a coffee versus two coffees, or chucking some chicken bits in the oven. And the weekly shop takes as long as it takes, me doing the washing doesn't cut into that. But this is coming from a lone parent of a primary aged child that also works full time and does everything with time to spare for a couple of hours every evening for myself...