Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To dump DP after what happened last night

284 replies

Relationshipover2 · 13/12/2025 15:26

NC’d for this. There have been some minor flags around my DP’s drinking in the past but nothing like what happened last night.

DP was on his work do in town and I was expecting him home late. I got a call about 10pm as I was getting ready for bed and it was from his phone - but when I answered it wasn’t him. It was a colleague who told me I’d need to come and pick him up because taxi’s were refusing to take him because he was covered in sick.

I went to get him, he had to be helped into my car by two colleagues propping him up. He was smashed, had been drinking since 2 on an empty stomach and was an absolute mess with sick all down his jeans.

On the drive back he was barely making sense, he kept saying he wanted to have sex and was turned on. I got him in the house after telling him to take his clothes off in the porch and set up bedding on the sofa (I’ve got a spare room but it’s an office and no bed) and left him to go to sleep.

I heard a load of crashing two hours later, he had fallen over into my coffee table (it collapsed) when walking in the dark. He then told me he had not made it to the bathroom in time and had pissed in the corner of the living room. Bullshit because the bathroom is in the other direction.

This morning he still seemed drunk and got funny with me for not ‘seeing to him’ sexually and then said he’d sort himself out and locked himself in the bathroom for ages.

He has finally sobered up this afternoon and claims he was spiked and is going to make a report to the police.

I am 99% sure that didn’t happen but does anyone think there’s any chance that’s true? I’ve never known him to get that drunk.

OP posts:
NoisyViewer · 13/12/2025 21:24

You say there’s flags with alcohol but he has never been in this state before it seems a contradiction. I wouldn’t leave him for this alone. But the fact you’re asking may suggest you want the excuse. You have no children so I think you need to follow your heart

Original poster
Relationshipover2 · 13/12/2025 21:26

I’ve called his bluff re. the spiking by telling him if he didn’t report it then I will. He was very animated tellling me not not to do this and said he’d be in trouble if he had a blood test. He then refused to elaborate.

I told him to leave which he did so he’s gone back to his own house whilst I’m stewing on the sofa with a bottle of wine.

OP posts:
EmeraldShamrock000 · 13/12/2025 21:29

I hope you're okay.
Do not tolerate this bull-shit. He needs to seriously take accountability or go away. You'd be better off without him.

SeaShellsSanctuary1 · 13/12/2025 21:30

He doesn't want a blood test because he was doing lines in the toilets hence it all resulted in him getting wasted

Umy15r03lcha1 · 13/12/2025 21:33

Tell him you're not compatible and get rid.

I wouldn't want to be with someone who pesters about 'being seen to'.

Bleugh....

Throwaway65131 · 13/12/2025 21:40

2025VibeandThrive · 13/12/2025 15:35

Judging by some of the things I have read on here this won’t be the last time he does something like this. I would end it.

Some how responded to the wrong comment so removed my original comment so I can go and find the right one to reply to!

PinkyFlamingo · 13/12/2025 21:42

Of course he wasn't spiked!!!

Throwaway65131 · 13/12/2025 21:44

Relationshipover2 · 13/12/2025 15:35

He cleaned it, but the wall is slightly stained and so will need to see if it needs repainting. He said he will sort it. The table is beyond repair and he says he’ll order a new one.

Show quote history

My ex is incapable of accurately using the toilet even when sober and regularly pees on the floor, on the wall, and onto the back of the toilet seat where the hinges are…. I can recommend some of the spray for neutralising pet urine for ensuring you can get rid of the smell from your (hopefully now ex) partner’s pee on the walls and especially wooden skirting and your flooring.

I’m so sorry you’ve had to deal with this disrespectful man and I hope you can find the strength to lock the door behind him and change all the locks x

CryptoFascist · 13/12/2025 21:48

There you go then. It was drugs as well as drink.
You'd be a fool not to end it now.

Nevereatcardboard · 13/12/2025 21:48

I’d only stay with him if he promised to never drink another drop of alcohol again, including Christmas, New Year and his birthday. He won’t want to do this, so better to dump him before he gets another chance to damage more of your home. He’s an utter pig.

newbie202020 · 13/12/2025 21:49

SeaShellsSanctuary1 · 13/12/2025 21:30

He doesn't want a blood test because he was doing lines in the toilets hence it all resulted in him getting wasted

Was just coming on to say the same! 100% agree with this.

TheatricalLife · 13/12/2025 21:51

Well there you go. Not only is he an awful drunk and a bloody liar, he's also a drug taker. Top it off with sulking because you wouldn't "service" his revolting, pukey body, it's really a no brainer isn't it.

