AIBU to feel hurt our friendship group went away without us?

[starships]

Aibu to be hurt that the rest of our friendship group have gone away for 2 nights?

so friendship group of 3 couples, always all been there for each other, always invited all couples whenever we have arranged anything even if it wasn’t their cup of tea.

today we’ve been inundated by pictures from 2 of the couples who have gone away for an (expensive) city break to somewhere we love doing stuff that we love. Aibu to feel hurt that we were never asked? I’m genuinely shocked by this.. no issues with friendship at all but this has been planned for some time and no one told us..

just feel hurt that no one asked if we would like to come? a just a week ago they cancelled on us after having something booked for a number of months they all pulled out with various excuses.. seen them since with no issues so we’re a bit perplexed!

thanks all- just wondering if I’m being unreasonable to feel hurt or not?

I can imagine the shock of seeing all the photos but as you know they haven’t done anything wrong and they may regularly do other things as a foursome.
Try it to overthink this.

Very mean of them, I’m assuming you have a group chat or at least regular In-person chats, but they clearly chose to arrange this outside of that. Similar has happened to me before and I always regretted not asking why I was excluded. It made me feel self conscious about my relationship with them, so I found myself distancing myself. If I had just asked, maybe there was some explanation that was not as bad as the various reasons I came up with in my head for a long long time after.

Next time you see any of them, ask how their trip was and say “We’d have loved that.” Then leave that empty silence for them to fill with a reason why not one of the others thought you should be invited. They’ll say something - it would be too awkward not to.

Very to be honest- all friendly and all text all the time. Never had crossed word or even a hint of any dislike whatsoever to be honest.

I wouldn’t do this, they wanted to go away as a foursome which is a completely nothing to do.

Did they say why they’d organised it just the 4 of them?

Oh I’d be upset too OP, I’m sorry ☹️ it really stings to be left out, even as an adult it feels a bit like being picked last for PE!

My friends went to a festival a couple of years ago that I’d have loved to go to, we are a group of six and I was the only one not invited, then they sent all the photos to our bloody group chat. I just asked if they’d meant to share them to their other chat (as clearly there was a second chat 🫠) and left it at that. Never got an explanation as to why I was left out, but I assume it’s because I was about 14 weeks pregnant and they didn’t want me spoiling their fun.

Rarely see them now, turns out you really do find out who your friends are when you have a baby 🤪

Are the other 4 swingers? Joking aside I’m sure there’s a genuine reason you weren’t invited. Maybe they assumed you wouldn’t want to go. But yeah it would have been nice to have been asked.

They definitely don’t want to be close friends anymore. I think sharing pics with you wasn’t innocent, it was deliberate.
Things like this usually encourage me to think about other past events and then the pattern evolves. I would probably come out with at least 10 reasons why it’s happened by now. However in reality it’s never just one reason - it’s a few here and there.
I wouldn’t be in a hurry to comment or to reply. It’s always better to take your time.

By the way they could be on MN.

Maybe it’s a bit of a partner swopping weekend and they’ve noticed a lack of pampas grass in your front garden. Put an upside down pineapple on your front door next time they come over and see what reaction you get.

if it’s not the above this is really shit of them - and this coming from someone who hates people living in each others pockets.

Ha great minds!!!

I couldn't be this passive about it. I don't know whether I find it frustrating or admirable!

"It's always been the 6 of us when we've gone away. Why did you plan this w/o us? We would have loved to have come and are confused why you didn't involve us"

If you are such good friends and this is entirely out of the norm then an upfront question should be fine.

Social media is for sharing pictures. It isn't rubbing it in anyone's face, it's using a platform for its intended purpose.

If someone chooses to take it personally then that's on them.

Something is up OP, if it’s like you say in your post - very odd

trust your instinct and get it out in the open

has anything happened between you recently?

OP said the photos were shared directly with them, presumably in a group chat or direct message. That is the very definition of rubbing it in their faces.

Yes definitely use this question - there is only one way - being direct

Don't send this kind of message. So passive aggressive. Try to invite them to something in a while. If they pull out again, you'll have your answer.

Why ask though, they’ll either give a woolly answer (the accommodation was only for four) or answer honestly with something like it’s more of a laugh with just the four of us. Neither answer will make the OP feel better.

I was also thinking along lines OPs or OPs husband has done something they know about and feel uncomfortable or disprove - like affair

sorry OP 🙊

You’d hope they would have the emotional intelligence to be upfront - we are talking about a sixume who always do things together

Not in my opinion. I don't think friends are rubbing it in my face when they send me photos of them on holiday, or at a concert, or spending time with anyone else. I think they are sharing photos of them doing something fun.

I'm an adult and totally get that sometimes people want to spend time with me and sometimes want to spend time with other people.

Getting jealous because friends are spending time with each other when you're over the age of about 8 is ridiculous.

Therefore you are in a different group with a different vibe - irrelevant

This did cross my mind as well.

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