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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you want a warning?

26 replies

Orjustmoveon · 09/02/2026 15:42

If you were dating a narcissist? I want to send a warning to my ex-husband's new girlfriend they have been dating for almost a year. The attached painting was done about 13 months ago and he left it up for about four months in my opinion to torment me. it is almost time for her to meet my daughter And all he does is lie and I'm sure she doesn't know about this and thinks he's the greatest thing in the world and I am the worst. Would you want to know?

Would you want a warning?
OP posts:
beefthief · 09/02/2026 15:43

Seems mad, you should be delighted to be free of his orbit and do nothing to contact him ever again

CaffeineAndChords · 09/02/2026 15:44

Hang on- did he write that about you for you to see? Sorry, I’m a bit confused

BlueJuniper94 · 09/02/2026 15:45

I don't understand about the writing on the mirror - whose house was that in? What was it supposed to convey?

cestlavielife · 09/02/2026 15:46

You know she wont believe you right? It will just confirm what he is telling her about his crazy ex.
However...i hope you reported to police so if she does ask for a disclosure something formal is on record?
Did you report him?

toomuchfaff · 09/02/2026 15:46

Its not your responsibility to inform her decisions. If you contact her you risk feeding the narrative that you're the psycho ex who interferes and won't leave him alone, at worse could put you back in his path of vengeance.

Stay well clear.

Seawolves · 09/02/2026 15:48

He will just turn it back on you if you do send her this, it will just add fuel to his fire and reinforce the belief that you are the crazy ex.

VeterinaryCareAssistant · 09/02/2026 15:49

That mirror is terrifying and I'm not someone who is unnecessarily fearful of things.

EddieMunson · 09/02/2026 15:49

Erm, isn't that image from the Johnny Depp trial?

PiskiePenaluna · 09/02/2026 15:50

I’d want to see that.

MyMilchick · 09/02/2026 15:51

EddieMunson · 09/02/2026 15:49

Erm, isn't that image from the Johnny Depp trial?

Yep 😂 I'm so confused

Original poster
Orjustmoveon · 09/02/2026 15:52

The mirror happened because he wasn't dating anyone and he thought I was. This was after prostitutes and multiple other women. It was during a time where he wasn't talking to anyone and he just snapped. I came home. He was black out, drunk, caring for my daughter. I took my daughter and left when I came back the next morning. I saw the mirror it was in our shared home. We have since divorced. He would add to it during those months, he left it up. Finally took it down when he started talking to his current girlfriend.

OP posts:
Cankerousa · 09/02/2026 15:53

It's not usual to use 'big cock' or 'cuck' as an insult to a woman is it?

Looks more like a wannabe edgy teens media project.

MyMilchick · 09/02/2026 15:53

Orjustmoveon · 09/02/2026 15:52

The mirror happened because he wasn't dating anyone and he thought I was. This was after prostitutes and multiple other women. It was during a time where he wasn't talking to anyone and he just snapped. I came home. He was black out, drunk, caring for my daughter. I took my daughter and left when I came back the next morning. I saw the mirror it was in our shared home. We have since divorced. He would add to it during those months, he left it up. Finally took it down when he started talking to his current girlfriend.

Is Johnny Depp your ex husband?

YouAreTheCauseOfMyHeadache · 09/02/2026 15:55

EddieMunson · 09/02/2026 15:49

Erm, isn't that image from the Johnny Depp trial?

It isnt, but it is an image from reddit Jan 2025.

Original poster
Orjustmoveon · 09/02/2026 15:55

It's not the image from the Johnny Depp trial. This was the bathroom in my house. This is an original photo.

OP posts:
40andlovelife · 09/02/2026 15:55

Looks like an excerpt from Lucy Letbys notepad. You are well rid. Nah I wouldn’t get involved, he will say you did it. She will need to find out for herself unfortunately

ThePerfectWeekender · 09/02/2026 15:55

You asked reddit. What did they say?

Saltofthemoon · 09/02/2026 15:56

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

EveryKneeShallBow · 09/02/2026 15:56

What is this about? How is this picture taken in OPs house? Is OP a man? So confused.

OriginalSkang · 09/02/2026 15:58

Did you live in the house? Why didn't you clean it off?

ThePerfectWeekender · 09/02/2026 15:58

Why would you leave that up for your DC to see if it's real? Stay away. If he has diagnosed NPD you're endangering yourself and DC by angering ExDH. Leave well alone.

Original poster
Orjustmoveon · 09/02/2026 16:00

I am a female. I think these are the thoughts in his head. He claims these are things I called him, in my opinion it supports his narrative that his actions were reactive abuse. He puts cuck on there, because he thinks I was dating other people. He was crying to me during this time that he wasn't having sex.

OP posts:
Fodencat · 09/02/2026 16:01

Is he Charles Manson? I’d keep out of it. Let her find out. You’ll only come across as trying to wreck love’s young dream

Endofyear · 09/02/2026 16:29

I wouldn't warn her - she's unlikely to believe you and he's probably told her that you're his psycho/cheating/abusive ex. Stay well out of it.

BreakingBroken · 09/02/2026 17:22

I wouldn’t believe a man would have written this; big cock cuck etc. It’s confusing enough you need to explain it, it’s just not obvious.
Sadly if 12 months on I received this, I would think the sender deranged.