Long distance relationship with a Tunisian man?

[JustCoralGoose]

In a nutshell I have been speaking to someone online from Tunisia for 4 years as great friends and recently he told me he wants to be with me and now he’s speaking about meeting me but he can’t stay for long on a holiday or visitor visa and because of his religious background he wants to marry me right away! If it weren’t for those things I wouldn’t.

Now for the longer version
I have asked him why he didn’t find a girlfriend where he lives and he did say he has dated quite a few women and I remember him mentioning he never met anyone that he really likes but he loves everything about me and my personality.
He is about the same age as me (20’s)
He doesn’t have a job but is supported by his father whilst he is studying and he hopes to get a job to do with something on the computer like coding and development although I don’t understand about things like that. I have seen some of his work and it’s too complicated for me to understand .
I’m in the middle of starting a business and have a lot going on in my life and to be honest this new relationship is taking a lot of my head space.
I’m aware there are cultural differences but I’m lying here thinking I would be off my head to marry someone I’ve only met in person once and we don’t know what it’s like to live with each other - I also don’t know if he understands the legal implications and that it would financially tie us together.
I can’t even say it is so he can obtain permission to come to this country as both him and his family want me to move to Tunisia - another conversation in itself as what about healthcare, I have a life here, and what about all my stuff like furniture because I would probably have to sell it all before I could leave.
If I (hypothetically) did my intention would be to start a business over there but I am aware that I would rely on him financially at first which I don’t want to do unless I had savings to live on.
I know nothing about the country and have never gone but from what I’ve seen it honestly doesn’t look like the kind of place I would want to live.
I have also only recently just head about the Tunisian love rat thing.
We have spoken over video call a lot and he is honestly so nice and such a kind man.
But I have not told anyone in person about the ‘relationship’ yet because I’m half worried they’ll think I need to go to a mental facility.
He has introduced me to his family over video call and they are aware he is in a ‘relationship’ with me and he can translate the languages - they speak some English but he’s hoping to teach us how to speak to each other.

I am such a nightmare for cutting off my nose to spite my face, that I’d be more than prepared to report them for a fraudulent/sham marriage.

I know that I’d also get punished for it as well, but it would be worth it to get my own back and see him fucked back off to wherever he’s from.

At the end of the day even if he is madly in love with no ill intentions, it would be a foolish thing to do wouldn’t it? Would you marry someone from Ireland if you had never met them. So just cool down on this one.

‘Yet’ is correct.

He’s hardly going to come right out with it, is he??

These people follow a script.
Love bombing.
Yep, I’m booking a flight to see you. I’m at the airport.
In a panic, says he’s been arrested and desperately needs bail money.
Or, his mum is dying and she needs ‘medicine’.
Then he needs more, and more money, for spurious reasons.

That he comes from Tunisia is irrelevant. that you were considering a permanent relationship with someone who you have never met is totally relevant.

it sounds like you’d prefer to have him just as a pen friend make that clear to him and stop all this talk about marriage.

Or I have huge wealth coming, but to release it just need you to transfer…always some unforeseen disaster… sometimes the closer to home scammers have an outward appearance of wealth (secured from other victims) and the promise of being part of that, for just a ‘little’ investment or getting them out of a situation gets folk hooked… once you give me £20k, I’ll be able to release the £1m etc and then I’ll look after you formula. Us women need to wise up to it as it’s a profession for many.

The heading “Long distance relationship with Tunisian man” should tell you all you need to know about the wisdom of this.

I seriously doubt whether this man actually is who he says he is, and the one you ‘met’ is him. ‘He’ probably doesn’t exist, and is an amalgam of different character / personality traits that have been put together so that they match your interests and goals, and so are likely to reel you in. These particular scams are usually carried out by teams of people.

If he is who he says he is (not very likely but possible), then still don’t touch with a barge pole. For all reasons covered already in this thread.

Block him on all platforms, and never communicate with him again.

Please, for the love of god, do not continue communication with this man.

Block, delete on all avenues, do the online Freedom Programme, Google dating scam approaches...

That you even gave this man a consideration is extremely concerning.

Please take on board the wealth of good advice.

Apply to 90 day fiancée and they will set it up for you .

Have you actually read the comments and seen the vote? I think it’s pretty clear what people think - I don’t understand why you still seem to be unsure.

Are you seriously still considering that this person is legit?

You’ve answered your own question, whether he’s from Tunisia, Britain or Timbuktu….
You’re not looking for a relationship.
Tell him that and move on.

Or don’t tell him anything & just block him, because he’s clearly a chancer.

Tell him you've won the lottery. His response will tell you all you need to know.

I'll add here that there is a popular Romanian comedian who tours former Communist countries in Europe. (He also does gigs in the UK and the states - he works in English.)

A lot of his material is about shared experiences in Communist Europe, but he also jokes about international romances, and the hierarchy of desirability...top of the list is being in a Schengen country, but he also jokes about romances with people from the UK and the US.

Turn your computer off.

You are not Shirley Valentine.

She has, and has taken on board the advice. Said she wasn't aware of Tunisian scammers until now but has taken on board tge advice given on this thread

I was referring to a comment that she’d written this morning, which appears to have disappeared

Wasn’t aware of Tunisian scammers? Wow.

Umm…..

Please … don’t be ridiculous, so many red flags
You are not “in a relationship” as you haven’t even met each other . Why on earth would you want to marry a stranger ?
Start reading up on romance fraud / scams .It never ends well .
Don’t ruin your life, end it now and find a real person to be with .

Not aware of Tunisian scammers ...... come on now!!

You've only just heard of Tunisian love scams? And I thought I lived a sheltered life!

The last person I knew did this, he ended up coming here illegally via Republic of Ireland, had 2 kids with her, but was physically and emotionally abusive for 4 or 5 years before finally being deported.

Every man and his dog knows this is a scam to get residency.

I’ve just read all your posts OP and the last which says he told you he doesn’t need your money. It sounds like he’s angry now that you’ve rumbled him. He thought he was being so clever, setting you up like this and making you feel such a weight of obligation. You didn’t have feelings for him anyway, he was just a pen friend so please please please tell us you have blocked him and this is over.

This young woman is only in her 20's. It's very possible she hadn't heard of Tunisian scammers.