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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

For leaving my boyfriend in the frozen isle

747 replies

Sadly11 · 21/12/2025 15:27

I came to stay with him for the week to spend Christmas together (3 hours by train) Yesterday we went food shopping because he didn’t have any food in. He’s always been very clear that food shopping is super triggering for him so normally he orders online but this week he hadn’t and we were starving.

On the way he even joked that this could end badly and we might break up. Haha. Because nothing says comedy like foreshadowing your own relationship ending in the frozen isle

Anyway, we get there and he’s acting manic. He kept grabbing my chest, pulling my skirt up (not fully but still uncomfortable) he’s making gestures with his penis and making inappropriate comments, there were kids around. People noticed. Embarrassing doesn’t even cover it. I told him to stop, and he countered with loudly accusing me of being embarrassed of him which just drew more attention.

I tried to soldier on because maybe this is his coping mechanism. We’re almost done, he asks a question about which salmon we should choose. I zone out. He snaps at me, says you’re supposed to be helping, you know how hard this is for me. I remind him I have been helping but he keeps pushing. People are staring again so I say I’m not having an argument with you in the fish aisle, I will walk out if you don’t stop.

Then in the frozen aisle he snaps again at me because I said I don’t want ice cream and earlier I had said I wanted ice cream. so I just walked out. Left him there with a trolley full of food and walked back to his.
Back at his house he shuts himself away on the sofa. I went to bed alone. Today I try to talk to him, he wants to be left alone and doesn’t want to talk to me, apparently walking out was the worst thing I could have done. I abandoned him in the most triggering environment possible, what I did was shocking to him, he doesn’t want to talk to me, doesn’t want to spend Christmas with me anymore and when pushed if he wants to break up says he said he hasn’t thought about it and just wants to be left alone.
oh and it gets better, it’s my Birthday tomorrow, we had plans for him to take me to dinner, he said he won’t kick me out on my birthday (how lovely) but will continue sleeping on the sofa and I should let him know when he should drop me back off at the station.

He’s currently asleep now on the sofa. What a wonderful birthday present. He’s essentially broken up with me the day before my Birthday. I don’t know the area, it’s far too late to make any plans for either my birthday or Christmas. I don’t know when I’ll go home, I have a parcel coming to his house tomorrow morning and I’m pretty certain I’ll never be back so I think I need to stay here for that and then do the 3 hour train ride back on my Birthday, alone, to then spend Christmas alone. Plus I haven’t slept yet and my eyes are all swollen and puffy from crying so I don’t know if I fancy doing the journey back in this state.

OP posts:
Toothfairy89 · 21/12/2025 15:58

Whether he's ND or not is irrelevant, and doesn't need to be bought into the conversation

He was groping OP and gesturing with his penis, and doesn't seem to grasp he did something wrong, and now is punishing OP for not letting him SA her and humiliate her in public as much as he wants. There is no reason or excuse for that, and absolutely no justification that means OP should have to tolerate that behaviour.

RitaandtheTiarasgonewiththewind · 21/12/2025 15:58

I'm out of here on this one🙋🙋

TheYorkshirePudding · 21/12/2025 15:59

Get your parcel. Pop to M&S or Waitrose and get some lovely nibbles and a mini bottle of bubbles for your journey home. LTB.

MrsDoubtingMyself · 21/12/2025 15:59

Why are you still with this moronic cunt?

Snorlaxo · 21/12/2025 16:00

He sounds like he is ND

No he sounds like he’s on drugs or psychotic. This is an insane story and if true, you’ve had a lucky escape.

I don’t understand why you wouldn’t go to the supermarket alone or use an online service like Deliveroo for groceries if he’s that bad?

Notmyreality · 21/12/2025 16:01

What the utter fuck have I just read?

Run Forest, RUN!

Bobbedhairdontcare · 21/12/2025 16:01

He has given you the best gift of all by dumping you. Why would you want to be anywhere near that dickhead?

Sadly11 · 21/12/2025 16:01

Oops, I did mean aisle. At this stage I’d have welcomed the island.

I’ve been really thinking that I did something awful and feeling terrible about it. I even spent 4 hours cleaning his house last night to try to make it up to him when he went out (didn’t even tell me he was going out just left me here alone) I’m mental. I’ve genuinely been feeling like I did something truly awful by leaving him

OP posts:
OutOfVecnasReach · 21/12/2025 16:02
Vomit Puke GIF by The Late Late Show with James Corden

Ew he sounds vile, disgusting and abusive! how has he not given you the ‘ick’ already.
Lucky escape - go and enjoy your birthday and Christmas without him!

bigsisteriswatchingyou · 21/12/2025 16:03

Sadly11 · 21/12/2025 15:27

I came to stay with him for the week to spend Christmas together (3 hours by train) Yesterday we went food shopping because he didn’t have any food in. He’s always been very clear that food shopping is super triggering for him so normally he orders online but this week he hadn’t and we were starving.

On the way he even joked that this could end badly and we might break up. Haha. Because nothing says comedy like foreshadowing your own relationship ending in the frozen isle

Anyway, we get there and he’s acting manic. He kept grabbing my chest, pulling my skirt up (not fully but still uncomfortable) he’s making gestures with his penis and making inappropriate comments, there were kids around. People noticed. Embarrassing doesn’t even cover it. I told him to stop, and he countered with loudly accusing me of being embarrassed of him which just drew more attention.

I tried to soldier on because maybe this is his coping mechanism. We’re almost done, he asks a question about which salmon we should choose. I zone out. He snaps at me, says you’re supposed to be helping, you know how hard this is for me. I remind him I have been helping but he keeps pushing. People are staring again so I say I’m not having an argument with you in the fish aisle, I will walk out if you don’t stop.

