Long distance relationship with a Tunisian man?

[JustCoralGoose]

In a nutshell I have been speaking to someone online from Tunisia for 4 years as great friends and recently he told me he wants to be with me and now he’s speaking about meeting me but he can’t stay for long on a holiday or visitor visa and because of his religious background he wants to marry me right away! If it weren’t for those things I wouldn’t.

Now for the longer version
I have asked him why he didn’t find a girlfriend where he lives and he did say he has dated quite a few women and I remember him mentioning he never met anyone that he really likes but he loves everything about me and my personality.
He is about the same age as me (20’s)
He doesn’t have a job but is supported by his father whilst he is studying and he hopes to get a job to do with something on the computer like coding and development although I don’t understand about things like that. I have seen some of his work and it’s too complicated for me to understand .
I’m in the middle of starting a business and have a lot going on in my life and to be honest this new relationship is taking a lot of my head space.
I’m aware there are cultural differences but I’m lying here thinking I would be off my head to marry someone I’ve only met in person once and we don’t know what it’s like to live with each other - I also don’t know if he understands the legal implications and that it would financially tie us together.
I can’t even say it is so he can obtain permission to come to this country as both him and his family want me to move to Tunisia - another conversation in itself as what about healthcare, I have a life here, and what about all my stuff like furniture because I would probably have to sell it all before I could leave.
If I (hypothetically) did my intention would be to start a business over there but I am aware that I would rely on him financially at first which I don’t want to do unless I had savings to live on.
I know nothing about the country and have never gone but from what I’ve seen it honestly doesn’t look like the kind of place I would want to live.
I have also only recently just head about the Tunisian love rat thing.
We have spoken over video call a lot and he is honestly so nice and such a kind man.
But I have not told anyone in person about the ‘relationship’ yet because I’m half worried they’ll think I need to go to a mental facility.
He has introduced me to his family over video call and they are aware he is in a ‘relationship’ with me and he can translate the languages - they speak some English but he’s hoping to teach us how to speak to each other.

A friends much older neighbour has been in a 'long distance relationship' with a famous older person, texts only. Famous person was due to stay with her. Until....the famous person died in reality that month! My friend had tried to warn her but she ignored her and verbally abused her for suggesting it was anything other than love. Until he died. She was devastated but didnt go to the funeral in the USA. My friend doesnt know how things played out after this but it obviously was all a scam.

Tunisia is a very different place culturally to the UK, being on a phone is very very very different to living with someone so very different. My advice is RUN.

You sound very naive, OP. This could only end badly.

Grooming tends to seem blindingly obvious on the outside, but very difficult to see when you are the one who's been gradually emotionally ensnared over an extended period of time and you feel a connection and loyalty to the groomer.

That's why we've seen victims of grooming gangs refusing to support prosecutions or giving evidence that their abuser is their boyfriend and they love him.

People have been marrying folks from overseas for a long time, and there are many unemployed MN husbands; so nothing special here.
Love has no barriers 🫶🏾.

Worth listening to this
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/articles/Nf7x0n5vXhyctZpBkTcN76/sweet-bobby-and-me

Sometimes these things do take place over years, and sometimes are not even about cash and passport.

Whether he is "after something" or not, you have never met him, why would you marry him at all let alone quickly?

Run for the hills!

Don’t be so ridiculous.

I thought why not

Do you usually go along with absurd suggestions from men you’ve never met?

You feel foolish because you’re being foolish.

Don't be stupid!!

They are! The tabloids and dross magazines like 'Take a Break' are full of hard luck stories of romance scams. How a lonely British man/woman was wooed by someone from [Nigeria/Morocco/Jamaica/Egypt/Tunisia/wherever] who made them feel loved and happy again after [personal tragedy of some kind after which they thought they'd never find love again]. And how they married their prince/cess and brought them to the UK and now that person has run off with all their money and left them destitute and how they never could've seen it coming, because they believed that the person really loved them, despite the alarm and warnings of their DC/friends/colleagues. The world is full of gullible people.

If you don’t want to be in a relationship then what’s the point in this thread?

You just simply have to say to him: “We’re just friends, I don’t want to be in a relationship with you”.

You’ve never even met this bloke so I’m struggling to understand what the issue is here ….

OP, imagine you had a daughter, and she is in this exact same situation. What would you tell her to do? There’s your answer.

How did you meet? It’s worrying that someone you’ve never met is taking up so much headspace :( do you have family and friends around you? He’s more than likely after a visa and/or funds

@JustCoralGoose if he was that religious he wouldn’t be marrying you. Come on now.

It’s a dump.

They get by, living on wits and brutality that everyday people in the UK cannot match.

This. X 1 million. Wake up!!!!

Absolute batshittery. Not enough facepalms in the world for this thread. Do yourself a favour, OP. 🤦‍♀️

Please don't marry this man OP. In fact block him.

I’m curious as to what business you are setting up because to have the wit to do that but the absolute lack of sense to even entertain a romance scam is quite the contrast.

Do you self sabotage your life in other ways or just this?

If you are in any way serious, you need to go to your GP and seek help because you either have severe learning difficulties or are very lonely.

No reasonable person would see this as anything othrr than a scam.

My thought just on reading the title of the post was "No." And having read the post.. also no.

Tunisia was in my experience full of men hanging around the hotel beaches for sex tourists or women who don't know their reputation for romance fraud. I didn't know how bad it was until I went there.

There were women who appeared to be travelling for the male companionship. Men as well.

Men told me they were approached for sex by other men if alone sightseeing in Tunis.

The idea of a job in coding seems a fantasy given the competition.

It's a bit like spam in a way. It costs nothing to find lonely women online and keep up a correspondence until one eventually sends money or provides a passport and escape.

Run for the hills, now.

🤣🤣🤣