son becoming a chef

[marmaladejam1]

Am IBU to dissuade my year 10 son from becoming a chef. Main thing is they seem to die young, lots of drugs, terrible hours etc, also he has just tested in the top 3% of the state in Science, and I wonder if it would be a waste of his talents. Plus he is at selective high school and does very well, though does no homework.
Which is why I wonder ( as he just voluntarily made mini pavlovas) if that is where his heart lies. The pavlova were perfect. Crisp on the outside and soft in the middle. Swirled perfectly into large biscuit size. I'm off to eat another one but I do worry. The industry seems to be filled with drug use.

Also, plenty of lawyers do get screamed at by partners, and plenty of them also use drugs.

There's other food related careers. My dd wanted to be an archaeologist, did history but currently is working in a Scandinavian bakery in her city. She did a patisserie course, worked at a French patisserie, does some private commissions and is looking about for her next step. Sounds like(from the pavs) that your son might like that? Not all hospitality is like those kitchens in Antony Bourdain's book.

Plenty of drugs in big city jobs as well. He is young, you don’t need to dissuade him from anything he will probably change his mind 5 times before he is 18.

My brother is a chef. He doesn’t do drugs.

You can’t just “get a chef job” when you are 18 unless you mean microwaving lasagnes and frying batches of chips in the local pub. Proper chef jobs (even entry level) require a food related qualification.

My brother is a private chef for a very wealthy family - occasional dinner parties and catering for large groups, but mostly cooking for the parents and kids, so generally normal daytime hours and much more like cooking in your own home for pleasure. Plus he gets to go with them to the ski chalet, the villa on lake como etc.

Reasonably well paid, low stress if you work for the right family.

So it can be a great career if you find the right niche. His friends from culinary school are now variously working in restaurants, head chef at an Oxford college, catering, planning menus for a meal prep and delivery service etc, there’s a range of career paths.

At this age I’d encourage him to keep his options open. Cooking is a fantastic skill whether it becomes his career or not. Useful to also have the a-levels (or equivalent in your country) in case he decides to do something else.

I’ve worked in kitchens and it’s rough as fuck and grim. Get him a KP job and if he actually likes that and thrives, then maybe it is for him. A KP job will be a reality check and it’s something he can do alongside school. He will get screamed at, he will be around drugs, he will have long shifts, he will definitely get some kind of burn injury. Someone will come along and “well actually my head chef never yelled at us he was soo nice” and that might be true, but most of them are pretty horrible and have serious fucking anger issues.

My DS wanted to be a baker at that age , we encouraged it despite our reservations . He got a part time job in a chip shop. He's a doctor now .

I don't know what country you are in because what you say sounds a long way from my own experience of working in hospitality and that of family members.

I only worked in the industry as a student, it isn't for me, but the stress, drugs, way people speak to each other and work life balance aren't worse than in law. Different but not worse.

Two family members are chefs and various friends have been in hospitality they have worked in all kinds of environments over the years. There's something for everyone.

Female relative worked in hotels and restaurants at first, when she had a baby her employer was happy for her to work her shifts around her partner's shifts so she did dinner service when he was on earlies or days and she did lunch service when he was on nights and her days off were different to his.

When she became a single parent she got a job that was daytime only so it fit with nursery. Then she got a term time only job that enabled her to drop of at breakfast club then she was finished for the afternoon school run.

She now works as a chef not in a termtime job, doing five days a week and getting alternate weekends off. She still finishes most days at 3pm.

She can pick up additional work doing events at evenings and weekends if she wants to. She could also earn more by taking on more managerial responsibilities if she wanted to.

It is incredibly easy to find work, although not always for good money, but a chef will never be unemployed. Agency jobs pay well.

It isn't all Gordon Ramsey yelling at people! One of my friends manages a community cafe, she bakes lovely cakes and can be as creative as she likes, as well as cooking breakfast and lunch. But the most important part of her role is the community outreach side. Supporting lonely and isolated people in the community, providing a warm space and meeting opportunities. But also giving people with additional needs valuable work experience and opportunities for independence.

There are jobs in schools, care homes, retirement villages, conference centres, providing catering services to businesses, industrial catering, event catering etc it isn't just restaurants.

There are a heck of a lot of different jobs you can do as a chef. Don't limit him. Let him try it for himself.

There's a world of difference between chefs like Anthony Bourdain or Marco Pierre White, compared with Raymond Blanc or Michel Roux. The thing in common is that the hours are horrendous, the pay poor and burnout common until you reach the top. Then you can concentrate on private clients or open your own restaurant (which will likely go bust). Not a career for the weak, but the rewards can be enormous, Don't let put your son off, the same is true of most highly competitive professions, if you don't try you'll never know.

