Birthday party dilemma

[HayceeDeeCee]

I'm celebrating a big birthday early next year and i'm fortunate to know a wide circle of friends and acquaintances.

I'm having a party in a local venue with a very popular local band i've hired, food, etc and so far I've had over 150 acceptances with about a half of those with a plus one. Only sent out invites last week and another 100 or so yet to respond.

It has somewhat escalated with friends asking if they can bring friends, people I don't really know but perhaps in passing, at the pub or music gigs etc.

Having been to far too many funerals recently I wanted all my social circle/family/colleagues to get together whilst we are alive, not dead but i'm a bit unsure about the 'extras' that might turn up.

I'm a generous kinda soul but this feels a step too far and i'm not sure how to say no. Any advice ? I'm a massive people pleaser.

Is this a humble brag about how many friends you have? 🥴

Consider yourself invited :-)

Well now you're just adding further to your problem 😂

Lesson for next time, don't tell people about the band. And I agree that you might need bouncers with a strict guestlist in case a ton of folk just show up.

It’s not difficult to see why you have so many coming op! You sound lovely, hope you have a great party and birthday 🥳

Get some beefy cousin to stand at the door 😎

Can I bring some friends?!

Just to answer a few questions, yes there is security, it's a stand alone entrance above a bigger venue below. I can give a list of names and anyone who definitely isn't coming in.

Because of watching a lot of bands around our area and another hobby I do which involves a lot of people i've become friendly with, I've ended up with a lot of social friends (Fairly big family too)

A bit outing potentially but my DP is in the band I'm hiring (sorry, didn't mean to dripfeed) and they have a large following in our area and again, I know most of them well. This is how it's kind of escalated.

Yes there will be catering, mostly Costco but a friend is a chef and is topping up with grazing platters of Mediterranean type food.

My background is food and events related so this is all within scope.

Someone nailed it , i'm the girl who can't say no and this will be absolutely the last birthday party ever and I wanted a good turn out but not a free for all. I need to put some boundaries in place.

You've all given me some great advice, thank you 😊

I think i'm at capacity 😅😆

No, I appreciate it comes across like that but no... I'm very fortunate to have such a lovely social circle and I want to give them all a damn good party. .nothing wrong with that

Yup, my own worst enemy usually 😅

Well done, nice and assertive, now transfer that to real life. Have a fantastic party, I only about 5 friends so I’m impressed you know so many people.

I have no issues being assertive at work, it's actually my job in a roundabout way...personal life is a whole different bag of beans unfortunately.

I'm still regularly in touch with 12 or so school friends from Primary, they're all coming with partners too:-)

Just say No!! The venue may say it holds 350 but that's at max fire safety capacity, as a former wedding planner and events manager I'd estimate that with a capacity of 350 you will comfortably fit maybe 290-300, one of the venues I worked in had a capacity of 250 but if u had anymore than about 190-200 it was crowded and uncomfortable. People need space to move especially if there is a band playing and people will be up dancing because the dance floor will also eat in to your space lowering the capacity/space. If people have a plus 1 and they want to bring a friend then they need to forgo their partner.

Just thought i'd update as I've had my party and it was fabulous. Nearly 200 people came, despite losing about 20 on the day and days preceding for various reasons.

I did all food, bar a huge number of costco deli sandwiches yet there was loads left, rather too much than too little.
Despite my anxieties it was just the best celebration and I wouldn't have done it any differently.

Truly blessed to have so many awesome people in my life:-)

"Oh yes I remember meeting your friend Jimmy last year - a nice guy from what I remember!! The venue are quite strict with numbers so need to keep it at you and your other half, but let's grab a drink with Jimmy another time"

@HayceeDeeCeeJust realise d I'm a few months too late to reply! Glad to read it all went well 🙂