AIBU to expect my husband to buy lubricant for sex?

[Orangeducks]

For years me and my husband have used lubricant in sex because otherwise I bleed/ it chafes and isn't that comfortable. The bottle ran out about a month ago and I asked him to buy more (I know I could buy it but im a teacher and terrified a student/parent will spot me buying it). Its always been him that buys it. He just keeps forgetting and the last couple of times we've had sex without it but I bleed and its become like a joke that he hasn't bought it. We were about to have sex earlier and I got annoyed that he hadn't bought any yet. I explained that I play my part in our sex life by going to the pharmacy every 3 months and getting my blood pressure checked etc to get the pill and put artificial hormones in my body every day (he refuses to get the snip though were definitely done with kids) as well as all the other stuff that women accept comes with sex (I get thrush fairly frequently) and that I felt it wasn't much to ask that he picked up a bottle of lube. I am almost always with the children (they attend my school) as well so any time I'm shopping, they're with me. He works away 3 days a week so has a lot more time alone and I am very rarely out of the house with out my kids and don't fancy going to the lube aisle with them! He's just stormed out and said I could buy it and now is sulking.
AIBU to make it his responsibility to buy it?

What a life you have that you haven’t 5 adult minutes to yourself to buy lube.

Why don’t you order from lovehoney in bed together? I don’t know what point you are trying to make but you are only hurting yourself.

@Orangeducks Depending on your age, you might need to consider vaginal estrogen. Bleeding during sex can be loss of hormones - read up on vaginal atrophy. It's very common and using a really weak estrogen cream (from your GP ) can be the answer. Loads of women use it and need it!

Are you over 40 and perhaps heading into peri menopause?

Link for you that may help.
www.drlouisenewson.co.uk/knowledge/vaginal-dryness-why-you-dont-need-to-suffer

For gods sake it’s called the internet and you can do shipping on it and you can get it from other places other than Amazon. Some people are just weird and hardworking.

This is what we’re spiraling about? Order some on Amazon and move on.

Genuinely. Two clicks, discreet packaging, problem solved in less than five seconds.

If it’s been a month and it matters this much, at some point you just need to handle it yourself. Not everything needs to become a standoff or a referendum on your entire relationship.

So buy the lube. End the saga. Then, if you still care, have a separate conversation about him forgetting but right now this is the most solvable problem on earth being treated like a crisis

I agree with this. Honestly if sex without lube hurt and made me bleed my husband would never want to have sex without lube because he wouldn't want to hurt me. I'm surprised your husband wanted to and that you agreed.

I see what you mean about you taking all the responsibility. I wonder if this happens in other areas of your life too which is why it's bothering you here.

I can sort of see what you mean, but your set-up sounds more even-handed. OP's DH has refused the snip, appears uncaring of OP's comfort and seems to regard sex preparations as women's work. Not sure what wanting him to do this one thing for her has to do with being 'helpless'.

If I was in OP's shoes he wouldn't even be needing the lube, as with his attitude he wouldn't be getting any sex!

Does the dH really think amazon is the only place to shop for lube online 👀

It’s depressing how many nasty bitchy people there are on mumsnet now. It’s a wonder anyone posts.

Why don't you go half and half on the cost as you both presumably get the enjoyment. 😊

I really don’t get a man who is happy for his wife to be left bleeding and feeling sore and chafed after sex.

I literally cannot fathom this.

What a mean post.

4 or more episodes of Thrush within a 12 month period should be checked out with your GP as there may be underlying health issues. I would focus more on this than who is responsible for buying an ointment. You may well find the GP will offer it on prescription anyway which can be ordered via Boots and delivered if you choose that option. Even if you were to pick it up at your local Boots they would have it packaged already when you went to pick it up and would just have to confirm your dob. If you do not have a Boots then any pharmacy you nominate near your Doctor will have it.

Shop would be shut til A. He shows you some respect and B. He buys the lube.
Selfish git.
BIG turnoff.
..and he needs to get the snip....

Sadly, I think there's a fair few of them about.

He sounds pretty selfish- refuse sex until he buys it.

The bullying on here is unbelievable.

Boots, Superdrug etc
Though I agree he should take some responsibility and buy it, you do your part with contraception
Edit to add: there would be no sex until he buys it in my world

And set it up as a repeat regular order, so you don't run out

YANBU to want your DH to step up and buy it. But I think YABU for not solving the problem and just fetching one on a lunch break where no one will see or care. Or buy online from any pharmacy as many allow check out as a guest. I read your posts OP and I don’t understand why you would put yourself through pain and bleeding during sex. I would prioritise my comfort and body first and buy it over waiting for someone else to sort it out. You need to put yourself as first even if your husband doesn’t quite see it like that. Is this just one off or has he done it before? You know you can also set up reoccurring orders online to have delivery every few months.

Amazon is your friend for this one!

This is what I would do.

Buy some from love honey and get him to buy you some extra “treats” in the process 😝

Fetching one on a lunch break is hilarious when op works in a school. What the fuck is a lunch break? We eat while supervising children / surrounded by children.

Ok so if you need lube this badly and bleeding after sex, I think you need a doctor more than lube. At least you can get it on your prescription.