Never having sex again

[user043857398]

What age were you when you realised you never wanted to be touched by a man again and saw absolutely no value in a man choosing to be with you long-term?

I'm probably quite young to have come to this conclusion and the knowledge that I'll never have a romantic connection again fills me with joy.

Friends, my children, my home, my future all take my headspace up and it's such a beautiful contrast to spending my youth chasing men and hoping they would 'choose me'. It must all have been due to societal programming. I look back and realise I was always happier when I was single and not interested in someone romantically.

That sounds like me. I loved sex when I was younger and had a lot of fun. Since 50 ish it wouldn’t bother me if I never did it again.

Try turning on your imagination. That generally wakes it up.

I hear you. This would have horrified me only about 5 years ago.

I've introspectively interrogated this within myself believe me. I'm still highly attractive to men.

It used to be a huge part of my life and I wanted a man to choose me. Now I couldn't want anything less. I love spending weekend alone when my kids are at dad's, and I love having very little to do with any men.

I wonder if it will come back but in a similar vein to your post, I am terrified that it will!

No it doesn’t.

Thankyou 😊 honestly, everyone's views on here are totally valuable, and correct, and we all have had different experiences, this whole issue for me is about our personal experiences and for me 100% was about compatability. Only regret is how many frogs 🐸 etc! Also, my husband and I are best mates too which is essential

I had a very high libido until age 50. With the menopause it died, and surprisingly I feel liberated. I have no sexual desire so therefore don’t feel I’m missing anything. I look back on the stupid nonsense I put up with from men and am relieved to have no interest in them as other than friends now. It seems all our hormonal experiences are different, but i have zero response now.

Late 20s. I have had sex sporadically since then, when the want occured. But tbh, sex bores me most of the time. However attentive the man is, whatever is going on in the sack, I get bored in like 10-15 mins. I always think just let's get this over with jeez, so we can do something ACTUALLY interesting. Go somewhere. See something worth seeing.

As for a relationship, no, I don't want that. I've had quite a few and was married before. Various men, none of them were horrid dickheads. BUT I never seen the plusses tbh, just minuses. None of the men could do anything I couldn't do myself, added anything so possitive to my life that the eternal compromises would have been worth it. And they are compromises, you're never completely free to do EXACTLY what you want. A large part of your time (at least) needs to be tailored to meet other person's needs/wants. No thank you, I prefer my own company and my way or the highway. I love myself way more than I could ever love any man, however wonderful he might be.

No, I truly believe there is no right partner @Ilovemyshed
I have had good and bad boyfriends. I dumped a really decent guy because I found the whole thing boring.
I just like parenting and working on projects that are all mine and feel like a veil is lifted that romance is puerile and not real. I know I sound bitter. I'm not though I'm just incredibly happy for the first time and I'm realising that this is why.

I'm afraid of this happening when my youngest is older @TattooStan
I'm not assuming everyone gets to this point @emilysquest squest I'm simply addressing those who do feel this way,.
Are you asexual in your view @Bippybop

@beAsensible1 sensible1 well I mean yeah because I don't want sex. But it's new! But it was always tied to finding love which I now realise I also don’t want from a man. I have love, bundles! Friends, family, children, animals. I just don’t want the romantic kind.

Totally it could happen I just hope it never does because I have never been happier than I am now @Owly11

@Outside9 de9 I know! And I totally get that this is exactly what people are going to think about me, and this is how I know it's real because I couldn't care less haha

we still,enjoy regular sex, we are in our 60s. It’s not an essential part of our relationship but it’s fun and loving. I’ve never not wanted sex. I think that’s normal as is not wanting it. It’s whatever floats your boat. It must be difficult to be in a relationship where one person wants sex and the other doesn’t.

The good old ‘are you asexual?’ questions 🤔
Because the OP is happier and more content with her man free life she mustn’t be interested in sex 🤦‍♀️
Nope, for many women life is less stressful and enjoyable without a man, if the trade off is no sex it’s 1000% worth it 🙌

I love that people still have this with their other halves. I couldn't be happier for those who are genuinely happy in a romantic partnership. Makes me feel like the world is a wonderful place.

I was 32, and honestly, my life has never been better! You’ll have a lot of people try to tell you you’re wrong, but honestly, more and more women are realising that they are happier and more fulfilled this way!

Stress incontinence, vaginal atrophy,repeated UTIs and thrush means the area is no longer a fun zone just pain and discomfort. I would love a sex life that didn’t mean pain even a vaginal examination is agony now. 😢

Well that's true of everyone. It's also true of your romantic partner and I can only imagine the toll it takes to have the person you've relied on emotionally for decades to suddenly be gone. I'm glad I'll never experience that. I do rely on my friends emotionally of course and will find it really sad when they die, a few of them are single, some are child-free.

You seem to be suggesting you will escape your friends dying?

If people are happy to not be involved with men there's no need to tell them how to 'wake up' a libido. Not wanting to have sex with men is also a valid choice and its one that more and more women are making consciously.

I still want to want it, if you see what I mean, but I just can’t be arsed anymore. I’m 42.

My vulva is also trying to destroy me so I don’t want piss it off unless I have to. I’m happy to do most things but PIV gives me tears and irritation for days afterwards.

Oh sorry to hear that. There's nothing wrong with my vagina, alas it will never again see the light of day. I get you want to want it. I don't want to want it and if I could flick a switch to ensure it never came back I would!

Good or you! <3

100% what you said. I have 4 nearly grown up children, my own house. My social life is getting better. I dabbled in OLD. The pool is very small

Bit tongue in cheek but I'm encouraging it and long may it continue.

I think it's more biology than social conditioning. You were seeking out a mate to reproduce with. You have your children now so no need for the sex. This isn't to say reproduction is the only reason for sex. Many women enjoy it who do not want children or who have been through the menopause but I'd say your situation sounds a lot more biological than social.

''There are no frigid women, only bad lovers'' - or words to that effect.

speaking as a non female (who got here by accident) and having been celibate for nigh a decade through being a carer (i'm so heroic!) i'd say not so much dead as dormant. plus, just maybe, it the fact that you don't have to space to 'amend' your ways to suit another person? sex, in itself, isn't the issue, more the fact that your pilot light may have blown out and the faff of looking, having been... on the bench... for so long just makes it an insurmountable effort to the comfort of doing what you want, when you want. but intimacy isn't always about finding a life partner... i'm not suggesting anyone goes full on sluut monster, but it's fine to look for sex or romance or just 'messing about' without giving up your life to the notion or restarting a shared life all over again. but, if you're not fussed, then fine, also. (truth be told, there IS a problem as one ages... intimacy and hemmorhoids rarely go well together (unless you really, REALLY love someone!)🙄

exactly. I can’t be the only woman who is straight but has found out in the fullness of time that men are usually disappointing (in and out of bed) and I am happier now I can afford to live just with my cats and no dickhead demanding to know why his shorts haven’t been washed and why I’m not more keen on sex with him when he gets offended at the idea of trimming his nose hair and refuses to shower first

@WhatterySquash I get what you're saying here. My standards would be incredibly high and would include aversions to porn etc. etc. etc. I do find most men pretty boring and have deep connections with interesting women and realise that it's not so with the men I've known.

But while you have 'made your peace' with never finding a man you want to be with I'm thrilled about it.

I just find it interesting as it is contrary to how I used to be but I really do wonder if that was all just forced because of an automatic assumption from society and from my subconscious that I 'should' be romantically attached.