Never having sex again

[user043857398]

What age were you when you realised you never wanted to be touched by a man again and saw absolutely no value in a man choosing to be with you long-term?

I'm probably quite young to have come to this conclusion and the knowledge that I'll never have a romantic connection again fills me with joy.

Friends, my children, my home, my future all take my headspace up and it's such a beautiful contrast to spending my youth chasing men and hoping they would 'choose me'. It must all have been due to societal programming. I look back and realise I was always happier when I was single and not interested in someone romantically.

I honestly hope I never get to this point! I'm heading towards late 40s. It's still a big important part of my life. Romance, intimacy, cuddling, sex...it adds a lot to my life.

Do you think you may be asexual OP or are you just choosing celibacy?

33. My sex drive has been dead in the water for years.

I’m 47, nearly 48 and haven’t had sex in about 6 years despite living with someone!
tbh now it’s been this long I can think of nothing worse and on reflection, I don’t think I like sex very much but that’s probably due to the crappy sex I’ve had as I do very much enjoy other stuff and am very much attracted to men still.

I get what you’re saying though as I sort of have an acceptance that this is my life and there’s no pressure on me whatsoever. I love romance and stuff and am fiercely independent but dont “need” a man for anything.

I think you haven’t found the right partner. I’m 55 and never want to stop.

My sex drive is through the roof since I turned 40! I think about it and want it constantly, its quite an affliction!

It certainly wouldn't be top of my list to find another partner if my husband wasn't in the picture anymore and I'd be very happy in life without a romantic partner. I'm not sure I've ever felt that drive to pursue men in that way though. I never had that many boyfriends and have always been very happy pursuing my own interests and life.

I do however really enjoy sex (im 33) still find people attractive so currently I'd be interested in keeping that part of my life going buts it not all consuming.
Realistically I don't meet many men I'd be remotely interested in. I'd be more likely to try to pursue women. I really value my time and so many men would be an absolute waste of time to me. I certainly find older women more attractive than older men. Does seem to be a trend that men don't look after themselves.

Mid 40s.

Was different before as I knew I wanted to be a mum.

Now I'd quite happily sew it shut. I've found my peace.

I'm over 60 and I get recurrent UTIs. I get a UTI if I even think about having sex, so it looks like that's it for this lifetime. To be honest, I'm not really sad. I liked it ok when I was younger but I don't miss it now. My current partner isn't particularly interested either, it all falls a bit by the wayside as one ages - sad but true. Have loads of sex when you're younger would be my advice.

My brother asked me if I was seeing anyone recently. I am not the type for hook-ups but my marriage ended two years ago and to be honest, after all the terrible things that went on within it, I have put the walls up somewhat. Also, perimenopause (possibly menopause, I’m waiting to see what surprises my body gets up to next). I do want a partner, but at the same time, not. Any man who likes me is going to have to be bloody special for me to let him be intimate with me, put it that way.

What do you mean "what age were you? That presupposes that everyone gets to a point where they feel like that, some do, some don't. I am 62 and have sex regularly. Hopefully to continue doing so. No judgement on people who feel differently.

I hope I never reach this point! I don’t want to imagine a life without it.

I completely lost my sex drive around the menopause but, now that’s past, I’m still very much enjoying it and I’m 56.

Ive never been in to sex and if i never have it again it wlont bother me.
Ive been single 12 years.

I’m 43 and have no plans to stop any time soon! My husband has a vasectomy last year so that’s made things even more fun not having to worry about unwanted pregnancy etc.

That strikes me a similar to men telling gay women they just need a good seeing to!

To me its all about the right partner. Its taken me until I met my now husband 8 years ago to find the right one. I've never been uninterested in sex but definitely put off by incompatible partners. My first marriage was 20 years and was a sexual desert after the first couple of years. I'm now 50 and my husband is 62 and we have an incredible time..I think there are a lot of factors involved its not a simple issue.

After 8 years of enforced celibacy due to my DH who is a chronic alcoholic dying of alcoholic dementia.. I have a lover. In my mid 60s and have never had such passionate fabulous sex. I never want to stop. It helps me get through the rest of the crap.

Are you asexual?

I haven’t and hope to never get to that point. Sex is fun. The in between bits are fun. Arousal and flirting and butterflies are fun. Have a crush and daydreaming about them is fun! I love a bit of romance.

god forbid honestly.

Never I hope!

Ha ha. Me too.

Might be a bit painful though!

Agree with @emilysquest. I've voted YABU, not because you're unreasonable to have decided that's it for you and find peace and happiness with what you have. But it's the supposition that all of us will eventually lose the desire...

I was single for 10 years and missed sex dreadfully for a few years but then became resigned and actually didnt care as much as I expected to. I then met my bf and the desire is back with a vengeance and I hope it doesn't leave as it brings so much joy and pleasure to my life.

I think we adapt to our circumstances and so do our desires and wants. I'm not saying 'never say never, bet you'd want it if it was Brad Pitt' as you know your own mind very well. I'm just saying it's not inevitable and for many, many people it remains a hugely important and valued part of their lives.

How you feel now is exactly that - how you feel now. It’s unlikely your feelings will stay the same your whole life. If you fall in love again at some point in the future it may become something you love and value again. Why don’t you enjoy your life for now but stay open to whatever the future brings.

I hope to never get to an age where having sex and being touched by my husband is repulsive to me. What an utterly depressing thought.

I was 19 when I was sure. I suspected before that. Now that asexuality is actually a known thing I know I'm not weird.

I’m 28 and feel the same way.

Every ex has cheated or been a user. I used to have a high sex drive but this has completely disappeared. Come to think of it, I no longer feel sexually attracted to men. I don’t feel sexually attracted to woman either so definitely not bisexual.