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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is this odd behaviour re Christmas lunch?

19 replies

malificent7 · 24/12/2025 16:44

We always do Christmas with my dad and his fiance, dh, dd and sdd...they are good hosts and dd loves it plus mum.is dead so it has been nice to see dad.
This year they invited another couple friend of theirs which is lovely ...but they didn't tell me. Dd told me a week ago.
Luckily the Christmas pudding I bought well in advance feeds us all....
Here is the really weird bit...the couple are immuno compromised and have multiple health conditions...i have a mild cold but dad didn't think it pertinent to warn them...i had to encourage him.as she does get very ill. and smum.had a tantrum about me having a mild sniffle.

To top it off, sdd is coming and has asd..if dd hadnt warned us the extra guests would have sent her into meltdown as she needs prior warning. Dad knows this.

I just find ot odd that they didn't think to communicate with ys re other guestx so we could plan for it ..im sure it will be lovely( but i do fing the lady quite nosy...has been in the past re my personal life).

OP posts:
malificent7 · 24/12/2025 16:53

Anyone? Is this a non issue?

OP posts:
Spenning · 24/12/2025 16:53

I voted YANBU - I feel your pain OP - imo there’s NOTHING worse than boat people !! In the past I’ve sometimes resorted to telling them deliberate lies to give them something to think about ! 🤣

Spenning · 24/12/2025 16:55

malificent7 · 24/12/2025 16:53

Anyone? Is this a non issue?

No not a non issue - I definitely sympathise on several levels -

I hate when people invite other people to a do you’re invited to — it can feel ‘disrespectful’ also -

I hate nosy people !

CarefullyCuratedFurniture · 24/12/2025 16:57

But you HAVE been told, so SDD will hopefully have time to process the change, and there is enough pudding for everyone. Its a non-issue, really. It's good to share your Christmas with others, and its very kind of your dad to invite his friends.

Celestialmoods · 24/12/2025 16:59

I think it more strange to take a child to a step grandparents on Christmas Day unless they are especially close, but as you say dd loves it without any mention of how an autistic dsd feels, I’d guess they aren’t.

BauhausOfEliott · 24/12/2025 17:23

Celestialmoods · 24/12/2025 16:59

I think it more strange to take a child to a step grandparents on Christmas Day unless they are especially close, but as you say dd loves it without any mention of how an autistic dsd feels, I’d guess they aren’t.

That’s a hell of a cognitive leap sideways

AmyDudley · 24/12/2025 17:47

Spenning · 24/12/2025 16:53

I voted YANBU - I feel your pain OP - imo there’s NOTHING worse than boat people !! In the past I’ve sometimes resorted to telling them deliberate lies to give them something to think about ! 🤣

What does this mean ? If it is typo I can't work it out, do you mean nosy people? I've only ever heard 'boat people' used as a horrible derogatory term for refugees.

PatThePenguin · 24/12/2025 17:48

You've had a week's notice.

I think it's more about you not liking the woman really.

Perhaps that's why they left it till the last minute to tell your DD to let you know.

PatThePenguin · 24/12/2025 17:49

AmyDudley · 24/12/2025 17:47

What does this mean ? If it is typo I can't work it out, do you mean nosy people? I've only ever heard 'boat people' used as a horrible derogatory term for refugees.

Yes, that had me stumped too? 😁

BadgernTheGarden · 24/12/2025 17:53

You were invited you go or don't go, no one has to tell you details of other guests, if you figure something out that's up to you.

malificent7 · 24/12/2025 18:02

Tbey don't know I don't like her.

OP posts:
ginasevern · 24/12/2025 18:07

Spenning · 24/12/2025 16:53

I voted YANBU - I feel your pain OP - imo there’s NOTHING worse than boat people !! In the past I’ve sometimes resorted to telling them deliberate lies to give them something to think about ! 🤣

You tell the boat people lies? Blimey that sounds like an interesting story, tell us more.

Spenning · 24/12/2025 18:15

AmyDudley · 24/12/2025 17:47

What does this mean ? If it is typo I can't work it out, do you mean nosy people? I've only ever heard 'boat people' used as a horrible derogatory term for refugees.

Yes very sorry the word is absolutely meant to be ‘nosey’ people not boat people - I can’t seem to edit my post -

I HATE autocorrect sometimes ! But admit I should’ve proofread my post more carefully ! That’ll teach me !

Spenning · 24/12/2025 18:16

ginasevern · 24/12/2025 18:07

You tell the boat people lies? Blimey that sounds like an interesting story, tell us more.

Sorry it’s supposed to be ‘nosey’ people not boat people - what a bizarre autocorrect!

I should’ve proofread my post more carefully !

Spenning · 24/12/2025 18:17

PatThePenguin · 24/12/2025 17:49

Yes, that had me stumped too? 😁

Yes sorry - it’s totally supposed to be ‘nosey’ people not boat - I should’ve proof read before posting!

Theslummymummy · 24/12/2025 18:33

Can't really understand the post. What's the issue, her not knowing about your cold or your child not knowing there's extra visitors?

Nothing sounds odd, so not sure of the title

ManyPigeons · 24/12/2025 19:29

malificent7 · 24/12/2025 18:02

Tbey don't know I don't like her.

Don’t like who?

AmyDudley · 24/12/2025 22:43

Spenning · 24/12/2025 18:15

Yes very sorry the word is absolutely meant to be ‘nosey’ people not boat people - I can’t seem to edit my post -

I HATE autocorrect sometimes ! But admit I should’ve proofread my post more carefully ! That’ll teach me !

No problem @Spenning 😀I thought it was probably an autocorrect but it was so bonkers I couldn't work out what ! Merry Christmas x

FitnessFad · 24/12/2025 23:47

He did tell you though? How much notice would have been acceptable ?

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