To dump DP after what happened last night

[Relationshipover2]

NC’d for this. There have been some minor flags around my DP’s drinking in the past but nothing like what happened last night.

DP was on his work do in town and I was expecting him home late. I got a call about 10pm as I was getting ready for bed and it was from his phone - but when I answered it wasn’t him. It was a colleague who told me I’d need to come and pick him up because taxi’s were refusing to take him because he was covered in sick.

I went to get him, he had to be helped into my car by two colleagues propping him up. He was smashed, had been drinking since 2 on an empty stomach and was an absolute mess with sick all down his jeans.

On the drive back he was barely making sense, he kept saying he wanted to have sex and was turned on. I got him in the house after telling him to take his clothes off in the porch and set up bedding on the sofa (I’ve got a spare room but it’s an office and no bed) and left him to go to sleep.

I heard a load of crashing two hours later, he had fallen over into my coffee table (it collapsed) when walking in the dark. He then told me he had not made it to the bathroom in time and had pissed in the corner of the living room. Bullshit because the bathroom is in the other direction.

This morning he still seemed drunk and got funny with me for not ‘seeing to him’ sexually and then said he’d sort himself out and locked himself in the bathroom for ages.

He has finally sobered up this afternoon and claims he was spiked and is going to make a report to the police.

I am 99% sure that didn’t happen but does anyone think there’s any chance that’s true? I’ve never known him to get that drunk.

I know this is a serious thread but this summing-up made me laugh. Yes, it's a low bar. Hope OP has done the sensible thing now and finished with him. He sounds appalling.

Nasty and unnecessary

So, since your OP asked if you would be unreasonable to break up with him, and you’ve had a resounding answer that you should break up with him - is there any reason you haven’t done that yet and let him stay at your house until the evening after this happened and continued texting him?

He drank too much, took drugs, lied about being spiked, caused a load of drama for his colleague having to carry him around and you having to pick him up, he broke your table, he pissed on your wall and carpet and he pestered you for sex and stormed off when you wouldn’t sexually satisfy him…

You have also never mentioned any form of apology from him just a load of shit excuses.

Is this not enough??

Absolutely awful and quite tragic that you’re so invested and nasty.

@gilbertgrape5 but it is a question of self respect. In a compassionate way, OP needs to build enough respect for herself and see that she deserves a lot better than being sexually harassed and lied to and calling it a salvageable relationship. The guy has shown no remorse or self reflection meaning he doesn’t think he’s done anything wrong, hence has zero respect for her. We’re only treated as badly as we accept. I wish someone told me I was worth more.

You know very little about this relationship other than the one incident op has shared which everyone has agreed was horrendous behaviour. If she chooses to stay with him I’m sure it will be based on weighing up the rest of the relationship/his character and whether or not she feels she can give him a second chance.

People need to stop telling her she is less worthy or has low standards or needs to find her self respect if she happens to come to a decision about her own relationship that goes against the grain of this thread. She clearly has recognised how inappropriate and disgusting it all was. She isn’t stupid but it’s her life at the end of the day.

The poster who made the comment that has now been deleted wasn’t being supportive or helpful, they were being a twat. And an overly invested one at that.

It’s not a single incident he’s done this repeatedly, and coke isn’t really a two or three time thing. The danger with a lovable sexual deviant is that they confuse you so much you overlook the 1% horrendous behaviour because they can act great 99% of the time. Sexual harassment should be a deal breaker, it’s a crime and it’s completely unacceptable. If your daughter was treated like that once, would you tell her it’s ok because he’s ok the rest of the time? It’s not cool @gilbertgrape5

Once again, you have zero idea evidence that coke was involved it is all speculation and presumptions.
If myself or my dd were subject to behaviour like this I’d be disgusted. But I’d still be able to recognise that there is a vast spectrum between being drunkenly inappropriate (still completely unacceptable but generally not reflective of your real character) and an actual sexual deviant.

Look, I’m not making excuses for the guy. He behaved dreadfully but I really don’t think hounding the op for updates with the narrative of ‘have you found your self respect yet or are you still a doormat’ is particularly helpful or kind.