Long distance relationship with a Tunisian man?

[JustCoralGoose]

In a nutshell I have been speaking to someone online from Tunisia for 4 years as great friends and recently he told me he wants to be with me and now he’s speaking about meeting me but he can’t stay for long on a holiday or visitor visa and because of his religious background he wants to marry me right away! If it weren’t for those things I wouldn’t.

Now for the longer version
I have asked him why he didn’t find a girlfriend where he lives and he did say he has dated quite a few women and I remember him mentioning he never met anyone that he really likes but he loves everything about me and my personality.
He is about the same age as me (20’s)
He doesn’t have a job but is supported by his father whilst he is studying and he hopes to get a job to do with something on the computer like coding and development although I don’t understand about things like that. I have seen some of his work and it’s too complicated for me to understand .
I’m in the middle of starting a business and have a lot going on in my life and to be honest this new relationship is taking a lot of my head space.
I’m aware there are cultural differences but I’m lying here thinking I would be off my head to marry someone I’ve only met in person once and we don’t know what it’s like to live with each other - I also don’t know if he understands the legal implications and that it would financially tie us together.
I can’t even say it is so he can obtain permission to come to this country as both him and his family want me to move to Tunisia - another conversation in itself as what about healthcare, I have a life here, and what about all my stuff like furniture because I would probably have to sell it all before I could leave.
If I (hypothetically) did my intention would be to start a business over there but I am aware that I would rely on him financially at first which I don’t want to do unless I had savings to live on.
I know nothing about the country and have never gone but from what I’ve seen it honestly doesn’t look like the kind of place I would want to live.
I have also only recently just head about the Tunisian love rat thing.
We have spoken over video call a lot and he is honestly so nice and such a kind man.
But I have not told anyone in person about the ‘relationship’ yet because I’m half worried they’ll think I need to go to a mental facility.
He has introduced me to his family over video call and they are aware he is in a ‘relationship’ with me and he can translate the languages - they speak some English but he’s hoping to teach us how to speak to each other.

Awful. Is anything being done to actively stop it?

Plus… these catfishes lasts for years to make you fall for “true love”. They make you believe that you are everything and they really love you. In the background he must be doing the same for another 10 woman, and hoping one will fall for it.

So a man who is thousands of miles away and that you have never met wants you to move to his country?? yikes!! 🚩

I might be tempted to lie and say you’ve lost your job, are in financial trouble and see if he disappears.

You very well know the answer yourself and I am glad you do. Block him, honestly, do not give him your energy anymore. He is taking you for a ride…he might even do the same to 20 other girls at the same time. They know how to smooth talk you and can take their sweet time.
my old landlady fell for it … she converted, sent him money for his “sick daughter” and when she flew over she was brought to his home to meet his wife! She made a lucky escape.
Girl, run!!

You’re not ever gonna come across a bigger more red flag than this - don’t be so ridiculous.

If you want to end up talking to Ben and Cat on This Morning, do exactly what this man wants….
They seem to have women on their almost weekly who have fallen for exactly the same scam.
Don’t be one of those people 🙏🏻

block and delete for your own mental wellbeing.

Hopefully it’s being flagged a bit more robustly nowadays @ByZingyMauveReaderit was a while ago that I worked there. But if the judge agrées it’s a genuine marriage the bloke has the cash to support the spouse then the Government can only appeal on the basis that the law has been misapplied - it’s not generally an option to appeal the finding of facts.

You need to go to a mental facility

Oh goodness OP... young "love"...I wish it could end happily but unfortunately I'm with PP and the words "love" and "rat".

I'm hoping you're not too naive and go skipping off into the sunset with him.

Well he would say that wouldn’t he? OP you sound very vulnerable. Do you have someone in your life you can confide in about this? A parent maybe? I really think you need help. You are undoubtedly one of dozens of women this guy is talking to. He will go cold because he’s focusing on other better options.

I also don’t know if he understands the legal implications and that it would financially tie us together.

