To think most men are filthy losers

[fightbackorriseabove]

I'm going through the menopause, so have a low libido at the moment, which might explain my disgust. I don't know. I didn't use to be a prude, but I'm feeling more and more annoyed these days by men and their general behaviour.

I have a few male friends who, to varying degrees, always manage to slip in an innuendo or even an outright sexual remark. And out of politeness, or not wanting to cause a scene, I smile or roll my eyes in jest. I can only think of one occasion when I told a bloke to stop, and he REALLY took the hump. This was a married man who pursued me, but then said he was just joking and that I took myself too seriously. In fact, he got very angry.

I have lots of personal issues at the moment. Mad stuff. One of these issues lead to me googling my ex.

Well, the filth I found was disturbing. Men, thousands of them, masturbating online. I can only think they're doing it in front of each other. Becsuse there can't be many women wanting to sit and watch them. Surely? My ex was one of them.

I'm not talking about Only Fans where people pay. I'm talking about sex webcam stuff where men seem to just be filming themselves wanking. And watching each other. I don't even think it's gay. These are heterosexual men doing it for free. All ages.

Maybe I'm naïve.

But it's been a real eye opener for me.

I always knew men watched porn. But sitting there filming themselves and watching each other. It's madness.

I really do think that we, as women, spend our time worrying, working, caring, thinking, planning... and men just do the stuff thry have to do and then go back to messing with themselves or pestering women. Including their wives. And they keep having to up the limit because they can't get excited uness it's something really vile.

How many of us have felt obliged to have sex with a man, a partner, to avoid his anger, sulking, grumpiness. We've chosen sex as the lesser of two evils when we didn't want it.

It's not a human right, is it? They need to calm the fuck down.

Maybe I'm being unreasonable and grumpy, but I just think most of them ming.

I met my lovely DH via online dating 25 years ago, but can't imagine doing so nowadays, sadly.

You have every right to be angry but all people can be horrible in different ways and to different extents. I hope you can process all you feel and find the words to articulate to your daughter without scaring her.

@Muffinmam please leave your life is worth so much more than this.💕

I want you to find peace and leave him as soon as you can. I am so sorry you're having to put up with this. Is there someone you can talk to? I think you should start planning your exit. I think you can do it. I really do. Go and sit on your own staircase somewhere. Or in your own lounge. Imagine that. It can be done. You can do it. Start taking steps to free yourself.

I’m torn really, although the thread title did make me laugh.

I can honestly say I don’t think I’ve ever had sex with a man just to shut him up. But then I probably had a very high sex drive throughout my 20s and my dh, I don’t think he has a very high sex drive. He seems quite happy with once a week, we are in our 40s. Not sure what’s normal, I’d probably like to have it a bit more at times. I can’t say he’s ever pestered me for sex. It’s usually me making innuendos, perhaps I am the pest?

Touch wood I don’t get men bothering me, think I’m pretty invisible now.

However, when I was younger I got a lot of sexual harassment from men so based on that I’d say that there are a lot of creepy men out there.

Something very trivial, but today a man (middle aged, overweight) was walking opposite me on the pavement when I was jogging uphill, out of breath. He would've walked on top of me if I hadn’t moved to the side. He had plenty of space and time to move but didn’t. And he looked annoyed when I made him way.
It’s just intimidating.

'Most men are filthy losers'

You had me at the title - looking forward to this thread 😄🥰

My thoughts as well

Ha ha! I know. I made myself laugh when I read it back. I can't remember thinking too much about the title. I was on one. But I was right!

There's one writing to me just now as I speak. On FB. I'm telling him all about my day at a charity event yesterday. Let's see how long he sticks around. I bet he doesn't even reply. I've made it all sound far too wholesome. I've also told him I've joined a feminist circle in the local town. That should see him off.

Yes, I have wondered that. Thanks for pointing it out. It could, of course, be me. I probably did something to deserve being stalked for three years.

That’s really unkind.

YANBU OP. Sad to see all the replies trying to guilt trip you for feeling that way. I wonder if they are men or just very male-centric women.

Why don't you just form a women's only island, OP?

You've had a lot of bad experiences OP but many men are not like this at all. Perhaps you know some of them but don't notice that they behave well because you are tuned in to the sleazy ones?

Don't think many posts are trying to guilt trip her, however these kind of post are so depressing and indicative of this site,'most' men are not like this, she clearly is commenting from her own perspective which seems to include harassment, but trying to label most men is not helpful.

YABU to think that about most men. It’s the opposite of my entire life experience.

I think I have had bad experiences, yes. I don't go for sleazy men, though. I'm not "into" bad boys. I go for men who seem bright, motivated, kind, funny, and who align with me in terms of politics/ethics. I can accept that I may not have been lucky.

I don't accept what Nostylequeen said. I know who I am. And I think I'm decent enough. But this is an open forum, so I've to expect it.

My grandfather was an excellent man. And I have three excellent male friends who are lovely, lovely people. It's not all bad out there. I know that.

I am 65 and made a fb friend with a man who sends money for real to an African orphanage. He is a preacher in the USA.Then I was given his instagram and was horrified. Soft porn, young girls with just baby face and big boobs, almost showing everything....it is vile. But then they always have scandals in the church world.I am so disgusted

It's depressing that MNHQ don't see a problem with so much blatant bigotry.

There are over 4 billion men in the world and yet the bigots think most of them are filthy losers.

I expect they spend the rest of their spare time waving placards outside hotels, lest their prejudice be confined to only half the world's population 🙄

What makes porn so successful if it’s not most men?

I am too old and don't know many things but for once, I am going to agree with the English woman. Yes, men are like that. When my daughters dated, I visited once in her London apartment and her boyfriend's brother came , a short, podgy, looking like nothing man. Single. Had only one relationship in his life. Saw my wonderful daughter and started getting jealous and suddenly started showing his brother some girls on his phone topless, mentioning it is his work, bla bla....Talking about what is proper girl, just over 16 with big boobs. He was saying this in front me, my future son in law and my daughter.

I gave him the biggest verbal shitstorm a gran can give and threw him out. My in laws - their mother can't stand me to this day because of this. They are shitty, little vile jealous people who the more they can't have a real woman, the more boast shit

Hmm, this thread defo wouldn't still be up if you replaced the word 'men' with literally any other protected characteristic.

To think most people of colour are filthy losers

To think most Muslims are filthy losers

To think most working class people are filthy losers

YANBU…

In my friend group we have had the following situations over the past ten years…

Friend A - thought her DH was having an affair so looked in his brief case one night. It was full of porn dvds. He was also having an affair and they split up.

Friend B - She found out he was sharing what she thought were private sex videos of her online and getting paid for them. He convinced her he had been hacked and they’re still together.

Friend C - bought a new iPhone after being on android for years and signed in to the family Apple ID they’d set up. Ended up seeing tons of messages including photos and videos between him and another woman. Split up.

Friend D - works in family business with her DH (only those two work there with one other female assistant) Was cleaning the office loo and found sticky porn mags hidden behind a cupboard.

Friend E - Split with her husband after admitting that he had been coercing her into sex for years every time he’d been drinking.

Acquaintance F - her DH has had numerous affairs inc when she was pregnant. Plays at being Mr happy family man all week but goes out taking coke every weekend and messing around with anyone who’ll have him (he’s a work colleague and I’ve seen him in action)

These are all outwardly respectable, professional men with families. They don’t have “I’m a mucky little weasel” stamped on their forehead.