32 yo sister just told us she is dating a 57 yo!

[Plutowe]

We are all really quite horrified

Sister is a beautiful, grammar school/oxbridge student. She really has a lot going for her.

Sister recently broke it to us that she is in a relationship with a 57 yo. Ive seen pics and don’t get me wrong he’s done very well for himself professionally but we’re not talking billionaire or anything close. It’s not a gold digging situation. He’s handsome and fit. Probably was quite a catch….10 or 20 years ago.

Sister has had a tough few years and I genuinely think she is just lonely. My sister would never date anyone who didn’t want children so I can only assume that’s something they’re considering.

I obviously know it’s sister’s life to live but I genuinely think this relationship is a manifestation of her not being that happy. Her engagement ended very abruptly a week before the wedding due to groom’s infidelity.

How can I help sister?

How do you help your sister ?

you say “Glad you have met someone, we would love to meet him” .. you then meet up, you are friendly, and you let her get on with it

Well exactly. And mature men (like a quarter century older) are not always much better than men your own age or younger men. I am hurtling towards 60, and no WAY would I go for a man in his 80s if me and DH split. Or even a man 10-15 years older. Sod that. I would want a man in his 40s/up to mid 50s.

I am fully aware that as a chubby late 50-something women, many men in that age group would very likely not be attracted to me. So for that reason, I would stay single if DH died, or we split up. Like fuck would I want a man 10+ years older, let alone 25 years older. And I would not have wanted this in my 40s or 30s either!!!

Just be supportive, meet him, maybe he's a lovely guy who makes her happy

For fucks sake she's 32 not 17. And 57 is hardly geriatric, there's a 58 year old woman in my running club who can outrun all of us and looks bloody fantastic.

Mind your own business, in short.

57 is not geriatic of course.

It is too old for a 32 year old though. In the opinion of most people.

The '58 year old woman in my running club can outrun us all and looks bloody fantastic' type of line is pure whataboutery. She is still 58, and will look it. Everyone looks their age within 4-5 years, when you look at them properly.

.

You can help by supporting her, whatever happens.

Not your biz. Likely a fling/something that will fizzle anyway give laws of probability. Im sure your heart is in the right place OP but your post is a bit naff. You sound overly concerned with wealth and status.

Not according to the poll.

No it absolutely is not.

Maybe on Mumsnet where a one year age gap is practically assault, but in the real human world where most of us actually live there's absolutely nothing wrong with two fully grown adults with fully grown brains choosing to be in a relationship.

Literally what business is it of yours what two adults choose to do? Or are you one of those women who gets her knickers in a twist when men your age date women younger than you because it makes you feel old?

*How can I help sister?” - you just keep and judgement and negativity about HER life choices to yourself. You spend time with her regularly and be interested in her.
I probably would want to make sure that my sister, or any good friend, didn’t give up on their dream of motherhood without a lot of careful thought but there isn’t really anything you can do except be a positive force in her life.

I mean my reaction is “ew, gross”.

But it’s her life / choice and she is an adult

The poll is saying the OP should mind her own business. NOT that a 25 year age gap is fine. 🙄

Well I'll be blunt but at 57 he'll have shitty sperm

Rubbish. It's not just Mumsnet. Most people in real life would be shocked/judgy at a 25 year age gap.

She should mind her own business because it's not a concern.

He never married or had kids. I'd want to know why. And be mindful if he's love bombing her and she's falling for that rather than him IYSWIM.

This. ^

Be supportive and happy for her, then be there if/when it all ends.
She’s a grown woman, and you want her to be happy.

The OP needs to mind her own because her sister is 32. But is IS a concern. I'd be mortified if my DD went for a man 25 years older. I don't believe anyone who says it wouldn't bother them.

Oh wow. Glad they found each other 🤍

I can imagine it's a shock and given you all something to think about. She's in her 30s and will do as she pleases and she's chosen him.

Have you thought of what you'd say to her? She's probably imagined the conversations you'd have about him.

This is the sort of thing I am concerned about. Sister had her eggs frozen after her last relationship blew up. She definitely wants to be a mum and was even thinking about adopting not too long ago!

She’s 32; mind your own business.

And this is your business because ...?

With all due respect why do you think she "needs your help" ?? Her life, her decisions. I see you are all horrified..but it really isn't about what you all want, is it.