DH always calls me an idiot

[Lovingfromadistance]

I have ADHD so I’m very clumsy and all over the place but always try my best. I was cleaning the bathroom and spilt some water and he kept calling me an idiot. I asked him to stop and he carried on then called me a fool! I absolutely lost it and chucked the mop at him. It was me that was going to clean it up anyway so I can’t understand why he was being so nasty.

I appreciate I do a lot of silly things most days but it absolutely hurts and makes me feel incapable.

He’s now switched it round on me calling me aggressive 😭

AIBU?

No, you aren’t. He sounds awful. In 36 years, my husband has never called me names, it’s not a normal thing to do to someone you’re supposed to love.

He won’t even apologies he just says it’s banter but it absolutely hurts me.

He’s an arsehole. Why are you with him?

Call him a wanker 😊

I have ADHD too and mine would do this. He once called me a retard because I couldn’t find the tea towel (it’s right there you retard!) He also called me an imbecile, idiot, stupid women etc. We are now separated.

'Banter' always seems to be the excuse for being cruel and hurtful. I can't imagine my DH calling me an idiot or fool if I was clumsy/dropped something etc - he'd probably rush to see if I was ok! It's not normal in a loving relationship to call your partner names. You are not being unreasonable and you shouldn't have to put up with it.

I have autism and adhd and remember my (ex) partner winding me up to the point I threw something at him,.
Do you know of RSD? It’s often hand in hand, I’d suggest reading about it, it might explain somethings to you about how you get overwhelmed with criticism xxx