There are plenty of drugs in "academic" industries like banking, finance and law. If he becomes a chef then AI might not take his job.

Hey I just wanted to to reassure you. My son is a chef and has been for eleven years. He studied at college (he never liked school) did well and after several jobs with big companies he now works for a university. Amazing terms and conditions great pay and every other weekend off. He is getting engaged this year and the uni are helping him find a house because his fiancée works for them too. No drugs no drinking great career and prospects. He knew from the age of ten he wanted to be a chef. He basically makes 300 starters according to a recipe given to him. Has all ingredients all equipment he wants and all the staff. No worry problems or tickets coming through with pressure. He loves it. It can be a great career xx there are always jobs for chefs too.

I started in a well-known London restaurant straight from 6th form and would not recommend this career path. The shifts are long, often split, taking up the whole day. You are working antisocial hours and so the place you work become your world. Most of the people I worked with were in their early 20's, with no responsibilities, heavily into drugs, alcohol and risky behaviour. It is easy to fall into bad habits as you are in a microcosm where this all feels very normal.

As you get a little older, it can be much more difficult. You no longer want to be working every evening and weekend and the constant carousel of new kids gets tiresome. However, you're not particularly qualified for anything else, so you end up working as a school cook on minimum wage or in a retirement home producing soul destroying mush. And everyone tells you to start a catering business, without realising Tracy down the road is doing it from her home kitchen and charging half of what you can because you comply with the council and safety regulations....

He’s 10 😂😂😂

For now encourage encourage encourage. A son who’s an amazing cook - what is there not to like about that (and future DIL will thank you).

He’ll work out what to actually do as a job in a few years.

But it's not going to cost anything like a degree would and if he wants it he will actually work hard at it. Science is still open to him at a later point. But how many people with science degrees do you know actually working in a scientific field? Mostly they have all the cost of a degree and work elsewhere.

has just tested in the top 3% of the state in Science, and I wonder if it would be a waste of his talents @marmaladejam1

So much wrong with this.

His "talents" aren't a commodity for the world to plunder. Or for you to decide anything about.

Also, sounds like he's also talented in cooking, so do you only mean you are concerned about academic talents being wasted?

Do you think people are only chefs because they lack academic ability? What other roles do you judge people like this?

He's not 10, he's YEAR 10. Just had to say that as people keep reading it wrong.

This is weird I worked in kitchens for years and most chefs are not coke head druggies. Yes the hours and the work is very hard and wouldn’t be what I chose, but it’s pretty obvious there are upsides. There’s also a difference between being a ‘chef’ in a chain restaurant on the high street and training as a chef at a culinary school and going on to work in high end restaurants and private catering.

You are making the fundamental mistake that education is just about what kind of job you can get afterwards.

But it’s irrelevant if he wants to be a chef, then he needs to get proper qualifications toward that not just bumble around in pub kitchens washing pots which is all that will be available to him at 18 with no relevant qualifications (they don’t care about your a levels). It’s not a good set up for experiencing what the job actually might be like as these “chef” jobs are some of the most poorly paid positions with terrible work life balance and poor working conditions. If he’s going to do it, he should do it properly.

I wonder if the OP would be so aghast at having a chef for a son if he had a Michelin starred restaurant and a best selling recipe book? It reeks of classism and snobbery.

I have worked in kitchens & outside catering

I have friends who have retired now

They have always been foodie people

With a passion for food, they will never be out of a job & can travel the world.

I have worked split shifts, weekends, long hours. However, he can find a job with normal working hours
There is plenty of choice.

He could combine cooking & science too

I forgot to say, that the camaraderie in catering is normally good
However, as in any industry, there are choices to be made about "frienfs", drugs, alcohol.

DH was a chef & had his own small chain of restaurants. Yes, split shifts & long hours were sometimes hard for him, but he didn't become a drug addict or alcoholic. He used the time between shifts to go or a run or a swim & then went home to do a bit of housework.

I think you are thinking of the top kitchens, but there are plenty of good opportunities beyond that. My cousin's son is in house chef at a firm of solicitors for example. Mon to Fri, 8 til 4 with the occasional evening. He is well paid for it. My husband's cousin trained in patisserie, which is much less stressful as you are preparing desserts to be used later.

With catering there are so many options. You can chose what suits you. I would be supportive tbh. It is one of those careers that won't be wiped out by AI.

@Catcatcatcatcat he’s year 10

@TheDaysAreGettingLongerAtLast he’s year 10