Me or DH - I’m ill

[No1YouKnow]

DH has pissed me off tonight. I’ve been pretty much bed bound since Saturday with temp, chills, aching body, sore chest/throat, cough, snotty nose etc etc. Pretty sure it’s covid as it seems much worse than a cold! I’m also 11 weeks pregnant so a temperature isn’t ideal and I’ve been taking a lot of paracetamol.

1. he’s saying I’m taking too much paracetamol - I’m not - I’m not overdosing I’m taking at least 4 hours between if not a lot longer and not during the night really bar a couple of times.

2. he says I need to get fresh air - I said would you tell somebody who’s got the flu to get fresh air? I can barely move out of bed & haven’t left the house! Then he said well I mean you should try to sit outside. In November. With a temp and chills (like I’m not cold enough).

I understand he’s stressed with looking after me and the kids but am I wrong here for resting and taking the very limited drugs a pregnant woman can!!

Hope you feel better soon, he's being a total ass

Mmm , sounds like you are usually the capable one, and he’s not liking the responsibility .

Fresh air is nice, but not if you are going to freeze. More important to drink lots of fluids.

It is easily possible to take too much paracetamol. Max would be 4 doses of 2 500 mg a day. Any more is too much. But if you are within that then he’s wrong.

Hope you feel better soon.

How much paracetamol are you taking in a day?

He’s being awful here! In the exact same situation as you, been ill in bed with what feels like flu since Sunday and my DH has, without comment, just stepped up and done everything and looked after me and, now also sick, DC. I’ve just been bought soup and a hot toddy in bed. Your DH needs to up his game!!! I’m so sorry you feel rubbish I HATE being ill it’s the literal pits x

I’m taking at least 4 hours between if not a lot longer and not during the night really bar a couple of times.

How many tablets are you taking in a 24 hour period? It should be no more than 8.
It sounds like he’s trying to give you advice to help you not to be a jerk but obviously you know what you need and don’t need. Most people suggest fresh air when someone isn’t feeling great, although in November it’s not as pleasant to sit in it when you feel like crap

How is he being awful, OP said he’s looking after her and the kids

With the paracetamol it depends - are you taking more than 4 doses in a 24 hr period? If no then he’s unreasonable (although maybe he just genuinely thinks you’re taking more than that, and is just wrong). Or is he aware you’re within the dosage amounts but has listened to a bit too much RFK Jr and is worried about paracetamol and the baby?

He’s a bit mad to say you should sit outside, but I don’t think cracking a window and getting some fresh air into a properly heated room is a bad idea. Not that it will cure you or anything, it’s just nicer than a stuffy room if you’ve been in bed for a few days.

I’m not taking more than 4 lots in 24 hours (I’ve not been tracking but I don’t think I have, maybe that’s my bad, is it so bad to take an extra couple doses)
Example today it was 7am, 2pm then 7pm. My temp was 38.5 this evening & I’m really conscious as a woman in the first trimester the risks of high temps!

He is looking after me, getting me lots of fluids (tea & hot vimto as well as water) & he will get me things but usually when I ask tbh. I am trying to get some stuff when the painkillers kick in & I feel less poorly. But he’s doing school runs, he’s taking the kids to activities, and they have been playing up a bit this evening.

So I’m conflicted at how annoyed I am with him, it’s good to see a balanced range of responses tbh! The fresh air one tonight sent me a bit over the edge because I wouldn’t be in bed if I wasn’t bloody ill! It’s not a choice!

Yes. It is bad to take a ‘couple of extra doses’ of paracetamol. It’s incredibly toxic in excess.

As to fresh air, my GP used to tell me to bundle the kids up when they had croup and get them outside for a few mins to clear their noses and let the cold open their airways.

Well unless it's the early 20th century and you have TB, no you don't need to be outside. Sounds like you're doing the right thing, bed rest and periodic paracetamol. Hope you feel soon

@ShesTheAlbatross I immediately thought the same thing about the JFK link.

I think you are being unreasonable (but it's fair when you are ill and pregnant)

You aren't checking the amount of paracetamol you are taking, and him being concerned about you taking too much comes from a place of care.

Getting outside - I'm a big advocate of this, even when really poorly fresh air helps (imo)

Yes, even an extra dose in 24 hours can irreversibly damage your liver and you'll be more susceptible being pregnant as will your baby. Your approach to this is mad

If you’re not tracking the paracetamol then I don’t think that it’s unreasonable for a generally loving and caring partner to raise that you might be taking too much. It depends on the tone but if I thought that DH was maybe unaware of a daily limit and only sticking to the hourly gaps between doses, I wouldn’t really consider not mentioning it.

1 to 2 tablets unlikely to harm (NHS says) but I do get the point and should be tracking better in terms of writing it down. I’ve just clearly stated today I’ve had 3 lots.

Its just frustrating I can’t actually have anything else and I feel like total shit. its not that I’m not conscious, I'm definitely leaving 4-6 hours (& have only had overnight on two occasions) so unlikely but I may have had an extra tablet or two in a 24 hour period!

I don't think your husband is being an arse. I think he's mentioned the paracetamol out of concern for you and your baby. You need to track how much you are taking properly because you're pregnant. Too much paracetamol is not good for the liver, and it won't do much for your baby either. As for fresh air, I can see where he's coming from, but you're clearly not well enough to be sitting outside - nothing wrong with opening a window a little for some air into the room. There is a lot of nasty viruses going around at the moment, and I know the particular strain of flu this year is a horrible one. It sounds as if your husband is trying his best looking after you and the children. I hope you start feeling better soon. My husband is looking after me too, as I've fractured a bone in my foot, so he's working full-time, running the house, helping our teenage son and looking after me.

Yes, but from what you’ve said, it doesn’t sound like your DH was trying to be a dick about it.

Ah I have the same symptoms as you so I have sympathy, plus I've lost my sense of taste so I think mine might be COVID. Maybe your DH is gently trying to say it may be a good idea to get back to some sort of routine rather than being in bed? Getting up and having a hot shower can do wonders. Sometimes wallowing in it just makes you feel worse. And fresh air definetly helped me this morning walking my toddlers to nursery! Was hard, but I felt better afterwards.

Wait til it's his turn to catch it from you, then demand he go outside and nag him back.. man flu, it's even worse you know!

Feel better soon OP, hope shake it off soon.

Second this. Tell him to sod off.

No more than 4 doses of 2 tablets in any 24 hour period minimum 4 hours in-between.

Being kind here, its hard to watch people you love suffer and he may be feeling desperate.

But you would be quite right to tell him to fuck off.

I accidentally overdosed on paracetamol after an operation. I took it every 4 hours but through the night and ended up in a & e. Be careful op.

Ibuprofen is always an alternative...
Up to about 15 weeks IIRC
just eat a little beforehand

Alert: Others may advise not, and i am not a medical professional

Yes, it’s really bad for you to take extra paracetmol. How much have you taken? You should ring 111 for advice.

You can’t be blasé about paracetamol or indeed any drugs, especially when you’re pregnant. He’s not being a dick about that.

I always feel better for fresh air when I have symptoms like yours. The thought of it is awful, when it’s a struggle getting out of bed. But I always feel better for it. He’s not being a dick about this either.

I think you’re just annoyed that you’re sick while pregnant. Totally understandable. It’s the worst. But don’t take it out on him. Just tell him you’ll do a better job on the paracetamol (no more than two tablets every 6 hours, ideally not at all overnight) and that you’ll open the window for 20 minutes.