Long distance relationship with a Tunisian man?

[JustCoralGoose]

In a nutshell I have been speaking to someone online from Tunisia for 4 years as great friends and recently he told me he wants to be with me and now he’s speaking about meeting me but he can’t stay for long on a holiday or visitor visa and because of his religious background he wants to marry me right away! If it weren’t for those things I wouldn’t.

Now for the longer version
I have asked him why he didn’t find a girlfriend where he lives and he did say he has dated quite a few women and I remember him mentioning he never met anyone that he really likes but he loves everything about me and my personality.
He is about the same age as me (20’s)
He doesn’t have a job but is supported by his father whilst he is studying and he hopes to get a job to do with something on the computer like coding and development although I don’t understand about things like that. I have seen some of his work and it’s too complicated for me to understand .
I’m in the middle of starting a business and have a lot going on in my life and to be honest this new relationship is taking a lot of my head space.
I’m aware there are cultural differences but I’m lying here thinking I would be off my head to marry someone I’ve only met in person once and we don’t know what it’s like to live with each other - I also don’t know if he understands the legal implications and that it would financially tie us together.
I can’t even say it is so he can obtain permission to come to this country as both him and his family want me to move to Tunisia - another conversation in itself as what about healthcare, I have a life here, and what about all my stuff like furniture because I would probably have to sell it all before I could leave.
If I (hypothetically) did my intention would be to start a business over there but I am aware that I would rely on him financially at first which I don’t want to do unless I had savings to live on.
I know nothing about the country and have never gone but from what I’ve seen it honestly doesn’t look like the kind of place I would want to live.
I have also only recently just head about the Tunisian love rat thing.
We have spoken over video call a lot and he is honestly so nice and such a kind man.
But I have not told anyone in person about the ‘relationship’ yet because I’m half worried they’ll think I need to go to a mental facility.
He has introduced me to his family over video call and they are aware he is in a ‘relationship’ with me and he can translate the languages - they speak some English but he’s hoping to teach us how to speak to each other.

Of course OP, he loves you, really loves you although he’s never actually met you. You are the most beautiful woman ever to him, your beauty shines through your bank balance and British Passport.

Just send him everything in your bank, get a loan out for him as well and sell your car to fund his sick cousins’s treatment. It’ll be a lot quicker and easier that way.

This can't be real can it surely?

If it is OP, back away from the internet.

How can someone know that they want to be with you when they've never even met you, honestly!

It's not a relationship. It's textbook grooming. You sound like you might be a bit vulnerable.

And you don't even have to go to Tunisia!

(Which perfectly nice, by the way, for a holiday).

An unemployed Tunisian. Is that really the height of your ambitions for a DP OP? Seriously, there are tons of unemployed men in the UK being supported by their fathers - why not one of them? At least they have the right to live here.

You’re being very naive. Just pull the plug right now because nothing good will come of this.

I was fine just being friends. I never considered being in a relationship with someone in another country.
in fact, I was not even looking for a relationship in the first place, but since we’ve been speaking for four years and he did ask me, I thought why not. He does send me a lot about his life and Vlogs it. I’ve heard about others doing that before like long distance and it’s worked out for them.
But they have been American and I’ve only just recently read about these relationship scams from Tunisia.
It’s really hard for me to work out whether or not this is a scam or a religious thing that makes it look like a scam.
I feel foolish for even considering it

https://www.channel4.com/programmes/love-cheats

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/telly_addicts/5166328-love-rats-netflix?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

How could it possibly go wrong?

Google Tunisian love rat and Tunisian bezness men - it's a career opportunity for 99% of them!

No. Just no.

Girl, he wants a passport, sorry x

My thoughts exactly!

This can’t be real…..?

because of his religious background he wants to marry me right away!

I mean this is complete bollocks in itself. Right now this man will say and do whatever it will take to get you hooked.

for reference his intentions of getting a job with coding & application development may be a struggle as AI is taking over these functions.

Have a reality check & see this as the con it is.

Romance scam

Your banks website will have information on this. Please research it and the tactics. He will probably start asking you to send him money for flights.

Also why does his "religious background" trump yours??
In your culture there is a long period of courtship and living together in modern times.

Hes playing you for a fool with a sense of urgency. Very common tactic in scams

So its been 4 years, Tunisia is onlly a plane journey away. No reason in that time for you not to have met at least once. He's grooming you !!

I'd wait for my Nigerian prince myself. He just has to get his money out of the bank.

Come to think of it, I haven't heard from him in years.

He's been playing the long game.

My friend got married and had 2 kids with a foreign woman from somewhere notorious for wanting to marry British men for citizenship. She waited it out 8 years but the truth has come out now. She wanted a visa not him and she's left him as a single dad to two children.

I suggest you watch an episode of 90 day fiance

Don't be daft. This isn't a relationship. He has spent four years getting your trust and probably also that of other women in the hope one of you marries him. Ask him how he intends to support you in Tunisia once you marry and you have children? No, don't bother with that as it's not worth the aggro.

They probably have

This can’t be real ?! No one is that gullible?

He's created false intimacy with you by talking online so now you feel like you know him, even though you don't. All you know is the persona he presents to you. Its not a relationship, it's a fantasy.

Presumably you've heard about all the other women who met men online who trafficked them, raped them, sexually abused them, financially abused them, used them as domestic slaves, murdered them.

He will have cast lines out with lots of other women.

The fact that you've gone along with this and seem to feel you need to seriously consider it rather than rejecting it makes me think you're probably vulnerable in some way.

Are you quite well, OP?