He must fancy you

[TheOneWithTheGoat]

Does anyone else get this comment when they have any type of issue with a man? It’s really getting on my nerves.

Example: currently having an issue with a male manager at work and everyone I’m telling about it is instantly responding “oh he must fancy you”.

I had an issue with one of DH’s ex friends and instantly everyone was “he must fancy you”

I have caught MIL doing this to DD a few times and had sternly call her out on it. There was a bullying issue with a boy in her year where he was pushing her over and MIL was telling DD it was because he had a crush on her. I instantly told her off because we shouldn’t be teaching little girls that males are treating them badly because they like them.

Why is it we can’t seem to have an issue with a male being a knob without people jumping to this?

It’s never he’s threatened by your intelligence, he doesn’t like you, feels inferior to you or …. Maybe he’s just a knob. It’s always these types of comments!

Sometimes people say, oh well maybe he fancy you, is because they dont know what else to say to you.

I had a work friend like this years back, she would say the same thing over again, he this he that.
I didnt know what else to say, so just well maybe he fancy you.
We just got sick of hearing it, the constantly moaning.

Not for many years no
It is kind of a thing teenagers might say.

You must be surrounded by deeply immature people. It would not occur to me to say this - how ridiculous not to mention patronising.

Not heard “fancy” someone since I was a teenager.

Really? I mean, really? It’s still a very commonly used word.

OP, YANBU. People do say this, especially to young girls, and it’s a terrible message. It’s what makes girls put up with being treated like shit - the idea that someone who likes you might show it be being an arse to you. It’s also what makes girls respond to ‘negging’. It’s a crap thing to say.

I had a casual chat with another (female) manager about offending managers behaviour and it was the first thing out of her mouth. Very unprofessional imo

The exact same people who think they're just jealous of you when someone at work doesn't like you and they happen to be female.