Littlejellyuk · 13/12/2025 22:02

Relationshipover2 · 13/12/2025 21:26

I’ve called his bluff re. the spiking by telling him if he didn’t report it then I will. He was very animated tellling me not not to do this and said he’d be in trouble if he had a blood test. He then refused to elaborate.

I told him to leave which he did so he’s gone back to his own house whilst I’m stewing on the sofa with a bottle of wine.

RUN.
He has shown you his true colours 🤢
No good can come from his antics. 👎
He's a man child who lacks responsibility and this is just the beginning. 😨
Please don't have children to this man 🙏
@Relationshipover2

Philandbill · 13/12/2025 22:06

Relationshipover2 · 13/12/2025 21:26

I’ve called his bluff re. the spiking by telling him if he didn’t report it then I will. He was very animated tellling me not not to do this and said he’d be in trouble if he had a blood test. He then refused to elaborate.

I told him to leave which he did so he’s gone back to his own house whilst I’m stewing on the sofa with a bottle of wine.

Would you consider changing the locks so he can't come back? It's good that you don't live with him. What a grim situation OP.

Thepeopleversuswork · 13/12/2025 22:09

Yeah he’s been doing drugs as well as boozing. Which is why he doesn’t want to report.

So on top of the rest of it he is also a proven liar and probably uses coke.

If you wanted an extra something to throw into the pot of awfulness you have it.

Mamascoven · 13/12/2025 22:14

Jesus christ this is the biggest ick ever. Get rid.

Bamfram · 13/12/2025 22:17

Well done.
His drink wasn't spike.
What scum, with children.
Poor kids with suchba disgusting loser for a father.

Drug taking drunk vomiting on himself and a sex pest to boot.
What a horror.

Stick your key in the door so he can't get back in.
He's a total waster.

Ohduckie · 13/12/2025 22:19

I saw this exact post around this time last year 🙄

SpinningaCompass · 13/12/2025 22:36

He wasn't spiked.

He's another arsehole who thinks alcohol is an excuse to behave poorly and it excuses all kinds of absolutely unacceptable behaviour. Like pissing in the corner of your living room and lying about it. Did he have the decency to thoroughly clean up his mess?

I used to be shocked when I saw stories like yours on MN about men getting drunk and then pissing freely in the house (on furniture, in corners, in cupboards, etc), but then I went to a comedy night out a month ago. The comedian said he'd done this himself! And then asked how many men in the room had done the same. Half a dozen hands went up! I just can't help wondering what the fuck is wrong with men. Women don't do this. They just don't.

CornishTiger · 13/12/2025 23:23

Get the replacement items and carpet cleaned at his expense. Get the walls painted. He can do that tomorrow.

Then dump mid week after coffee table ordered.

Yuk.

MooDengOfThailand · 13/12/2025 23:25

What a prize.
A man who can't manage his drink - and with a clatter of step kids in tow.

Do yourself a favour and get rid for 2026.
Right after he's got you a new coffee table.

MooDengOfThailand · 13/12/2025 23:27

Relationshipover2 · 13/12/2025 21:26

I’ve called his bluff re. the spiking by telling him if he didn’t report it then I will. He was very animated tellling me not not to do this and said he’d be in trouble if he had a blood test. He then refused to elaborate.

I told him to leave which he did so he’s gone back to his own house whilst I’m stewing on the sofa with a bottle of wine.

I take it that he was doing coke.

TokyoSushi · 13/12/2025 23:30

Absolutely grim.

If this was a once in 10 years or so situation then maybe you could get past it, but 2 years, assuming you don’t live together(?) and previous form, then I’d leave.

ChaliceinWonderland · 13/12/2025 23:31

I just feel sad for you that you even need to ask. Put boundaries in place. He is a waste of your time and effort.
Single life without him will BE SO much better. Please, you know what you have to do.

Pissing in your lounge and you have to ask ? Come on. Have some self respect.

TokyoSushi · 13/12/2025 23:31

Relationshipover2 · 13/12/2025 21:26

I’ve called his bluff re. the spiking by telling him if he didn’t report it then I will. He was very animated tellling me not not to do this and said he’d be in trouble if he had a blood test. He then refused to elaborate.

I told him to leave which he did so he’s gone back to his own house whilst I’m stewing on the sofa with a bottle of wine.

Ah, there you go, definitely end it.

Swipe left for the next trending thread