Then in the frozen aisle he snaps again at me because I said I don’t want ice cream and earlier I had said I wanted ice cream. so I just walked out. Left him there with a trolley full of food and walked back to his.
Back at his house he shuts himself away on the sofa. I went to bed alone. Today I try to talk to him, he wants to be left alone and doesn’t want to talk to me, apparently walking out was the worst thing I could have done. I abandoned him in the most triggering environment possible, what I did was shocking to him, he doesn’t want to talk to me, doesn’t want to spend Christmas with me anymore and when pushed if he wants to break up says he said he hasn’t thought about it and just wants to be left alone.
oh and it gets better, it’s my Birthday tomorrow, we had plans for him to take me to dinner, he said he won’t kick me out on my birthday (how lovely) but will continue sleeping on the sofa and I should let him know when he should drop me back off at the station.

He’s currently asleep now on the sofa. What a wonderful birthday present. He’s essentially broken up with me the day before my Birthday. I don’t know the area, it’s far too late to make any plans for either my birthday or Christmas. I don’t know when I’ll go home, I have a parcel coming to his house tomorrow morning and I’m pretty certain I’ll never be back so I think I need to stay here for that and then do the 3 hour train ride back on my Birthday, alone, to then spend Christmas alone. Plus I haven’t slept yet and my eyes are all swollen and puffy from crying so I don’t know if I fancy doing the journey back in this state.

Save yourself. The best birthday and Christmas present to yourself is go and don’t look back …

loganrock · 21/12/2025 16:03

Give yourself the best Christmas present ever and get the hell out of there. Your boyfriend is nuts and he will make you miserable. Be brave OP.

Parsleyforme · 21/12/2025 16:04

How old is this man? He sounds about 15. If it wasn’t for the parcel I’d say him to take you to the station now, go home and have dinner with friends or family for your birthday. You will feel more comfortable alone than with the atmosphere with him currently. He sounds immature and manipulative. How long have you been together?

3beesinmybonnet · 21/12/2025 16:04

@Sadly11 go home ASAP, get some food in and some treats for your birthday and Christmas, then put your feet up and enjoy a peaceful holiday while planning 2026 without this abusive idiot.

Leave him to the polar bears.

NotForTheMoneyandNotForTheApplause · 21/12/2025 16:04

feellikeanalien · 21/12/2025 15:57

Did no-one else in the supermarket notice him dropping his trousers and waving his dick around then?

Must have been the only supermarket not full on the Sunday before Christmas

Pollqueen · 21/12/2025 16:04

Sadly11 · 21/12/2025 15:40

Word for word last message he sent me

I don’t care if I dropped my pants and helicoptered my knob in the veg aisle, you doing that was fucking shocking to me. However minor and unimportant it no doubt is to you. So I remain fuvking furious and upset, and, for the last time, shattered. Can I be left alone now

Yeah, just leave him alone and go home. He's a fucking whack job and if you have any sense at all, you'll be running for the hills

NortyElf · 21/12/2025 16:04

Go home luv. Worse to be with someone who dislikes youand behaves like that. Tell him you are going shopping and LEAVE

cantbearsed27 · 21/12/2025 16:05

Why on earth are you crying over this weirdo OP?

Honestly, just go meet someone normal who is able to do normal things, life is so much nicer and easier that way.

skyeisthelimit · 21/12/2025 16:05

OP, it's not whether he has ended it or not, but you need to end it.

Pack a bag and get the next train out of there and thank your lucky stars that it is over. Block him on all channels.

No it's not great timing with your birthday and Christmas, but this is not a man that you want a relationship with. This is a lucky escape and you are a fool if you try and fix it and stay with him.

His behaviour is gross and weird and inappapropriate. Find your self respect and walk away from it

EmeraldRoulette · 21/12/2025 16:05

What did I just read?

I can only imagine that drugs are a big factor here or something. Or major illness.

Why supermarket shopping triggering for him? Or should I say, why does he get away with claiming that?

@Sadly11 go home and never go near anyone like this again

I mean, are you both teenagers? That wouldn't be an excuse, but I'm just curious.

SeedDrill · 21/12/2025 16:05

I voted YABU because you're still there putting up with his atrocious behaviour. Run for the hills, woman, and don't look back!

AwfullyGood · 21/12/2025 16:06

You really need to wise up and leave.

You cannot stay with a man this unpredictable.

Why are you still there?

MrsDoubtingMyself · 21/12/2025 16:06

Sadly11 · 21/12/2025 16:01

Oops, I did mean aisle. At this stage I’d have welcomed the island.

I’ve been really thinking that I did something awful and feeling terrible about it. I even spent 4 hours cleaning his house last night to try to make it up to him when he went out (didn’t even tell me he was going out just left me here alone) I’m mental. I’ve genuinely been feeling like I did something truly awful by leaving him

Seriously. ....get some therapy. You've got issues if you think YOU are at fault

Enigma54 · 21/12/2025 16:06

Get on a train OP and go home. Do not give this man a second thought. What is this behaviour in the supermarket?? How old is he? Why are supermarkets “ triggering”?

Sadly11 · 21/12/2025 16:06

I see a lot of comments thinking this isn’t true unfortunately, I wish it weren’t but this is my life.
I’ve been made to feel like I’ve done something terrible to him

OP posts:
someonethatyoulovetoomuch · 21/12/2025 16:07

Yeah another person joining the chorus of “get out, get out now and never look back”. A Christmas alone, with your favourite foods, wine if you drink it and festive films on tv will be a million miles better than spending it with him. He needs help, you’re not a paid therapist so it’s not your job to provide it. Wishing you a happier 2026 x