DS not home yet

[TeenMumCantSleep]

DS 17 went out last night. Texted to say he’ll be coming home after 1am.
i can see where he is on the phone tracker but he’s not answering my texts and phone is going to vm.
do i go round? He’ll be annoyed as he’ll say I can see where he is, but he has not communicated what he is doing or if he is ok.
i went round to a friend’s house in the morning a few weeks ago and he wasn’t happy with me. I knew this friend, but I don’t know whose house he is at right now.
I’m worried but also so cross at his lack of communication - he knows I will be worrying.
what would you do?

Didn't realise it was that unusual as my parents were teens in the 60's, in working class families and had phones.

Are you joking?

you were a teen in the 70s you say?

and did you mother literally have squat all where you were ever going? So she could not have, oh I don’t know when it hit the 36 hours later mark maybe pop around to where you’d said you’d be?

You were 17 in what year @cramptramp ?

That's what I find odd, like I posted my Mum was 17 in the early 60s and they were worried about the arrangements of her going over to see my Dad and coming back on the bus about 10pm (!!) as they thought my Dad she visit her at their house more, I think he had better records which they wanted to play in his room. They would go to jazz bars and nights out at 18 as belonged to different societies etc. but if she had returned from one of those nights out even at 18 they would have definitely been alerting someone, they never would have thought nothing of it until Sunday!!

Thai should read not returned not 'returned'.

It’s one of the worst times to be a parent when they’re at the age of going out at night. I have spent many nights worrying myself in the early hours. It’s such a difficult time. It was a relief to me when they moved to uni campuses and I couldn’t worry about them if I didn’t know what they were doing (one reason why I didn’t want them at uni close by enough to stay home).

Glad everything is ok.

I was a teenager in the 80s and it wasn't that uncommon and they weren't necessarily dirt poor. I remember people being concerned about call costs then. Seemed to be phoneboxes on every corner then.

In the 70s I knew some families without TVs and a couple without fridges (PIL didn't then), but that's a whole different thread!

He is 17 and you make sure he has done his homework? Good grief, that’s ridiculous. No wonder so many uni students are incapable of managing their own studies these days.

Are you for real ??
She doesn’t need to know whose house he is at !!.
As another pp has said he is 17 not 27 & it was at fuck off o clock in the morning ..
If I knew my son/ daughters location but hadn’t a notion who actually lived there & they weren’t replying to my messages , you maybe sure I’d be worried ..
Especially given the fact they could have drank too much & God knows whose house they went back to being swept along after a night out ..

Why do you want to know my exact age. I was a teenager in the 1970’s.

I’m with you on this pp , blows my mind some of the responses here being honest ..

Because I call bull shit on you having zero means to contact your mother

and this happened regularly. Your mother never said “you know what love, you’re 17 and I’m worried when you go out on a Friday and then I hear nothing from you until Sunday with no idea where you are or who you’re with. Could you give me a buzz on friend’s phone or from one of the many public phone boxes (that used to be around!)”

so from the outset you had been aghast at parents setting curfews or being worried in this situation.

You then reveal that you have full access to your son’s location.

ok

You're just talking bollocks. I am not 'aghast' at curfews, and I have never said parents shouldn't be worried. I never said parents shouldn't track either. I am aghast at the idea of a parent driving to someone's house at 4am to knock up their sleeping son because he fell asleep and forgot to text first.

Reread your own posts!

Seems pretty aghast to me 😆

we are “crazy” if we went to check where our teen son is who said he’d be back at 1am and 3 hours later… tumbleweed

am aghast at the idea of a parent driving to someone's house at 4am to knock up their sleeping son because he fell asleep and forgot to text first.

what a peculiar stance. The Op didn’t know this did she?

Like many in scotland I went to university at 17. I checked in with home once a week.

When my DS was at uni obviously I didn’t know what he was doing or where he was but that didn’t stop my rule of when at home have the common decency to let those at home know if you are staying out all night or bringing back friends - and I include myself in that rule. If I said to my dc I was going to be home by midnight and it then turned out to be a later night I would drop a text on the family group chat. It’s not about judging or tracking - to me it’s just common decency to let those at home who is in and who is out

OP when I was 17 I would go out on a Friday night, say I’d be back that night and often not return until Sunday afternoon

just a bit different

You seem to have been cruising for someone you can pick a fight with on this thread, pecking for personal info and pulling up points that aren’t relevant to the OP. I don’t know why, but you seem insistent on it to perhaps try and prove your point?

People can have different opinions, you don’t need to pick on them for it.

I haven’t accused anyone of “crazy behaviour”
🤷‍♀️

That does seem really young regardless..

When the police ran a session at school a couple of years ago on parental responsibility with regard to online safety, the officer made it clear that the police expect parents to monitor their teens’ phone use just as they expect them to know where their teens are. A parent asked what age she was referring to, and she said under 18s.

That's advice. It doesn't mean anything would happen to you in terms of legal consequences if you don't do those things.