Never having sex again

[user043857398]

What age were you when you realised you never wanted to be touched by a man again and saw absolutely no value in a man choosing to be with you long-term?

I'm probably quite young to have come to this conclusion and the knowledge that I'll never have a romantic connection again fills me with joy.

Friends, my children, my home, my future all take my headspace up and it's such a beautiful contrast to spending my youth chasing men and hoping they would 'choose me'. It must all have been due to societal programming. I look back and realise I was always happier when I was single and not interested in someone romantically.

Its an expectation in this day and age that the man you live with will share responsibilities, housework and childcare

I don’t know any women that have married men are complete oafs to start with

Why? Why would sex with a casual friend be rubbish?

Google “Orgasm Gap”.

Why would it be good? I can’t think of anything worse.

If a woman can have an orgasm with a man she is in a relationship with, why would it be less likely during a sexual encounter with a man she is not in a relationship with?

Google “Orgasm Gap”.

I don't understand. Sex is sex. If sex in a relationship is good, then why would it be bad outside of a relationship? This doesn't make sense.

It's like saying you enjoyed eating Mars bars if you're at a train station, but not if you're at a bus stop. It's the same Mars bar.

Because there’s no love? Or trust?

Sex isn’t just about an itch to scratch.

You don’t seem to understand people are different.

I’ve never done casual sex. I find the thought horrible. Why should l share myself with someone who just wants a hole to empty himself into?

l need someone who l can trust to form a sexual relationship with, not a fling.

It’s immaterial anyway. No interest now.

Can you not feel love for friends or acquaintances? Can you not trust a friend that you know?

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow Why should l share myself with someone who just wants a hole to empty himself into?

The whole idea is that you're supposed to enjoy it too. The overwhelming majority of men don't enjoy sex if they think the woman is not enjoying it.

No!

I wouldn’t even go there. Just leads to too many misunderstandings. Why would l shag a friend?

But l wouldn’t ever enjoy casual sex.

So that’s how l regard it.

How do you know that you don't know anybody who feels like this in real life?
You might do, but they either don't mention it or lie about because it's not socially acceptable.

As far as romantic love having anything to do with sex, I don't believe you don't know any women who do think the two are connected.

Why anything with sexuality? Why do some people only orgasm with men, or with women? Why do some people really like BDSM while others like it vanilla?

It's quite common for people to only enjoy sex, with someone they are in a relationship with, and for whom they have romantic feelings for. As to why this in particular, is a question for the philosophers...

"I've always only ever enjoyed sex when it comes with love. "

Demi-sexual although I think it includes any kind of romantic connection and doesn't have to be 'in love'. I think it's so common among women that it shouldn't have a particular label.

Mars bars have a consistent ingredients list, recipe and taste. To compare this to sexual activity which varies wildly is incredibly stupid.

I thought Demi sexual meant people only feel attraction when they know someone.

I can feel very attracted to someone who l’ve just met. Wouldn’t want to sleep with them though until l knew them better.

So you don’t enjoy sex with your partner because you love him, just because you enjoy sex?

How bleak and empty is that?

Eh? Is sex is always exactly the same for you, no matter the context or the partner?

It has been very different, but I don't believe any of that was related to being in a relationship or not being in a relationship. I have never been in a relationship though, so strictly speaking I have no basis for comparison, but I don't see how the "relationship" aspect per se makes it better or worse.

How can you not see this basic thing?

What basic thing?

have you been on the dating apps lately?

this site is full of women being cheated on, abused or just low key treated like a drudge.

In real life, even the men who start out the most devoted end up being awful after marriage.

this is what I mean about being groomed by Disney. Most men aren’t chivalrous princes in my experience. Is sex with the hottest ones worth all the downsides? Not sure it is any more. Maybe in my 20s it was fun. Now I just want to play with my cats.

I also find the prevailing revulsion at all things sexual on MN to be quite peculiar.

I'm assuming asexuality is far more common than it's generally thought, given the number of women who say they've never enjoyed sex.

Or a lot of women have just never experienced a good sexual partner (very plausible, given the proportion of men who are good at it). Because the ones who say they used to have a sex drive but are relieved that it's gone are the most baffling to me. Sex has generally given, and continues to give, me enough pleasure that if I stopped wanting it I'd be quite unhappy, and a bit alarmed. It would be like suddenly losing my sense of taste, or suddenly getting no pleasure from music.