Never having sex again

[user043857398]

What age were you when you realised you never wanted to be touched by a man again and saw absolutely no value in a man choosing to be with you long-term?

I'm probably quite young to have come to this conclusion and the knowledge that I'll never have a romantic connection again fills me with joy.

Friends, my children, my home, my future all take my headspace up and it's such a beautiful contrast to spending my youth chasing men and hoping they would 'choose me'. It must all have been due to societal programming. I look back and realise I was always happier when I was single and not interested in someone romantically.

How you’re feeling is totally correct OP. Romantic love is a con. That’s why Disney groomed us all with the little mermaid etc.

WTAF is this pseudopoetic nonsense word salad?

Men! hahaaaa

Frigid is a term made up by men to demean women into having sex.

Thank fuck I’m passed all that shite.

I’m sorry, but, what?

Then yes you are probably asexual

37 Im 45 and haven’t had sex for 11 years!

He’ll tell you he’s happy - but he probably isn’t if he still has a sex drive.

Yes. There is a lot of helpful discourse around this too and I'm glad that my girls will grow up with less of that programming. I feel I was duped into assuming I needed it. Honestly the level up I've done since realising I don't want romance is insane. Financially, career-wise, vision-wise, it feels like I've become super human.

I know what love feels like and that initial rush when you find it is really something. I'm glad I experienced it a few times I suppose. But it always always faded and each breakup, even from the good relationships, was a relief.

I'm just not that into it.

I disagree with those who think there is something wrong, bad luck, or not having met the right (or even adequate) person. No one should feel sex is an obligation or human right in any way.

Those enjoying or wanting to enjoy sex, good for you. Likewise those who do not.

I don't know the answer... I desperately wanted relationships, and loved and was attracted to particular men, and wanted sex - and it seems reasonable to think there is a biological/instinctive element to that. But I think I also was subject to the societal pressures that make you think a relationship is what will make you happy or what you "should" do - and I think I put up with a ton of crap from men that I wouldn't put up with now, under the delusion that we just had to get the relationship "right" somehow and happiness would be forthcoming.

For most of history (and still in some places) getting married and having kids was not just what women "should" do and expected, but the only option for a lot of women to survive - that or entering a nunnery or being shunned by society, unless you were independently wealthy. Men could have access to sex, housework and childcare by society making it harder for women to have other options, harder for them to leave, etc.

Now we do have other options, selling the romantic dream to girls from early childhood has to do more heavy lifting.

Yes, unfortunately I have had specialist intervention for a few years now. Nothing seems to help long term. I am considering trying Hiprex, as it is one of the few things I've not tried.

Dh and I are 64 , we had a couple of years where not much happened , but things are back on track so twice a week is not unusual .
No-one should judge you because you no longer want to , but I can see if you have a partner it would be problematic for them .

I'm glad I had the wild times when I was younger. Once the hormones stop driving you to reproduce, sex seems a bit absurd really, like biting each other's ankles! I still enjoy it, but have to sort of trick myself into the mindset (not becuase of anything lacking in my lovely DH).

@WhatterySquash you are on my wavelength here. I wonder if I'm in the last generation of women who do have this feeling of obligation to romance and partnership. That's why I muse often how much of my man chasing and centreing of romantic relationships was me and how much was just subconscious assumption.
I also wonder how our future generations will be. I'm modeling a life of single motherhood by choice to my children but realise they could well be romantically inclined. But like with other things in society I don't think they will grow up, from me or from society in general, with the assumption that a romantic partnership is a necessity.

OMG yes. The idea of doing that with someone seems silly in a way. I absolutely adore being a mum. Was that what it was all always about?! I am glad I experienced it though, wonderful times were had that's for sure.

Erm, probably during sex education at school, because it sounded so disgusting and, quite frankly, unhygienic 😂

I assumed, when people were getting boyfriends/girlfriends at 13/14/15, that perhaps I was just a late bloomer. Then I realised that I just felt dead inside, and wondered if that fell into the category of 'asexuality'. Fortunately, it did, and I'm happy with being permanently and cheerfully single (though it does make having children considerably more difficult). This does not stop other people from feeling sorry for me for being single, though!

I find it a massive stress reliever and balances out my life which is quite difficult in other areas (work, single parenting, difficult sibling between kids).

However it's with a new(ish) partner post divorce who I don't live with. Had I stayed married I would have thought I never wanted it again but turns out it was just the wrong person.

Do you/did you not enjoy orgasms?

I'm forty and as horny as ever.

Mid 20s, lol, but I think I'm kind of asexual.

Well I’m 40 and I wouldn’t be fussed if I never had sex with my partner again as our relationship has been pretty much dead for years (I know it’s wrong and I’m biding my time).

However I know in my heart I’d love to have sex in the future which might be my 50s and 60s when we will have split up.

I’m sick of domestic life and shit relationships but I still get crushes on men and think about sex. I would never ever act on these- I probably wouldn’t even if I was single, but I do hope this is not it for me.

I can totally understand why many women have had enough though.
In my experience most men are poor to mediocre at sex, you might get an occasional great one but it’s not worth pursuing for all the shit and heartache really.

Enjoy your freedom.

Mine stopped youngish because of DH's difficulties. At first I hoped it was a temporary situation, and then I had to consider whether to stay. I did, and as time passed and I reflected on sex I realised that what I liked most was the closeness, which we have, but I was not actually keen on most aspects of sex. I was chatting with a friend recently and she was wondering if she would remarry if her DH died (he's not ill, just the usual wondering), and I realised I would hate having to date again for this very reason.

I was 41. So happily single.

I’m 36 and haven’t had sex in 10 years (not through Choice) I do miss it and hope to never get to this stage!

Same