To be so upset by what my aunt said and did when I went to visit

[Droopydroopingdropped]

Hello
I know I am probably being unreasonable and my aunt had every right to say what she said but I feel horrible and just want to get things off my chest
I can't talk about this to anyone in real life as they will think me too shallow
Anyway I visited family abroad after 6 years and the first thing my aunt said when I arrived at her house was "You look so different, oh you've changed so much."
When I visited last I was 50, still having periods and also had met the man I am now married too so I was all giddy and glowy. Six years on and, although still in love, life throws a lot of stress at you etc plus I am post menopausal.
I thought I looked okay but she kept mentioning it, saying oh my hair was so thick before now its thin, I look drawn, I dont look like before.
Just basically making me feel like shit.
She wouldn't cook either so would just eat snacks for herself and then fry me a load of chips
After a few days of this my skin came out in horrible boils
I endured 3 weeks but luckily there were some other relatives who took me out for meals and tried to send food for me because they all know what this aunt is like.
She would ask what I would like to eat but then just make chips
When I came back to the UK I got diagnosed with fatty liver!
I feel traumatised by my experience and I don't want anything more to do with this aunt who seems to be angry that I have had the audacity to age.
I did manage to stay with a cousin for a couple of nights but her husband didnt really like me being there.
I spent so much money for the flights and buying gifts for everyone and bar a few of them they just made me feel awful especially the aunt!
She is my mum's youngest sister, never been married, she lives with her unmarried brother who also has gone a bit weird.
I am researching fillers and plastic surgery, she has given me a complex.

OP, your Aunt sounds horrible, I have no idea why you didn't cut your visit short. Are you from a culture that is big on "duty" to family?

Don't take what she said to heart - ageing is harsh in your 50s, it's just a fact of life. By all means have a glow up - new skincare, good diet, good haircut etc - but don't start thinking about surgery just because of what she said.

So - YANBU for never wanting to see your Aunt again. YABU to have stayed so long to endure this treatment!

You don't need plastic surgery! A 72-hour fast followed by a few weeks of healthy eating, maybe.

Op, how do you feel in yourself? I ask this, as a family member did the same thing to me once and looked visibly shocked at my appearance, having not seen me for 2 years.

It turned out I had a potentially fatal medical condition and I'd just been putting the extreme tiredness I was feeling down to having a new baby. The comment spurred me to go to the doctor and get checked!

Sounds like a very odd family all round.

or boils.

I have mild fatty liver and my very slim GP was telling me that lots of people have it to some extent - including her, in spite of doing all the right things.

Yes she sounds awful but after 2 days of negging and chips, why didn’t you move out? Or even go home?

Ok no uber eats.

Were they not even any shops to buy your own food? How did your aunt get all the chips to feed you with?

You’re 56 not 6, surely you could get your own food and cook yourself! No one force fed you chips and like the others say, you’d have had to eat fat for longer to get fatty liver!

And restaurants, which her other relatives could get to but not op.

Are you really 56?
this sounds like it’s been posted by a child!!

I think you’re getting a hard time on here OP. You’ve described a problem and asked for help, to be met by a barrage of interrogation, most of it suggesting that you should have said and done things differently. Whatever went on, that won’t help now,

Your aunt was hurtful, whether or not she meant to be. It seems to me that you will have to reevaluate your family relationships.

I think you need to keep the comments in perspective. You had a visit with an insulting auntie who seems to have no filter, that's all. Taking the comments to heart so much that you're considering plastic surgery is just daft, esp as you were happy with yourself before.
Why would you take the word from one batty lady over your own?

And another - fatty liver disease is a common thing as people get older too. You would've already had it am pretty sure as takes months, if not years to develop. Unless you are an alcoholic, which can cause it to develop quicker.

Go easy on yourself. Stop letting other people's comments affect you so extremely and negatively.

Traumatised? Seriously? I mean the aunt sounds like a bit of a knob, but come on.

She sounds awful. Put the trip out of your head and focus on yourself now.

Wow. What are the chances? Facial boils and fatty liver. All from eating too many chips for 3 weeks!

😂This place sometimes. 😂

I'm sorry but if you can't take control of a situation such as this aged 56 then when will you be able to? Your fatty liver has been declining and getting fattier for years.
French fries for 3 weeks might make you feel a bit sluggish, but no impact on your liver.
How much alcohol have you drank over the last 35 years...? Diet, over a lifetime?
Take some responsibility for yourself.

Hah, I hadn’t notice the “I endured three weeks”.
Would you have stayed even longer if the food had been to your satisfaction, op?!
She was obviously desperate to move you on.

Are your passiveness, self esteem, confidence, extreme reaction issues solely related to this visit or do you struggle elsewhere?

Are they recent (perhaps menopause related) or have you always been this way?

She made you feel ugly so you're researching plastic surgery?

She made you food you didn't want, for three weeks, and you ate it anyway?

Sorry but you know you're allowed to live as you want as an adult and don't just have to be a passenger going along with what other people say and think?

She sounds a bit unfiltered but you're behaviour is weird, so passive. I mean, going to stay with someone for that long is always a risk. Better to book your own accommodation and just visit. Not everyone is a good host as you discovered.
But I wouldn't give her so much head space. You're blaming her for things which have nothing to do with her. A few weeks of chips won't give you fatty liver - that's years of poor diet - so sorry, but that's on you. At least your're fixing it now.
Move on. I wouldn't go and stay with her again. You live and learn.

you can 100% believe what you like but it doesn't make it true.

I don’t understand what you are talking about. You could have gone to a local store/market/grocer and got some fruit and vegetables, tinned soups etc. You could have refused to eat the chips. You could have gone to a hotel or cafe at any point. The levels of passivity it takes to sit seething eating plate after plate of chips that you do not want as an aunt insults your appearance is mind boggling.

She was incredibly rude and I think if she invited you she should have either catered for you or allowed you to use her kitchen to cook for yourself. I think this is a lesson learnt the hard way to not visit her home again and keep visits shorter if you are not sure what the welcome will be like.