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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Suspicious photos on DP’s iPad

23 replies

Jenna97 · 26/09/2025 10:04

Hi ladies, I would welcome any advice on this please.

When I stay at my DP’s we use his iPad to watch Netflix etc in bed. I’m usually on it when he’s in the shower/getting ready etc too.

I was using it last night (without him there) and was on the photos app. He has an album where it’s photos of women (celebrities mainly) partially dressed. Some have clearly been screen shotted/cropped out.

I then saw a photo of one of my friends in this same album which he can only have got from her social media. It’s of her in a bikini taken from behind but I know it’s definitely her as I’ve seen the photo myself on her instagram.

I didn’t say anything last night but know I need to bring it up. He’s good with his words but I don’t really see any other explanation than thinking this is dodgy? Do you suggest I am best to bring up in person or over message/call? We aren’t seeing each other until Sunday as it stands but I really want an answer.

OP posts:

Prettychubster · 26/09/2025 10:28

He's being a perv. How would he feel if you had saved pics of his friends in a special folder. Definitely have it out with him. Does he see your friend in real life? If so that's going to always be a problem in your relationship, as you know he has saved her pics for his 'personal viewing'....

aperollingintotheweekend · 26/09/2025 10:46

Ewwww massive ick. Yeah he’s sexually attracted to your friend and god knows who else. As you don’t live together etc, I’d let this one go!

Swiftie1878 · 26/09/2025 10:47

Ewwww. He has your friend in his wank bank.
Relationship over!

Icanttakethisanymore · 26/09/2025 10:51

I think we all know the answer; "I like to look at your friend in her bikini while I have a wank." There is simply no other explanation.

You basically need to decide if this is a red line for you;
If it's not you could tell him you've seen it and you want him to delete it.
If it is then you need to break up with him.

KookyRoseCrab · 26/09/2025 10:57

I would go straight to the police with this one , yes they are all adults but no one deserves to have this going on .

APTPT · 26/09/2025 10:59

Revolting little man. Throw this one back.

notatinydancer · 26/09/2025 10:59

KookyRoseCrab · 26/09/2025 10:57

I would go straight to the police with this one , yes they are all adults but no one deserves to have this going on .

What would the police do ? It’s weird but the pictures are on social media for anyone to see. It’s a chance you take when you decide to publish pictures of yourself.

aperollingintotheweekend · 26/09/2025 11:02

Friend has a right to know though! Grim! Imagine how you would feel if this was you, I’d not expect that people I’d consider friends etc would do this.

Timeforabitofpeace · 26/09/2025 11:04

Never mind the friend, why in earth would he have a folder of any women? He’s well dodgy.

CitizenZ · 26/09/2025 11:08

KookyRoseCrab · 26/09/2025 10:57

I would go straight to the police with this one , yes they are all adults but no one deserves to have this going on .

I've heard it all now! He's having a wank looking at someone's photo posted on Social Media, it's not a crime!

Snorlaxo · 26/09/2025 11:11

You found his wank bank. I would tell your friend to block your bf as he’s a pervert and reconsider things. It’s one thing to wank over celebs but another to wank over your friends 🤮

Endofyear · 26/09/2025 11:12

Unless you're ok with him using a picture of your friend for wank fodder, you need to dump him. Massive ick 🤮

meganorks · 26/09/2025 11:15

Yeah, I'm not sure what explanation you are waiting for, because there's only one. Personally I would have to end it with someone I know is wanking over my friend!

IAmThePrettiestManOnMyIsland · 26/09/2025 11:44

Swiftie1878 · 26/09/2025 10:47

Ewwww. He has your friend in his wank bank.
Relationship over!

Yep.

PinkyFlamingo · 26/09/2025 11:46

KookyRoseCrab · 26/09/2025 10:57

I would go straight to the police with this one , yes they are all adults but no one deserves to have this going on .

It's pervy but not illegal!

hyggetyggedotorg · 26/09/2025 11:51

Swiftie1878 · 26/09/2025 10:47

Ewwww. He has your friend in his wank bank.
Relationship over!

Absolutely this.

implodi · 26/09/2025 11:53

KookyRoseCrab · 26/09/2025 10:57

I would go straight to the police with this one , yes they are all adults but no one deserves to have this going on .

OP's friend is presumably an adult not a child, so screenshotting and cropping an image of her isn't a crime. It may be unsavory, but it isn't criminal.

FaitesVosJeux · 26/09/2025 11:54

KookyRoseCrab · 26/09/2025 10:57

I would go straight to the police with this one , yes they are all adults but no one deserves to have this going on .

What I wouldn't give to be on the desk the day that complaint comes in!

KimberleyClark · 26/09/2025 11:59

notatinydancer · 26/09/2025 10:59

What would the police do ? It’s weird but the pictures are on social media for anyone to see. It’s a chance you take when you decide to publish pictures of yourself.

Show quote history

This. It’s not an offence to save photos of scantily clad women. Your DP is being a creep and you should have it out with him but he’s not doing anything illegal.

KookyRoseCrab · 26/09/2025 12:07

Yes I know it’s not criminal but I’m sure the OP will do what she needs too

Cherrycola4 · 26/09/2025 12:12

I’d never be able to look at him in the same way again. But why would he masturbate over these pictures when he could access porn?

Bobiverse · 26/09/2025 12:17

KookyRoseCrab · 26/09/2025 12:07

Yes I know it’s not criminal but I’m sure the OP will do what she needs too

She dumps him. That’s what she needs to do.

What on earth are you suggesting the police for? What is the crime? What is it you think she should tell the police? What are the police going to do? This is the most idiotic advice I’ve seen on here. A man took a screenshot of a publicly posted image… call the police! Are you actually ok?

Seabreeze18 · 06/04/2026 08:57

I can imagine a lot of men do this! They are very visual and basic and I expect he doesn’t fancy your friend necessarily but finds her body sexy? It probably does feel a bit naughty to him as well? as it’s a more tangible person than celebrities but this would make me question the relationship and give me a massive ick!!

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