son becoming a chef

[marmaladejam1]

Am IBU to dissuade my year 10 son from becoming a chef. Main thing is they seem to die young, lots of drugs, terrible hours etc, also he has just tested in the top 3% of the state in Science, and I wonder if it would be a waste of his talents. Plus he is at selective high school and does very well, though does no homework.
Which is why I wonder ( as he just voluntarily made mini pavlovas) if that is where his heart lies. The pavlova were perfect. Crisp on the outside and soft in the middle. Swirled perfectly into large biscuit size. I'm off to eat another one but I do worry. The industry seems to be filled with drug use.

My son started training to be a chef as he always liked cooking but I don't think he realised what hard work it can be he worked split shifts most weekends not much fun unless you are really dedicated.He was also keen on computers so he ended up doing a degree in computer science as an mature student .he got a 1st class degree he is now a software developer .So what I am saying is you never know what you really want to do in year 10 and until they actually do it they won't know if it is really for them but you can always change paths in life

Year 10 so age 14/15? Just encourage him to have a passion about something other than gaming/social media. Ensure he keeps his science subjects up - assuming he does actually enjoy science.
Chances are his mind will change - and change more than once - before he finishes school but being able to cook confidently is a life skill that he will need regardless of which career he ultimately chooses.

The person I know very well go is a chef never touched drugs, sadly yes you are right statistically it is a profession that struggles with L Phil, drugs and mental health issues (yes other jobs too but this one is known for it). Also car / life insurance is higher when your job is listed as chef as of higher chance of drink drive etc due to anti social / split shifts, culture etc. Not all chefs, but sadly more than it should be.

SORRY!!

Not L Phil, should read alcohol.

My husband is an executive chef (managing multiple restaurants/sites) which is one of the most senior roles you can get without starting your own business he earns around 80-90k which doesn’t feel that much because the hours are INSANE. You also hit a ceiling career wise at the exec role and there aren’t even that many of those roles around in the first place. The hospitality industry is such exhausting and relentless graft! I would actively try to persuade any child of mine against the industry personally. It’s not great for health or family life - my husband doesn’t drink or touch drugs and exercises a lot but you have to be really disciplined. There are definitely issues with alcohol in the industry and drugs too. Sorry this probably sounds very negative. At that young age he really wants to keep his options as open as possible.

Another parent of an ex-chef saying that you should gently encourage your child into a food related career that isn't cheffing. DS worked in a very well-known boutique hotel and was very dedicated but 12 hour days are normal, and there are definitely hazards involving drugs and alcohol.

He still loves food and cooking, but not the hours or the low pay. In an unemployment emergency, he'd do it again if his back was against a wall but not willingly.

As his head chef told him, joining an ambitious kitchen brigade is the closest you can get to joining the army without putting on a uniform.

Year 10

Your son sounds like mine! I will get him knocking on doors as a dishpig and see if he is still keen. Thanks for all the wonderful replies ( ignoring the I am a snob ones as I said one of my DC is a gardener so it's nothing to do with snobbery). I think his quiet , reserved funny personality would just not suit a fast-paced , hot , volatile workplace. When he had to choose a sport for school he picked ice-skating and badminton. This is not an aggressive child.
He is a computer whiz , but it''s so hard with AI to know which jobs are going. Anyway, at least his future wife will have a DH who is a great cook. So that's a bonus. I will mention the food science to him.

Oh and did all the people who voted I am UR actually read the thread. Story after story of being a chef being very difficult, not family friendly, full of drugs and alcohol and underpaid.

But it is up to your child what they do you can be controlling all you like it is not you doing it, a million MNers can say tie him a telgraph pole till he agrees not to do it but it means nothing, it may be better to take your own obession and work on that

My dad was a chef, yes the hours were hard but he never did drugs and was teetotal for all of my childhood. He worked in high end hotels so very long hours, fast paced and competitive. His split shifts weren’t easy but I also have good memories of spending time with him in the kitchen at home. I’m an excellent cook having been taught by my dad.

You may find your son’s relaxed personality would stand him in good stead, because he may not get drawn into the more highly strung drama that can happen. My dad was pretty laid back in many ways, loved cooking and was very good at it. A good chef will always find work - I’d not be dissuading my child from something they had a passion for.

We did read the thread - all of it actually.

The problem is you are only engaging with people who are supporting your own ideas and don’t seem open to other advice / suggestions / experiences.

I work in a corporate job - I have seen people be fired for drug and alcohol use at work. It’s everywhere.

@Pherian, the difference in the professional kitchen is that it is overlooked as long as you are technically capable, turn up for every shift and send your section's tickets on time. DC had a close friend, a brilliant senior sous chef, earning £70k on agency basis, who regularly arrived drunk from the night before and lived on coke and cigarettes, but he never sent a poor plate that let the kitchen down. A disaster in human terms, but an inspired cook. He's cleaned up his act a lot in the last year after leaving hospitality, lost 25kg and hardly drinks. But he's bored by cooking in a more ordered environment.

I havent read the full thread but I had no idea about drug use in the chef world.

I thought he was 10 as well!!

Imagining a 10 year old coked up Keith Floyd!

It can be overlooked in corporate environments as well - particularly sales.

I worked in technical roles in the past the amount of pornography tolerated on certain people devices was also overlooked.

A chef will never be out of a job

Because everyone has to eat

Not all chef work is in a high pressured kitchen. For every bit of anecdata there are hundreds of people just cooking and living a fine and happy life.

What I’d be doing is asking which bits of being a chef is he interested in. The cooking? Running a restaurant? Creating recipes?

There are lots of different sides to the food world, it’s not all drugs and being screamed at by the head chef. He might want to work in a development kitchen. He might want to be a private chef or do dinner parties.

There are many ways to work with food which he might not have thought about, but it seems a bit short-sighted to write it off without talking to him about it.

My nephew is in food. Cooking gives him joy. He’s not into drugs and he’s not somewhere where he’s bullied or screamed at. He cooks, he loves it, he earns a living. He’s currently in Europe for a month learning new stuff. His skill is one which is portable and transferable and for which there is always something new and delicious to learn.

it’s a delight to see.

Thank you @cocoatea. I said the exact same thing earlier in the thread but yet OP continues to only respond to the posts that support her narrative.
Quite frankly it's insulting.

I do understand everyone who is emphasising that there are roles outside the hurly burly of restaurant fine dining. But the reality of cooking at a high level is that the people who get jobs as private chefs and in development kitchens will usually have a lot of experience in fine dining places. MasterChef Professional contestants' careers make that fairly clear.

My DC ended up in it by accident, having done a crash course after A levels to get the skills to cook in a ski chalet and then planning to do a sailing summer job during a gap year. Dropped a CV to test it out on Thursday, had a trial shift on Friday and started on Monday. But it was a baptism by fire!

I know it's unlikely, but there is always a chance he might make a big career out of it and become a household name, I don't think the same applies to accountants, civil engineers or food technologists, nobody makes tv programmes about star actuaries. if you don't try you'll never win the jackpot.

A programme about actuaries is a no hoper, but would probably be more interesting than most of the crap on TV.

Having worked for many for many in hospitality , I’d get him to find a job as a KP in a busy kitchen and let him see for himself. Chef work is incredibly pressured, hard , skilled work.
The hours are brutal and he’ll work every bank holiday, all of Christmas, valentines, Mother’s Day etc . I’ve honestly not witnessed drug use at work but he’ll need a thick skin, calm under pressure and excellent time management . There can be lots of shouting and nastiness in the moment if a manic Sunday lunch . But everyone is friends again after service!