Never having sex again

[user043857398]

What age were you when you realised you never wanted to be touched by a man again and saw absolutely no value in a man choosing to be with you long-term?

I'm probably quite young to have come to this conclusion and the knowledge that I'll never have a romantic connection again fills me with joy.

Friends, my children, my home, my future all take my headspace up and it's such a beautiful contrast to spending my youth chasing men and hoping they would 'choose me'. It must all have been due to societal programming. I look back and realise I was always happier when I was single and not interested in someone romantically.

I'm 41, married with 2 young kids. I have no time for sex. The last time we were able to was when we both had a day off several weeks ago. I'm not too bothered by it though.

It’s so lazy and ignorant to say “you haven’t found the right person yet”.

Im 60 and have been with dh for nearly 40 years, had a very active and satisfying sex life for most of that time. The last year I would not care a jot if I never have sex again! I love my dh to bits, we hold hands when out and about, we cuddle on the sofa, he rubs my feet etc etc but I do not want sex with him or any other person. We have talked a lot about this situation and dh has told me he accepts it and loves me.
We’re busy at the moment looking forward to our retirement next year- travelling together, hobbies etc etc.

I think it’s healthy to go through periods of being single and not making bad choices purely because you’re desperate for sex.

But I don’t think you should swear men or sex off for life.

Just be happy being single for right now and in a few months or years you may decide you would like to have a proper relationship or have a friends with benefits type situation.
Or you may choose to never have a relationship or sex again, which is also fine.

We don’t need to always have a plan or put labels on things.
Just take things day by day.

Usually when people try to convince you they're happy its because deep down they're not.

I’m circa 40 and still keen. Not as often but definitely still have the urge.

If something were to happen to my DH I’d probably want a lover but not a live-in DH, I’m happy in my own space.

You sound quite similar to my friend who I suspect is asexual, sadly for her and her DH she is married. She has always said she would be quite happy to never have sex again.

I’ve not had sex in 4 years. I think my husband will leave me soon. I’ve never liked sex unless we were making a baby and now after menopause I am dead from the waist down. I find sex an intrusive, aggressive act by males yuk. I’d be really happy if I never had to have sex ever again, it turns my stomach just the thought of the act. I know I’m strange but menopause has caused this because if I’m not making babies then what’s the point? I don't need a man me to feel validated. It’s gross!

I’m not trying to convince anyone I’m happy. I’ve been single for 14 years and don’t even think about men or sex. I’d never say never but I’m happy as I am.

Bloody good for you 👍

I forgot to say…menopause has made me so fat and ugly that I’d rather die than let a man (or anyone!) see me naked. Maybe I’d feel different if I weren’t so fat and ugly 🥲

How do you get that from that?!?! We are all sharing our different experiences.

I used to enjoy sex very much and have had a lot of it.

I went off it aged about fifty. Am now sixty, and will be very happy to never bother with men/sex ever again.

53, cancer, chemo and menopause killed off any sex drive.

I had a horrendous time with meno. HRT has been life saving.

I’m 51 and feel the same. After my initial post I thought about it and can remember I enjoyed sex in my 30’s but I was a heavy weed smoker then and that is the most intense aphrodisiac! Even in my 20’s I never fully liked it as was obsessed with my fat disgusting body (I weighed 8 stone ffs!! But eating disorders don’t see the truth) but yeh, menopause just kills everything sadly. I feel sad for my husband who really misses intimacy but we are so close in other ways, best friends I suppose but is that really healthy in a marriage?

I was 42. Now 45, happier than ever, without exaggeration.

I'm 43 and I think I'm done with relationships now. I've always had a very high sex drive but I'm not interested at the moment.

Around 47. Not interested in being with a man. Might consider a FWB if he was SNY Goid. But that’s it. I’ve given up on men, they are a huge disappointment and a huge waste of time

I love sex but that's part due to my partner being incredibly kind, respectful, generous and always putting me first.

I went off it late 40s but finding out my H had an emotional affair 10 years previous and made an idiot of me, plus he had a chronic secretive daily porn habit in early 50s killed it off totally - so he created a viscious circle, too much porn because I don’t want sex, and I don’t want sex at all as I find constant porn watching totally gave me the ick - still married but housemates it is.

I’ve never liked sex and think I might be asexual, I’ve never had an orgasm or a pleasurable sexual experience. I forced myself to sleep with men in my late teens and twenties thinking if I did it enough I would come to like it, but after I was raped 10 years ago I couldn’t bear the thought of being intimate with a man and eventually realised I wouldn’t sleep with a man ever again. I’m 40 and have been around 10 years celibate now. I am single and childless and do feel sad sometimes I am missing the love and human connection most people get to experience having a family but I know from past experience I would be unhappy in a relationship where I had to fake orgasms and pretend to enjoy sex to keep the man happy. I’m happier alone than living that kind of life.

What age were you when you realised you never wanted to be touched by a man again

I’m 93 and I’ll let you know when it happens.

I would say I got to this stage by about 45. I pushed through it for 2 or 3 more years because I was in a relationship but eventually I had to come clean with myself about it.

I still have a libido and have, in my time, had mind blowing sex. But it's exactly that. The mind blowing aspect of sex that I don't want. I don't want to be so driven by sex that I am not focused totally on real life. I don't want to be like the blokes we all laugh at, so driven by their cocks that they're idiots. And there were times I was a bit like that. It was horrible.

Love and sex can be a bit of an obsession. It's called falling in love, or being madly in love for a reason. Falls are never good, neither is madness.

I LOVE the clarity of life without it. My head is clear.

For a few years now.

I am 52 and with the combination of dreadful perimenopause symptoms and daily stress from caring for a parent with advanced dementia which has exacerbated some chronic health issues I feel right now that I would be happy never to have sex again. Not done it for over a year and do not miss it at all although I do feel for my dh as I know he would quite like it from time to time.

I am hoping it may reverse itself once the stress from caring for my parents ends and I find a better way to manage my peri/menopause and health issues but tbh, if it doesn't it won't be something I will grieve over and I have already told dh that if he were to leave me I have no plans on ever living with or even dating another man.

everyone has different things in life that make them happy. society tells everyone they MUST have sex but it's just not the case for every single person out there.