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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Long distance relationship with a Tunisian man?

422 replies

JustCoralGoose · 15/03/2026 12:45

In a nutshell I have been speaking to someone online from Tunisia for 4 years as great friends and recently he told me he wants to be with me and now he’s speaking about meeting me but he can’t stay for long on a holiday or visitor visa and because of his religious background he wants to marry me right away! If it weren’t for those things I wouldn’t.

Now for the longer version
I have asked him why he didn’t find a girlfriend where he lives and he did say he has dated quite a few women and I remember him mentioning he never met anyone that he really likes but he loves everything about me and my personality.
He is about the same age as me (20’s)
He doesn’t have a job but is supported by his father whilst he is studying and he hopes to get a job to do with something on the computer like coding and development although I don’t understand about things like that. I have seen some of his work and it’s too complicated for me to understand .
I’m in the middle of starting a business and have a lot going on in my life and to be honest this new relationship is taking a lot of my head space.
I’m aware there are cultural differences but I’m lying here thinking I would be off my head to marry someone I’ve only met in person once and we don’t know what it’s like to live with each other - I also don’t know if he understands the legal implications and that it would financially tie us together.
I can’t even say it is so he can obtain permission to come to this country as both him and his family want me to move to Tunisia - another conversation in itself as what about healthcare, I have a life here, and what about all my stuff like furniture because I would probably have to sell it all before I could leave.
If I (hypothetically) did my intention would be to start a business over there but I am aware that I would rely on him financially at first which I don’t want to do unless I had savings to live on.
I know nothing about the country and have never gone but from what I’ve seen it honestly doesn’t look like the kind of place I would want to live.
I have also only recently just head about the Tunisian love rat thing.
We have spoken over video call a lot and he is honestly so nice and such a kind man.
But I have not told anyone in person about the ‘relationship’ yet because I’m half worried they’ll think I need to go to a mental facility.
He has introduced me to his family over video call and they are aware he is in a ‘relationship’ with me and he can translate the languages - they speak some English but he’s hoping to teach us how to speak to each other.

OP posts:
moofolk · 15/03/2026 12:46

Be. Very. Wary.

murasaki · 15/03/2026 12:47

0h dear, OP. He can see you coming a mile off. Stop it now, for your own sake.

MsPug · 15/03/2026 12:47

I don't even need to read it all op

dint do whatever it is he wants

thats it. Just don't

InterestedDad37 · 15/03/2026 12:48

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
He's standing in a field of red flags, waving red flags in each hand, and another red flag stuck up his bum.
Don't even think about it!

MagicMarkers · 15/03/2026 12:49

There's a website called Tunisian Love Rats. I suggest you look at that. It's a known scam. There's also a Facebook group with 2.9K members.

Don't marry him. You don't know him and he's clearly after a visa.

EmeraldDreams73 · 15/03/2026 12:49

Oh God, please please don't believe him OP.

dastardlydani · 15/03/2026 12:49

Seriously?

FoxtrotOscarFoxtrotOscar · 15/03/2026 12:49

What could possibly go wrong?

QPZM · 15/03/2026 12:49

Are you really this desperate for a man?

Sorry if that sounds harsh but you know the whole thing is ridiculous.

LeftBoobGoneRogue · 15/03/2026 12:49

This has disaster written all over it.
Run for the hills as fast as your legs will carry you.

YerMotherWasAHamster · 15/03/2026 12:50

Jesus.

TwistedWonder · 15/03/2026 12:50

I doubt this is real but on the off chance it is, sorry OP but if you continue we will see you say on the sofa of This Morning sobbing to Ben Sheoherd about losing your life savings to a married scammer

murasaki · 15/03/2026 12:51

I think someone's a bit bored on a Sunday.

dogrilla · 15/03/2026 12:51

This can't be real

MammaTo · 15/03/2026 12:51

Are people still falling for this in 2026.

Mosaic123 · 15/03/2026 12:51

Oh no.

Turn round and delete everything to do with him.

Surely you can see this is some kind of terrible scam person wanting money or a visa to live in the UK?

Going along with this is the worst thing you could ever do.

Applespearsandpeaches · 15/03/2026 12:51

So a man you’ve never actually met wants to marry you, and for you to go live with and be financially dependent on him, in a country you’ve never been to and have serious concerns about, with his family you can’t communicate with. Which possible part of that seems sensible to you?

He’s very clearly after something, whether it’s money or immigration. “Loves everything about you” - he’s never met you. Stop being so ridiculously naive and investing your time and emotion into this non-starter.

decorationday · 15/03/2026 12:52

You have been groomed.

QPZM · 15/03/2026 12:52

MammaTo · 15/03/2026 12:51

Are people still falling for this in 2026.

The thread or the scam? 🤣

WeatherChanged · 15/03/2026 12:53

Have you ever sent him any money?

JustCoralGoose · 15/03/2026 12:53

I just wanted to see what the general opinion was so I could decide what to do because I’ve got a lot going on in my life. I do have a feeling that something is wrong though I wasn’t even looking for a relationship. It’s just he recently said that he wants to be with me.

OP posts:
RosesAndHellebores · 15/03/2026 12:54

JustCoralGoose · 15/03/2026 12:53

I just wanted to see what the general opinion was so I could decide what to do because I’ve got a lot going on in my life. I do have a feeling that something is wrong though I wasn’t even looking for a relationship. It’s just he recently said that he wants to be with me.

I bet he does. For money, the right to remain and easy sex.

SpanThatWorld · 15/03/2026 12:54

This has to be one of the least plausible AIBUs I've ever read. Talk about over-egging the pudding.

WallaceinAnderland · 15/03/2026 12:55

murasaki · 15/03/2026 12:51

I think someone's a bit bored on a Sunday.

I agree

QPZM · 15/03/2026 12:55

I do have a feeling that something is wrong though I wasn’t even looking for a relationship. It’s just he recently said that he wants to be with me.

Doesn't mean you have to consider it 😳

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