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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to expect my husband to buy lubricant for sex?

413 replies

Orangeducks · 09/04/2026 08:47

For years me and my husband have used lubricant in sex because otherwise I bleed/ it chafes and isn't that comfortable. The bottle ran out about a month ago and I asked him to buy more (I know I could buy it but im a teacher and terrified a student/parent will spot me buying it). Its always been him that buys it. He just keeps forgetting and the last couple of times we've had sex without it but I bleed and its become like a joke that he hasn't bought it. We were about to have sex earlier and I got annoyed that he hadn't bought any yet. I explained that I play my part in our sex life by going to the pharmacy every 3 months and getting my blood pressure checked etc to get the pill and put artificial hormones in my body every day (he refuses to get the snip though were definitely done with kids) as well as all the other stuff that women accept comes with sex (I get thrush fairly frequently) and that I felt it wasn't much to ask that he picked up a bottle of lube. I am almost always with the children (they attend my school) as well so any time I'm shopping, they're with me. He works away 3 days a week so has a lot more time alone and I am very rarely out of the house with out my kids and don't fancy going to the lube aisle with them! He's just stormed out and said I could buy it and now is sulking.
AIBU to make it his responsibility to buy it?

OP posts:
BrightLightTonight · 09/04/2026 08:48

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KitsyWitsy · 09/04/2026 08:49

I think it's ridiculous that you can't buy it yourself. That's irrational and needs addressing.

Or just order from Amazon.

OvernightBloats · 09/04/2026 08:49

Buy it online if you are embarrassed about buying from a shop.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 09/04/2026 08:49

Amazon? I can understand why you don’t want to buy it in person.

Bigtreeesss · 09/04/2026 08:49

Have you heard of Amazon 😂

but don’t have sex with him if it causes you pain. Why put yourself through that

Tableforjoan · 09/04/2026 08:50

I mean just put some in with the general
shop or ordering from Amazon. It’s not that hard.

Providing you want to also have sex
that is.

BMW6 · 09/04/2026 08:50

Just put it in your trolley at Asda or whatever!

PinkNailPolish2026 · 09/04/2026 08:50

He's just stormed out and said I could buy it and now is sulking.

I don't know how people put up with sulking men, he’d be sulking an awfully long time if he was my DH. It’s simple he either buys it or no sex, his choice.

VickyEadieofThigh · 09/04/2026 08:51

I wouldn't be having sex at all without lube if I were you. And I don't see why he cannot do this one thing.

Secretseverywhere · 09/04/2026 08:51

I do think if your mature enough to be having sex you can manage to buy some lube. He’s Also bring a dick. Just buy some online from Amazon /boots and you can carry on with the ostrich impression.

Orangeducks · 09/04/2026 08:51

We share an Amazon Prime account with his mum so definitely don't want to order it on there 😆

OP posts:
Seeline · 09/04/2026 08:53

I think you're a bit daft not wanting to buy it, but if it's always been his job, and he isn't contributing anything else then he either buys it, or he doesn't have sex.

Why won't he have the snip?

OMGitsnotgood · 09/04/2026 08:53

How do people get through life if they can’t solve simple problems like this?

BuffaloCauliflower · 09/04/2026 08:53

I do understand your frustration, and you’d be well within your rights to not have sex with him without lube. But you can order online from Lovehoney, and probably a multitude of other places too, so it doesn’t have to be an in person purchase for either of you

ChickenBananaBanana · 09/04/2026 08:53

Just buy it with your supermarket shop... It's not like it's down an aisle filled with butt plugs

Seeline · 09/04/2026 08:53

Orangeducks · 09/04/2026 08:51

We share an Amazon Prime account with his mum so definitely don't want to order it on there 😆

Set up your own account?!

Alwayslurkingsometimesposting · 09/04/2026 08:53

That is awful behaviour that he stormed off sulking. It's bad enough he won't get the snip and expects you to stay on the pill forever. Definitely dont have sex with him again until he buys more lube

Classiclines · 09/04/2026 08:53

I don't understand why you can't buy your own BUT the fact he doesn't seem to care about your discomfort and also storms off and sulks indicates this is not a loving relationship. And I think you should be focusing on that.

Tableforjoan · 09/04/2026 08:54

By share account you share the log in or you have her added as a family member to share prime?

If she’s just a family member she won’t see your purchases.

Anyway there’s still places like love honey or just get it added to a home delivery shop or just who cares if a 17 year old sees you buying lube 🤷🏻‍♀️

24hrmilkbar · 09/04/2026 08:55

If he wants to have set then all he has to do is pop into any pharmacy or supermarket. Not a lot to ask to save you pain. If he isn't willing to do that then he doesn't care if you are comfortable/enjoying it, so he why would you want to have set with him. It's not about how difficult it is or whether you could do it. Both of you are taking part so why should you be the only person taking on the responsibilities (hormones, lube, health consequences)

BIossomtoes · 09/04/2026 08:55

Just sling it in the supermarket trolley. Really, nobody cares.

Orangeducks · 09/04/2026 08:56

Sorry I was editing my post there which crossed with some people replying very quickly to add that I am with my children almost all of the time.
They attend my school so are always with me. He works away a lot so I rarely am in a shop by myself and dont want to be looking at the lube with them!! I share an Amazon account with him mum so dont want to order it on there. He is by himself waaay more than I am so I feel it is not much to ask that he picks it up!
I got quite annoyed about all of the responsibilities of sex fall to me (ie. Don't get pregnant, buy the product, deal with the thrush) and he gets to just turn up and have sex?!

OP posts:
Tableforjoan · 09/04/2026 08:56

What do you think will happen if a student sees you.

omg I saw Mrs Ducks buying lube…

Nobody is actually going to care, now if you purchased it with some thrush cream, a cucumber and a bottle of wine you might raise an eyebrow.

DivorcedButHappyNow · 09/04/2026 08:56

Order from lovehoney. Better choice and comes in discrete packaging.

You may want to make other purchases too 😜

Don't get why you are dying in a ditch over this one though.

Newyeargymwanker · 09/04/2026 08:57

Ah! I can see that it would be extremely unsettling news for your mil to know you have sex. I imagine she thinks your children were born by immaculate conception, so the news that you have sex would be devastating.

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