son becoming a chef

[marmaladejam1]

Am IBU to dissuade my year 10 son from becoming a chef. Main thing is they seem to die young, lots of drugs, terrible hours etc, also he has just tested in the top 3% of the state in Science, and I wonder if it would be a waste of his talents. Plus he is at selective high school and does very well, though does no homework.
Which is why I wonder ( as he just voluntarily made mini pavlovas) if that is where his heart lies. The pavlova were perfect. Crisp on the outside and soft in the middle. Swirled perfectly into large biscuit size. I'm off to eat another one but I do worry. The industry seems to be filled with drug use.

My younger sister dropped out of uni and we were all worried about her as she had big issues with anxiety, friendships, was sleeping all hours and seemed to be aimlessly drifting.

Luckily a friend recommended her at the kitchen where he was a chef.

When she told us she was starting work as a KP I didn’t think she’d get through the first week!

12 months on and she’s thriving. Still in the same kitchen and now a trainee chef. Loves the buzz, the people and has had a very hierarchical, structured introduction to the world of work.

We couldn’t be more delighted.

Shorten careers? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I know chefs who have been chefs for decades. Everyone will always need chefs

I know someone who dropped out of med school to train as a chef. I'm sure her parents were delighted (🙈) but she seems happy with her choice.

As a retired Chef who worked in the hospitality industry off and on for 41 years, would never have encouraged any of my children to do it as a career. It is a very highly stressful environment with poor pay and unsociable hours.
Unless your lucky enough to become a celebrity Chef and have a social/media career along with owning your own restaurant, which is a lot harder than people think, I would forget it.

It's an extremely tough and isolating way of life so from that point of view I don't think you're being unreasonable, but if it is his passion then you just have to support him.

My son wanted to be a chef from a very young age - a weeks work experience in year 10 put him off. They had him peeling potatoes all week.
He went to uni, now works in a senior position in civil service but still loves cooking at home.

We need chefs but it is really hard work and stressful I think.

This.

I worked in restaurants for many years. Hot, stressful, high pressured, low paid environment; bullying is common; long and anti-social hours so terrible work life balance and over time lose contact with friends. And as PP said, is a factory production line, even in top restaurants.

Always a running joke in the the FOH team that all chefs were "crazy aholes", and they mused as to whether you had to be an ahole to become a chef, or being a chef turned you into one!

Not sure the drugs are any worse than any other job though. However heavy drinking is embedded. Seen many a good man/woman end up an alcoholic.

I would advise him to follow the science; that's where the future is employment wise, and better money, better hours, better for your health and ultimately more interesting.

He’s 10 years old, it’s likely he will be interested in lots of careers whilst he is a young child

Nothing to add re being a Chef but from the experience of having a Mother who interfered with what I wanted to do at same age and then spent rest of my life bowing to others for a wage I could have easily exceeded in later life let him follow his path. He is clearly talented as you proudly say, so therefore be there for him and have his back.

For the eleventy billionth time he is in YEAR 10 at school. Not 15 yet as he is the youngest in his year.

Blimey you sound like a right snob 🙄how many chefs do you know? I know many, including my husband - none of which touch cocaine lmao, there are hundreds of different ways to be a chef, some are high pressured and long hours yes, but many are not, many are incredibly well paid and rewarding. Coincidentally 2 of my children also want to work as chefs, I would never discourage them or steer them to something I felt might be better for them - they might well end up miserable in that career as they were steered away from a passion as mummy thought it was below them, that misery could well lead to drug taking 😉 maybe just listen, and be pleased your kid has found something they might enjoy!
proud wife of a non-cocaine using, well paid, happy chef

Your son is 10. He will likely change his mind.

Even he doesn't it doesn't mean he is going to be a drug addict. Allow him the freedom to choose his own career, and stop trying to control him.

