son becoming a chef

[marmaladejam1]

Am IBU to dissuade my year 10 son from becoming a chef. Main thing is they seem to die young, lots of drugs, terrible hours etc, also he has just tested in the top 3% of the state in Science, and I wonder if it would be a waste of his talents. Plus he is at selective high school and does very well, though does no homework.
Which is why I wonder ( as he just voluntarily made mini pavlovas) if that is where his heart lies. The pavlova were perfect. Crisp on the outside and soft in the middle. Swirled perfectly into large biscuit size. I'm off to eat another one but I do worry. The industry seems to be filled with drug use.

Oops, read that as ten years old. Wasn’t properly awake, obviously.

Plenty of drug use in other careers you’d be less snobby about

at least as a chef he isn’t at risk from AI taking his job.

There re other careers that combine science and food, for example a nutritionist

DH was a Head Chef for a long time - don’t do it!!

Massively long and inconvenient hours, poorly paid unless very senior and yes, definitely a ‘good time’ culture. Also quite hard to get out of if you do it for a long time as you don’t know much else. All great for us now but I absolutely wouldn’t recommend it.

My dd wanted to be a chef in year 10 (age 14) but changed her mind by 15 to go into engineering which she did. She’s an excellent cook, a good skill to have but her actual job is more lucrative

My partner is a exec Head Chef, earns around £8k a month does burn out though, hours long, split shifts although he can step away from that but doesn’t, he sees a lot of issues with alcohol more than drugs but can be a good career, it’s taken him around the world.

There are lots of ways of being a chef/ cooking for a living.

He could work as a private chef (incl on yachts), could offer catering for events, he could run a supper club, he could work in a community food hub type setting, he could run cookery classes, teach children about new tastes & healthy eating, he could work in a sourdough bakery (early morning starts but not split shifts), or in some other food production place, eg the sort of place that supplies cafes/ farmers market stalls, specialise in a particular process or ingredient, get into growing as well as cooking the food.... set up his own thing doing one of these, self-employed...

I am writing from experience - these are all things that I/ members of my family have one, often after starting out as teenagers in restaurant jobs....

Nothing like working in restaurants, all involve a passion for food.
Or as someone else said, there's working as a food scientist/ in a test kitchen.

Many industries are full of drug use - law, medicine. Let the lad chart his own course.

My French boyfriend years ago was a pastry chef in London. He never did drugs. He set up his own catering business in Holland.

It's not her, it's her son.

Not all kitchens are copy of 'Hell's Kitchen'.

As someone else said chefs work in a wide variety of settings, not just restaurants.

Cruise ships - long hours, not great pay but then you get a day off and you are in Jamaica.

Schools / hospitals. Hospitals annoy me because they tend to feed patients as cheaply as possible when food should be part of the treatment.

Developmental kitchens for manufacturers.

Private chef.

The community centre near me has chefs teaching cooking to families.

People will always need to eat. It is also a job you can do anywhere in the world.

My cousin trained as a chef. She's excellent and loves cooking. She hated doing it as a job though. Just be prepared that talent, skill, passion can get lost in the busy, tough reality of it. And yes, I would worry about kitchen culture. It can be an amazing career though, if he's lucky.

If he's serious, talk it through with him. I think having the personality and resilience to withstand a lot of the issues mentioned upthread should be the deciding factors.

He’s ten…

"I worry about my lawyer son but he will not be screamed at by a colleague"

Depending on where he works that is far from guaranteed! Obviously not ok in whatever profession though.

"Plus he is at selective high school and does very well, though does no homework."

This comment resonated with me as it's describing my school experience perfectly. I was clever academically and got good exams without really trying and never did homework. I also really enjoyed the science subjects as they were logical, with firm rules, rather than subjective subjects like English literature. As as aside it might be worth considering an undiagnosed neuro divergency (I recently joined team ADHD with a very late diagnosis).

I really wanted to be a chef when I was younger but was expected to go and work a "proper" job in London as that what both my parents did (even though my grandfather was a chef, he was of a time when there were no female chefs and told me I'd have to be a cook...). I spent my whole adult life doing a series of creative / crafty hobbies and I now desperately wish that I had ignored them when I was younger and followed my passion.

He obviously has a passion and skill for cooking and baking. Let him run with it - it might burn out and he'll just have a decent life skill that will help attract a partner, or he might make a career out of it. The cooking and baking definitely play to his science skills - baking is a science in itself!

If he's in yr10 I'm guessing he's around 14/15? Give it a year and suggest he tries to get a part time job in a professional kitchen as a pot boy - it's a fairly meanial role but will allow him to see how a professional kitchen runs. It's a very fast paced / high pressure environment and he might absolutely love it or hate it!

I can understand your worries about the hours / drugs / unhealthy lifestyle. But in reality lots of industries have those issues too. High Finance is rife with drinking and drugs (especially at entry level where there is a definite work hard / play hard attitude) and even the medical professionals sees higher than average smoking / "legal" drug use to get through the long shifts.

In a big restaurant you are going to work evenings and weekends. Not so good if you have a partner

I’d be more worried about the lawyer if this is something to worry about. That industry is filled with anger and drugs. As are many high pressured careers really.

I think he should keep his options open, encouraging the science as others have said. As long as he knows the hours are punishing but if he’s dedicated and obsessed. I know someone who trained in a Michelin restaurant and has a young family now.. they just make a life outside his hours.

Would training as a dietitian be a good mix of science and food ?

Science isn't in any way guaranteed to end up in a good job either though. I did a science degree and there are only two people I know who ended up in a science related job. Mine was but I was made redundant and ended up in a related field instead. Everyone says that science leads to transferable skills which it does. Unfortunately there so many with those same transferable skills that they are often useless.

My husband is a chef and never touched drugs. I’m a lawyer and neither have I but as a profession drug use is also apparently rife in some quarters.

You need to let him do what he wants. it’s his life not yours. I also have a son who’s incredibly intelligent and at university but he works part time in a restaurant and is considering that after uni. Its not what I would choose for him not least of which because the hours are rubbish but its his life and it’s probably not a bad idea to try and have a string to his bow that’s more AI proof than a lot of other areas.

He's ten.

Jesus. Your son’s legal training was clearly very different to mine!

You sound very narrow minded and prejudiced OP. Where has your knowledge of the restaurant industry actually come from?

If it's what he wants to do, tell him to do his A levels to keep options open and ger a chef job when he is 18. Saves getting into £50k or more debt for a degree he will put no effort into and come out with a low grade. He can see if he likes it for a couple of years and have the option to train in something else if he doesn't.

I went to a selective school and then to Cambridge. I am a lawyer. I enjoy my job but my heart was always in cooking and I would have loved to have become a chef. But I did what was expected of me.

Being a chef isn’t limited to working in restaurants. He could be a private chef, or start a catering company. Still hard work. If that’s his passion I’d encourage him. While still encouraging working hard at school to get good grades, because he might change his mind later and decide he wants to do something else.