Let's be honest his dad seems to be financing him right now, and who knows if that's even true.
He's biding his time so I'm sure he'd be only to accommodating at being tied to you financially if he thought he'd be able to get his hands on your money, especially if your business takes off.

I think the derogatory “ you need to have your head tested” posts are not helpful. Low self esteem is probably one of the reasons women fall under these men’s spell so let’s try and be constructive, not insulting please.

Have you done a reverse image search on him?

Have you struggled in relationships in more traditional formats?

Yeah, I’d stay away to be honest… there are far too many stories like this that don’t end very well. It’s all ok to have a “friend” albeit men are rarely friends with women if they don’t need something from them. Are you catching feelings OP? Tunisia is a traditionalist country… I’d be tempted to play him a little to see his true intentions. Say, you’ve lost your job and financial security, there’s nothing holding you in the UK and you’d happily move to Tunisia with him. See what he says. Go from there…

You are not ‘in a relationship’. He’s an acquaintance who you chat to via an interpreter. Don’t take this any further OP 🤦‍♀️ and FGS, don’t handover any money.

DO NOT do it op.

I married an Arab in my early twenties and later found out all of his exs before me were middle aged British or American woman. He 100% married me for the visa. Soon as he was over here he did a 360. Suddenly a staunch Muslim when it pleased him.

I lived in the Gulf at the time and many of my friends married Arabs. Three are travel banned with their dc and the rest divorced.

If you have children with this man, he can take the child to an Arab country and nothing the UK courts can do to return them.

Would you agree for a baby son to undergo circumcision or a daughter to only be allowed to marry a Muslim? These are things you need to consider.

OP you sound a lovely person. Go you for not making a huge mistake. Even relationships without a culture clash are really tough. Sod that. Fact he’s gone colder tells you all you need to know. Don’t get sucked in again. Start your business and one day your older self will thank you for doing the sensible thing and walking away. Or running 🏃‍♀️…

Trust your gut, its telling you the truth. And his reaction to you questioning his motives confirms it. Let this one go and move on (without him!)

Well done on having the good sense to pay attention to your intuition. You’ve guessed already that this doesn’t seem right.

No need to add to the love rat warnings; others have explained this well.

I’ll just say something about marriage. Give yourself the chance to spend time in real life with someone before taking that step. It’s very easy to get into and very difficult to get out of. You seem lovely, with a lot going for you, so don’t let him or anyone else pressure you into doing something you’re not ready for, even if it’s painted as a romantic decision. Life is long so take time and space for yourself, and have some fun as well!, before making such a big commitment to another person.

Honestly I’m fucking baffled that someone who isn’t that interested in a relationship is actively considering a marriage proposal from a stranger!

Come on OP, wise up!

Distance yourself from him asap unless you want a broken heart and an empty bank balance.
i got involved with a Tunisian man who I met on holiday in Sousse over twenty five years ago when I was in my late twenties. The “relationship” lasted about 3 years and I visited him about 10 times within that time, then I found out he was in regular contact with German woman too. You don’t say what your Tunisian bf does for a living? If he is involved in hospitality or lives or works in tourist resort please be mega careful. It’s a known fact that most of the attractive men have multiple European girlfriends that visit at different times of the year, most them gifting cash and expensive presents. It’s like a mini business for them, most of time the family and friends are involved, it’s all part of the scam to make money and most young men have a Tunisian girlfriend or wife that is in on the scam too. The gfs/wives don’t mind as long as they are bringing in the money or maybe the opportunity to go and live in the UK or Europe. Most of the people in Tunisia live on the breadline so they will go to extreme lengths to make easy money by using foreign women. Please don’t take it personal but they have no respect for European females, they see them as “easy” because of the different culture and lifestyle. The Tunisian girls are expected to be virgins when they marry so a majority of the young men sow their wild oats with non-Muslim women until it’s time to settle down and marry a Tunisian woman that has mostly already been pre-arranged and approved by the families.

Best wishes for the future. xx

He doesn't even know you, OP. He's either raving mad or conning you. Block him!

As the saying goes.. there are more red flags than communist Russia .

This screams of a scam. Don’t do it .