MIL sadly annoys me to no end

[BanksianRose]

Hello everyone,

I just wanted to get your opinion on whether or not I‘m the one being unreasonable here. Sorry for the long post. I used to get on quite well with my MIL, she always used to get involved quite a lot but I did start ignoring it and not taking it too seriously. She also always said to me that she should be allowed to voice her opinion which I found weird but ok, I guess.

But since we’ve moved back to my DH hometown and had a baby she really did turn it up a notch. She has already called me a bad mum and everytime I see her I‘m doing sth wrong or she tells me that I definitely have to do whatever she says otherwise our daughter will turn out like whatever bad example she comes up with. She also told me to go back to work and pay her so she can retire early to look after her and that she missed out on so much while her sons were little.

There are just so many other things where she wanted to be involved and I just did not want her there. I really did struggle with nausea when I was pregnant for basically the entire time and apparently there were some issues with our daughter that we had to get checked out at several specialists. But everytime we went to an ultrasound, she went on and on about how unfair it is that she will never be part of that bc she only has sons. But it was only me and my DH. And we had enough issues already. Like finding out whether or not she had a hole in her heart. Daughter is fine now though, but everytime we went to an ultrasound sth else looked suspicious and I was anxious the whole pregnancy.

She also always mentions how she will have her over all the time or that other people apparently tell her that she should be able to see our daughter everday and that I‘m mean because I don‘t visit her everyday. There have been so many other occasions as well where she belittled me and manipulated me.

It has gone so far that I only send my DH over to her with our daughter bc I just can’t look at her anymore. Even her other son and my DH say that they are proud of me for drawing a line. But I still feel bad for her bc my mum sees our daughter more often and watches her when we go out even though she lives further away. She‘s still her Granny so I don‘t know if I‘m just a bit sensitive.

Thanks everyone :)

I think your DH needs to stop hiding behind you and deal with his mother properly

I just knew you would say you'd had a child and were in his hometown. Make plans to move away again.

I bet if your DH were to speak to her she would put on the tears and play the victim, and he would feel bad for even bringing it up. At least this is my MIL. She sounds just like yours and lives near us (she came here when her DH passed away). My kids are a bit older now and my DH goes to see her every week. We hardly see her. It became too toxic. She now puts our kids down to their faces and that overstepped the line for me. When DH confronts her about her behaviour she puts on the waterworks. For the protection of myself and my kids we have come to realise we are better to create space and keep our distance, because she has become too much.