AIBU to feel hurt our friendship group went away without us?

[starships]

Aibu to be hurt that the rest of our friendship group have gone away for 2 nights?

so friendship group of 3 couples, always all been there for each other, always invited all couples whenever we have arranged anything even if it wasn’t their cup of tea.

today we’ve been inundated by pictures from 2 of the couples who have gone away for an (expensive) city break to somewhere we love doing stuff that we love. Aibu to feel hurt that we were never asked? I’m genuinely shocked by this.. no issues with friendship at all but this has been planned for some time and no one told us..

just feel hurt that no one asked if we would like to come? a just a week ago they cancelled on us after having something booked for a number of months they all pulled out with various excuses.. seen them since with no issues so we’re a bit perplexed!

thanks all- just wondering if I’m being unreasonable to feel hurt or not?

Hrft but to be specificically excluded, Ie not told about it suggests a feeling that they don't want to be your close friends now.

I would prob let it fizzle out they dont sound too loyal. Would def ask why not included. Its hurtful though

Hi- we see them every week, this is why is so strange. We usually go for dinner every week. I honestly can’t think of a single issue or cross word or anything out the ordinary at all

They have all had a dinner since the cancellation.

Yes

I think it could be something you or your DH did on your last trip. It may be something silly like your DH drank extra wine from
the communal stash or something like that and it’s bugged at least one person in the group.
Has their been any mention of group trips this year?

Haha- my thoughts too, we’re happily married he is absolutely NOT having an affair, definitely not 🤣🤣

Yes- there are a further few trips to various places with all couples booked for the rest of this year and into next!

Maybe they got a free trip somehow and it was only for 4 adults? The secrecy is weird though, you’d imagine an upcoming trip would be brought up.

In that case if it was me I’d try not to give it too much thought, maybe they just said to themselves we must do something as a four for a change and then felt embarrassed to mention it.

I think I would have to ask, like this, as the first question then the other. There is no way I would be all "Ok, hope you had fun! Xxxx" if they said everything was fine, because it isn't.

If you’re all booked up to going away later in the year it sounds like you’re still planning to go with them OP?

If you all get on so well - could you not raise it the next time you see them? Not to get their reason why they did it but to say it was a disappointing surprise to see they’d gone together without you. And their implication by sending the photos and openly saying they’d planned to go away just the 4 of them was also a surprise as this isn’t something this group does? Or is it? If they say well yes we do meet up independently but it’s all fine isn’t it bcos we’re all ok with that aren’t we?
I do think you need to say well that’s the first I’ve ever heard of it. And ofc that’s fine - just that we were never informed of it. So we feel a little stupid now. What stopped you from filling us in if it’s all so out in the open? And then I’d be stepping back completely.

I’d be hurt and puzzled if this happened to me and I’d want to know why. Is there one of the other 4 that you feel you can speak to honestly and who would be frank with you about the situation? If so then a 1:1 with him or her might help.

If they are so close,why keep it a secret?It is not difficult at all to organize a city vreak fir 6 peiple.
She has every right to be burt and annoyed. They were unkind and thoughtless.I would ask one of them why.

Time to find new travel friends.

I would also be hurt. But if they are otherwise lovely friends and you have other trips and events booked with them I would just accept they wanted a 4 person trip for this one and not to read too much into it. Certainly would not raze my place in a nice group over it. Baby and bath water etc.

You often get posters demanding blood loyalty from adult friends who will advise stomping off into the sunset and leaving the group. I wonder if these are the same ones that bemoan that they have no friends …

I would reach out and act normal again if you want to stay friends. That message you sent clearly shows you’re annoyed, so they may be nervous about reaching out if it’s awkward!

Very unkind reply to your question. Personally I would be giving them a wide berth in future and start making new friends ....... and yes I would feel extremely hurt

This sounds toxic to me esp the one person that doesn’t like the another - and they specifically sent you photos - that is such a pisstake.
idk if I could carry on the friendship - id certainly be saying you were upset etc. if you’re all that close you should be totally honest.

Did you all meet at the same time, did the other two couples meet first, are the women closer to each other than they are to you?
Perhaps they have always done some things as a four.
Other than it being a shock to see the photos I don’t think it’s a reason to end a friendship.

Out of interest, who shared the photos? As I expect that couple arranged this.

Yes that thought occured to me. Also, were the photos specifically sent to the OP, or did she come across them via social media? Seems weird to send pics of the jolly good time they’ve been having without her, considering this will be the first she’s heard of it. Possibly done in the spirit of ‘quick, act normal.’ Of course, even thinking this makes me a weirdo 🤣

OP later said they were sent directly (assume in a group chat?) so I think you're right!

I'd reply asking ' was there any reason we weren't invited? Seems odd they didn't let you know about the trip if you usually all go together.

I don't blame you for being hurt. It is very unkind tbf. Are you particularly close to one person in that group? Could you perhaps ask her / him ? It is all very odd, especially if they sent photos to the WhatsApp group