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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To dump DP after what happened last night

284 replies

Relationshipover2 · 13/12/2025 15:26

NC’d for this. There have been some minor flags around my DP’s drinking in the past but nothing like what happened last night.

DP was on his work do in town and I was expecting him home late. I got a call about 10pm as I was getting ready for bed and it was from his phone - but when I answered it wasn’t him. It was a colleague who told me I’d need to come and pick him up because taxi’s were refusing to take him because he was covered in sick.

I went to get him, he had to be helped into my car by two colleagues propping him up. He was smashed, had been drinking since 2 on an empty stomach and was an absolute mess with sick all down his jeans.

On the drive back he was barely making sense, he kept saying he wanted to have sex and was turned on. I got him in the house after telling him to take his clothes off in the porch and set up bedding on the sofa (I’ve got a spare room but it’s an office and no bed) and left him to go to sleep.

I heard a load of crashing two hours later, he had fallen over into my coffee table (it collapsed) when walking in the dark. He then told me he had not made it to the bathroom in time and had pissed in the corner of the living room. Bullshit because the bathroom is in the other direction.

This morning he still seemed drunk and got funny with me for not ‘seeing to him’ sexually and then said he’d sort himself out and locked himself in the bathroom for ages.

He has finally sobered up this afternoon and claims he was spiked and is going to make a report to the police.

I am 99% sure that didn’t happen but does anyone think there’s any chance that’s true? I’ve never known him to get that drunk.

OP posts:
WhatASmashingBlouseYouHaveOn · 13/12/2025 15:39

Has he actually apologised for any of his behaviour and causing damage? 🤔

If not, that's a big red flag. Sounds like he's drank too much before and been an embarrassment to you. If I had a crystal ball I'd say he will do this again.

ShawnaMacallister · 13/12/2025 15:39

Of course he wasn't spiked. What a dickhead. Please make this the last time you are exposed to this behaviour.

Onefortheroad25 · 13/12/2025 15:40

Has he apologized? What’s the relationship like usually?

Topseyt123 · 13/12/2025 15:41

I wouldn't put up with this, and wouldn't be sticking around for the next repeat performance either. Not sure I'd even have gone out to pick him up, but you are obviously kinder than me.

Highly unlikely that he was spiked. He's just trying to wriggle out of the hole he now finds himself in and is trying this to make you look like the baddie if you kick him out.

What are the previous red flags around his drinking? Don't minimise them.

Yes, you need to leave him, or chuck him out. It doesn't sound like you are married, so it should be relatively straightforward unless you have to sell and divvy up a property. I'd still split though.

Egglio · 13/12/2025 15:41

Spiked for what reason though? Sounds as though if someone wanted to get in his pants he would have been more than happy to oblige. Spiked my arse.

Drunk and totally remorseful in the morning doing absolutely anything to make it up to me and cleaning up his own mess/replacing the coffee table etc. then I might just take a watchful eye.

But getting up, still demanding sex, no apology and making the excuse of being spiked? Get rid.

Endofyear · 13/12/2025 15:41

Did he move into your house? I'd be telling him to leave if so - today.

CNDflag · 13/12/2025 15:42

Ick x 100000000000000000000000

Relationshipover2 · 13/12/2025 15:43

Endofyear · 13/12/2025 15:41

Did he move into your house? I'd be telling him to leave if so - today.

He has his own house, but stays with me a lot too at mine. So don’t officially live together but spend a lot of time here.

OP posts:
mumofoneAloneandwell · 13/12/2025 15:43
Steve Harvey Wow GIF by NBC

He has finally sobered up this afternoon and claims he was spiked and is going to make a report to the police.

kkloo · 13/12/2025 15:44

This morning he still seemed drunk and got funny with me for not ‘seeing to him’ sexually and then said he’d sort himself out and locked himself in the bathroom for ages.

This doesn't sound like someone who was spiked.

smallsilvercloud · 13/12/2025 15:44

I’m glad you don’t live with him, just straight forward dump and block

BennyHenny · 13/12/2025 15:44

Do you really want to be in a relationship with someone when you’re going to be on tenterhooks every time he has a drink? And not only because of the state he gets into but he turns into a sex pest (to put it mildly!)?

He’s shown you what he’s capable of more than once, I’d totally end it in your shoes. So sorry OP, you deserve better.

Isittimeformynapyet · 13/12/2025 15:45

Largestlegocollectionever · 13/12/2025 15:28

Urghhhh no way would I put up with this or get past it, yes I’d finish with someone for this behaviour as guaranteed this isn’t the first or last time!!!

You're not in a position to guarantee anything I'm afraid as this is just something you have read online.

I shall read on now to see if OP has given any more information.

GeorgeClooneyshouldhavemarriedme · 13/12/2025 15:45

He had to get carried home covered in vomit, then urinates on the floor in the living room and in the morning proceeds to demand that you have sex with his puke and piss stained body????

You know it will happen again OP.
Maybe next time he'll shit himself too....

mumofoneAloneandwell · 13/12/2025 15:46

I'd get the ick. Not only from being so fucking wasted at this age (I imagine mid 30s?) But the drink turning him into a sex pest

AwfullyGood · 13/12/2025 15:47

I wouldn't put up with this crap.

Anyine over 25 who doesn't know their tolerance for alcohilic is an absolute liability.

I wouldn't even bother explaining that a grown man who gets so shit faced that taxis refuse to take him, colleagues have to ring you, he gets covered in vomit, pisses where you shouldn't, breaks furniture and wants sex in that state, is completely unattractive and an absolute turn off.

I would be embarrased by him and distgusted - he muat have smelt so bad on top of it - sweat, stale beer, vomit and piss. Yuck.

LogicVoid · 13/12/2025 15:48

Yeah, No. Send him back to his own place. Take some space and time to think carefully about your own future.

N27 · 13/12/2025 15:49

Get rid. I had an ex who used to drink too much and piss in the wardrobe or at the end of the bed. His behaviour the day after I.e. no remorse should tell you everything you need to know

Topseyt123 · 13/12/2025 15:49

Relationshipover2 · 13/12/2025 15:43

He has his own house, but stays with me a lot too at mine. So don’t officially live together but spend a lot of time here.

Very easy split then. I'd be sending him back to his own house with instructions not to return.

If you let him stay and continue the relationship then this won't be the last you will see of this revolting behaviour.

Disgusting excuse for a man!

Muffinmam · 13/12/2025 15:52

Relationshipover2 · 13/12/2025 15:35

He cleaned it, but the wall is slightly stained and so will need to see if it needs repainting. He said he will sort it. The table is beyond repair and he says he’ll order a new one.

What an absolute loser. Dump him
as soon as he replaces the table.

MeridianB · 13/12/2025 15:53

It’s hilarious that he sees himself as some kind of irresistible studmuffin - he lies about someone spiking his drink (does he think they after his body?) and then thinks you should be keen to have sex with him and his drunken pukey disgusting body?

Swash89 · 13/12/2025 15:54

Get rid, he’s gross

dapsnotplimsolls · 13/12/2025 15:55

Send him back to his house asap and have a good think about whether you want to stay in this relationship.

TomatoSandwiches · 13/12/2025 15:56

Ending this relationship is the best Christmas present you will ever give yourself.

Purplecatshopaholic · 13/12/2025 15:58

Hmmm, I think how he responds to this incident would inform my next move. Mortified, apologetic, fixes damage, etc, I would probably give another chance if the relationship was a good one. Otherwise get rid… spiked indeed, lol.

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