What would you class as the breadwinner ?

[Freakingfurious11]

What would you class as the breadwinner ?

context I’m married (not happily) I work full time always have done. I pay 50 % to bills always have, even on maternity pay which resulted in me having to use credit cards.

I take the bigger hit financially at Christmas, birthdays, Easter, uniforms, new clothing etc.

Tonight he told my two daughters while they were out he was the breadwinner, and boasting about rich he is etc. I am furious !! He does earn more than me but I pay to the penny 50% of all bills ! I do everything in the house and life admin. I feel completely belittled and want to bring it up, however I’ll get no explanation and told I’m hysterical and hormonal 🤦‍♀️

The breadwinner is the person who pays the bills, in my opinion. My dad was the breadwinner my mum the homemaker.

It does not matter.
What matters is you are unhappy.
So do something about it

Given that you are unhappily married, I’m not sure there’s a huge benefit in getting cross about every stupid comment. I’d agree with you that in a situation where bills are paid 50/50, he is not the breadwinner despite earning more. I guess some people might say someone is a breadwinner if the family could manage on just their salary, even if they don’t have to at the moment. But like I said, I’m not sure it matters.

Often the word breadwinner is used with sole-as in ‘it was hard on Steve as he was the sole breadwinner now’. If you’re paying 50/50 on bills and house then he’s not the breadwinner.

what did your daughters say to this?

Why aren’t you splitting the bills proportionately to salary? Actually, scratch that, why are you putting up with this shit, is a better question…..

My daughters were horrified as they see themselves how much I do ! They told me once I got home !

Breadwinner equals sole earner imo.

he isn’t the breadwinner

the primary or sole income earner in a household who provides the main financial support for family members, covering essential expenses

I am the breadwinner in my house. I pay 100% of the bills. I completely support myself.

It’s an outdated term that applied to primarily men when women couldn’t earn anywhere close to men, and when women were more likely to stay at home with the kids.

your husband sounds like a prick

Yes.

DH and I both work FT, but neither of us is the ‘breadwinner’.

I’m planning to leave, I’m slowly getting things in place before I do. If he buys a gift for a birthday or Christmas and you wear it to be polite he spends the while day saying that’s nice, who bought you that 🤦‍♀️ wanting me to say him in front of others, I swear he does it to put me down !

I always thought it was the person on the higher income

Me too but significantly so.

He is an arse. Ignore and work on tour exit plan

The breadwinner is the one who earns more and therefore contributes more.

I’d say that growing up my dad was the breadwinner because he paid the mortgage, energy bills, grocery shopping etc and mum worked part time & paid for holidays, birthdays, Christmas etc.

Nowadays, DH earns about £10k more than me but neither of us could pay our bills alone. I lost a few years of career progression when DS1 was little (he has ASD & was rarely in school) and am also in a job with a definite earnings ceiling (NHS).

So at the current time, even though DH earns more, I would say we are both breadwinners as neither could cover all of the essentials alone.

The breadwinner contributes the majority to the family pot. If finances are not shared there can be no breadwinner… as he’s not feeding his family the majority of the bread.

The breadwinner is the one who provides the most for the family financially.

Your not a breadwinner if its split 50/50 even if you earn more.
.

He's a dick.

I earn a lot more than DH and we split things proportionately. We'd be ok without his salary but not without mine.

I would never, ever dream of belittling him for earning less.

I am the breadwinner as we live on my salary, DHs salary is used for savings, holidays and school fees.
10 years ago he was the breadwinner as we were living on his salary and I was on maternity leave.
Prior to that we earned similar amounts and would have been financially screwed if either of us had lost our jobs so neither of us was the breadwinner.
All of the above is by the by, your DH is being a dick!

My DH is the breadwinner because he's the only one who has got an income. But he still wouldn't tell our sons that. We are a team and he provides financially and I am the homemaker.

At least your daughters can see their dad is talking out of his arse. He sounds like a right twat and I'm happy for you that you're going to be rid of him eventually 😊

I hope you have plans in place to relieve him of some of this 'breadwinner' money, since he's so rich!

Pathetic isn’t it ! I’m glad I’m not imagining it and others agree