I've edited because apparently he is in year 10. My response stays the same

It's always going to be hard to support your children going into an industry you don't have direct experience in.
I was lucky my parents supported me despite making the wrong choice initially, they never once said “I told you so” despite them being right.
As some others have said perhaps let them get a job in hospitality while studying to see the lie of the land?
Ironically after a 37-year career in food production engineering, that I was good at and enjoyed for the most part but with horrendous hours and pressure.
I now work part-time as a consultant in restaurant/hotel hospitality?

Over the 2 industries I would say the amount of substance abuse is similar IME

Just like Gorden Ramsey's mother said to him.
The only thing set in stone for a 10 year old is when people show negativity to their passion and push them into 'better life choices' or more accurately what they think are better life choices for the 10 year old. That negativity about their ambitions sticks with them. Leave him be. He might or might not go down the route, and if that is what he wants then good on him.
As someone who inspected kitchens for years, there are plenty of chefs who don't do drugs and plenty of kitchens that are not chaotic places of swearing and bullying. And, as per any profession, if you are exceptionally good you get suitably rewarded.

Seen your update as in year 10 and 14 years old. Same has to apply though. Negativity will be all he remembers.

This.

I see that the OP is only engaging with the negative posts that support her outdated/stereotype view of chefs and not any of the people that have provided current, first hand positive experiences. Don't support your son and see how far that gets you.

Thank you !

Chefs can’t earn good money?

Not all chefs use drugs, and people in all sorts of industries have the same issues, it’s not something that’s just limited to kitchens. I’ve been working in kitchens for 16 years and I’ve met plenty of chefs who absolutely hate drugs.

The hours can be tough and unsociable at times, but most of us do this job because we genuinely love it and have a real passion for it. Like any industry, you’ll come across the occasional harsh personality, but that’s not something that only exists in kitchens.

One of the best things about being a chef is that you’re always learning. Every day is different and you’re constantly improving and pushing yourself to be better. There’s also a lot of responsibility that comes with the job and you work hard every day to become the best version of yourself.

It wasn’t my parents’ dream for me either, but here I am 16 years later and I still love my job just as much as I did on my first day.

This industry can take you in so many different directions. It teaches you how to adapt and gives you loads of transferable skills that you can use in plenty of other careers too.

At the end of the day, the best thing you can do is support your child in what they want to do with their life. You can guide them, but it’s their journey after all. 🙂

I would gently steer him in another direction. There’s chefs and then there’s chefs, but it’s a terribly stressful career no matter where you end up.

There is a culture of heavy drinking and drugs in the hospitality industry. My brother was a chef for many years and became heavily involved with drugs and drink. He went through rehab a couple of years ago and looks unrecognisable because of his unhealthy lifestyle.

As people say, it is a choice to avoid drugs and alcohol. However, being a chef is incredibly hard work and stressful so there is more a chance of being dragged into unhealthy ways to cope with it.

Instead of discouraging your son completely from the profession, could he possibly do work experience in a variety of kitchens? Or work experience in a food related industry? Then he can find out whether it is for him or not.

Is he 10 years old?? Just kidding, thr amount of people who missed that made me laugh.
anyway, I’d discourage it too. Nothing to do with being snobby and for all the reasons you’re worried about. There is actually a shortage of chefs so they command quite good salaries but for a young lad who could get easily swayed, I wouldn’t take the risk. Lots of chefs are ethnic minorities who don’t behave like that but you never know. The drugs are the big thing here, general resilience however is another story, so you need to think about how much he has of that too. Having said that, would be an amazing skill to have!

Yikes, I’m genuinely sorry for not reading properly! I thought I had as I usually consider carefully if I’m going to comment on posts.

My son started training to be a chef as he always liked cooking but I don't think he realised what hard work it can be he worked split shifts most weekends not much fun unless you are really dedicated.He was also keen on computers so he ended up doing a degree in computer science as an mature student .he got a 1st class degree he is now a software developer .So what I am saying is you never know what you really want to do in year 10 and until they actually do it they won't know if it is really for them but you can always change paths in life