Never having sex again

[user043857398]

What age were you when you realised you never wanted to be touched by a man again and saw absolutely no value in a man choosing to be with you long-term?

I'm probably quite young to have come to this conclusion and the knowledge that I'll never have a romantic connection again fills me with joy.

Friends, my children, my home, my future all take my headspace up and it's such a beautiful contrast to spending my youth chasing men and hoping they would 'choose me'. It must all have been due to societal programming. I look back and realise I was always happier when I was single and not interested in someone romantically.

I love this @Fishingboatbobbingnight enjoy

There are loads of good men out there.

Why not just raise your standards when looking for a partner?

But they aren’t. There isn’t loads of good men out there.

You need to raise yours if that’s what you think.

Haha loads of good men out there - right all these moany woman with their high expectations

It is that woman have raised their expectations so many are now realising what generations of woman before us put up with because there were so few options open to them

That's what has changed

I am fine being single and have zero desire to actively date to try and change that. My genetic programming is clearly broken.

It sounds awful. Years of making myself have painful, unwanted sex in return for financial support.

Ooof.

Says who? Why is it a bad sign? It literally harms nobody.

More a case of them being happy to marry a complete oaf and then spend their lives complaining about them?

Do people not discuss things like the sharing of housework and childcare before moving in together?

Sounds like she has raised her standards. Which is why she is single.

52 here and not had sex (been single, not dating or in a relationship) since I was 41.

It wasn't really a plan it's just the way life worked out and I have been very busy with other things.

Life has gotten quieter and more time for myself now and I am working on my health with a view to giving relationships another go.

For the most part I haven't really missed it but like I said I have been very busy and not really in a 'sex place' if that makes sense.

Now I have more rest and the future looks brighter I do feel my sex drive coming back. Still having fairly regular periods so guessing I am in perimenopause just now as my cycle has started to get a bit shorter.

So yes I am hopeful now after a pretty hard working, difficult at times 11 years that the next 10 will be filled with love, sex, romance and socialising. Luckily I no longer have to work and so I plan on making up for lost time.

Course mother nature might just decide to kill of my sex drive in the next 12 months but even so I would still like to meet someone just for company, cuddles, affection and yes I always enjoyed nice sex with past partners espcially the ones that were good at oral. So I Know I will still find some enjoyment in it even if my drive dips again.

Obviously facing an ageing face and body now but in a weird way I'm actually more accepting of it and fully expect any guy to be the same although I no doubt will still have some worries.

I feel sad if I think there will be no more cuddles and handholding, love and sex so I'm not done yet.

Course it all depends on finding someone I can see myself doing all that with and I've no idea how easy that will be.

I'm gonna try though. I'm also looking forward to being 60 or 65 plus (whenever it happens) and having no sex drive. This is the point I will get lots of pets and eat icecream and whatever I fancy all day long will watching Colin Firth in Pride and Predjudice another 100 times.

I'm mid 50's and felt the same when my marriage ended 10 years ago.

However, since meeting DP I can't imagine ever not wanting it!

I went through a phase after having kids (probably from about 35) where I had no libido at all. It came back with a vengeance at about 43. I'm 47 now and it's better than when I was in my 20s.

I think a healthy human body tends to have a sex drive. If you don't have one, especially if you used to, I think it's a sign something is wrong.

Also having a healthy sex drive is important for keeping blood flowing to the areas that tend to atrophy with age if you neglect them.

Don't get me wrong there are plenty of other things to do with your time I just personally worry if I don't feel sexual in any way. It's just part of having a human body.

Who says a healthy human body has a sex drive? According to whom?

This kind of nonsense is why people with low / no sex drives feel the need to pathologise themselves.

The part about a sex drive being necessary for blood flow to certain areas sounds like Pseudoscience.

A lack of sex drive is no worse than a high one.

at 40 I feel the exact same! after I left my ex 4 years ago. I have had zero desire to want or be wanted by someone! I've been asked out and I literally cannot be arsed! the endless talking, explaining, effort etc. nope. I'm good! and good for you!

Now at 27.. no thank you!

Er... According to medical science. If you have a healthy balance of neurotransmitters and hormones you should feel sexual impulses sometimes.

A week ago I would have said I was firmly on the no sex and happy with it side of things.

I lost my libido after having our kids and though we sporadically had sex after a while I stopped. It wasn’t helped by DP saying he’d have a vasectomy then backtracking and I didn’t want to take the pill or use a coil. I didn’t miss the sex though, it was a bit of a relief though I did feel a bit sad for DP. I would occasionally casually joke about it but he seemed to be fine with the situation. So it’s been a bit of a desert in our house, probably for 12+/- years. DP was also put on meds that affected his libido too.

However, we’ve had our first week away without our (now adult) kids. DP made overtures and we had very imperfect but very enjoyable sex. We’ve talked about it and will try to maintain this going forward. It’s been a rather lovely development.

Had it not happened I think we’d have just carried on as a partnership, neither of us can imagine life without the other.

I think this is shite. Bet it’s written by men.

On here it seems peri/meno cause a serious dip as do small children. Did they talk to people in these demographics?

I’m living close to a female relative who is experiencing mild cognitive decline, and suddenly wants to talk to me loudly and in great detail about her sexual fantasies when we go out for a stroll and a cuppa.

So let this be a warning to us all - years of peaceful menopausal celibacy don’t rule out the possibility of becoming a semi-senile uber-cougar at 85. 😬

It ain’t over till it’s over!

I think women take a really unfair burden of drudge in this life and that certainly won't help (it won't help any aspect of health).

I think women take a really unfair burden of drudge in this life and that certainly won't help (it won't help any aspect of health).

😂 Oh God I really hope I don't go this way

Middle aged, too much else on at present to think about that! I would like companionship eventually however

Source: “Dude - Trust Me”.