To think most men are filthy losers

[fightbackorriseabove]

I'm going through the menopause, so have a low libido at the moment, which might explain my disgust. I don't know. I didn't use to be a prude, but I'm feeling more and more annoyed these days by men and their general behaviour.

I have a few male friends who, to varying degrees, always manage to slip in an innuendo or even an outright sexual remark. And out of politeness, or not wanting to cause a scene, I smile or roll my eyes in jest. I can only think of one occasion when I told a bloke to stop, and he REALLY took the hump. This was a married man who pursued me, but then said he was just joking and that I took myself too seriously. In fact, he got very angry.

I have lots of personal issues at the moment. Mad stuff. One of these issues lead to me googling my ex.

Well, the filth I found was disturbing. Men, thousands of them, masturbating online. I can only think they're doing it in front of each other. Becsuse there can't be many women wanting to sit and watch them. Surely? My ex was one of them.

I'm not talking about Only Fans where people pay. I'm talking about sex webcam stuff where men seem to just be filming themselves wanking. And watching each other. I don't even think it's gay. These are heterosexual men doing it for free. All ages.

Maybe I'm naïve.

But it's been a real eye opener for me.

I always knew men watched porn. But sitting there filming themselves and watching each other. It's madness.

I really do think that we, as women, spend our time worrying, working, caring, thinking, planning... and men just do the stuff thry have to do and then go back to messing with themselves or pestering women. Including their wives. And they keep having to up the limit because they can't get excited uness it's something really vile.

How many of us have felt obliged to have sex with a man, a partner, to avoid his anger, sulking, grumpiness. We've chosen sex as the lesser of two evils when we didn't want it.

It's not a human right, is it? They need to calm the fuck down.

Maybe I'm being unreasonable and grumpy, but I just think most of them ming.

I completely empathise with your feelings towards men. For me it’s the continuing stories of perverted men hurting women and girls. Some of it is just so disturbing that the only suitable punishment would be the death penalty. Slowly.

The thing is, I don't want to have to teach my DD about all this. But I know I'm going to have to. I'm just very angry. I know some good men. But I can count them on one hand. Even those who aren't raping, beating women up, cheating, trafficking, torturing... Just your average Joe is probably doing something he wouldn't want anyone to find out about. They're grim. They really are. And they think nothing of us. And most of us put up with it in some form or other.

You Googled your ex and one of the first things that came up was him wanking on a webcam?

I hear you OP, am rarely impressed by a man, constantly impressed by fortitude of women, am horrified at male to female violence, it’s everywhere, if it were the other way round and men were being killed in such numbers by a female partner there’d be a national outcry but domestic violence male to female carries on with no urgency to be addressed, so bloody depressing

I agree with u I mean I don’t think every single man is doing this, but hey the stories u read does anyone realllllllly know for sure? I think the internet has made us an age of on one hand an open, free world do whatever the fuck u want no one cares and the other hand is a dark evil world where dirty paedos and other perverts get to do what they want to kids and animals and the internet is making it all acceptable to everyone is a dark part of their brain. Sec has become a complete commodity where men just need to name their game and they will find other men and woman who are into the same shit as them, no matter how perverted they will find someone the same online who then makes them think they are normal. I fucking hate porn but I get how some people love it, it I fear the dark side is getting more and more dark. And men are the majority.

YANBU. It sickens me, what some men are capable of and it’s not rare or isolated.

Yes, unfortunately I learnt the hard way. I am divorced and would love a partner to enjoy sex with, I’m not looking for anything overly serious. I spent some time online dating and all I got was men talking about sex, asking for photos etc after a couple of messages. I wouldn’t talk about sex with someone that I had met in real life after 10 minutes and I wouldn’t do that online either! I would only ever sleep with someone that I genuinely liked. Because online porn is there 24/7, a lot of men seem to think that women think as they do, (I) they don’t! Not really sure what to do about this other than enjoy being single.

Well, not his name. A username he goes by. It's him. He's not showing his face. Many of them do, though. I only looked once. But I screenshotted it.

I'm alone now and have been for 10 years. I'm peri and would be quite happy if I never had sex again. Who knows I might change my mind in the future.

Maybe I don't feel as strongly as you do but I feel it's a getting older thing. I'm 40's and find most men the same age are nothing to look at, don't look after themselves, many have a massive beer belly. Their female counterparts look miles better, more refined and well groomed.

I know there may be some who are grey foxes, but many aren't. In many ways I'm glad to be alone. I don't want to be a care giver to some man, let alone sleep with.

A man bashing thread on mumsnet, how original

Oh, yeah! Online dating. They're all so direct. Maybe some women give them what they want. Or they chat to fake profiles with men behind them.

They need to learn that if everything goes well, they will probably end up getting a shag. They don't have to talk about it. It's so off-putting. Let's talk about our interests, passions, jobs.... whatever! But leave the sexting out.

When I think about my exes and flings... they were all big sulky babies when they didn't get it. I think they believe it is their right.

You have a vile ex No of course you can’t tar all men with the same brush. How would you feel if all women were slandered because of one?

You need to raise your standards op!

Men are far too highly sexed. The world would be an altogether better place if their sex drives were less high. They need to invent some kind of bromide to put in the water supply that only affects male libidos with no side effects llol 😂

If men spent as much time doing housework or whatever instead of jerking off / shagging people, many relationships would be significantly better…..

The level of vitriol towards men is off the scale!

I’ve never encountered any men like the op and those agreeing with her have.

A really vile one, yes. Obviously, there are some good men. I'm saying most of them are filthy. Not all. Most. I really do believe it's most of them.

They're disgusting and only get more so the older they get.

🙄

Why?

It's at least the 3rd one since yesterday.

It's like an invasion of bigots.

You could interpret it as 'man-bashing'.
Or you could interpret it as some women being perplexed and disgusted by how highly-sexed most (nearly all?) men are.

Some women just don't realise the effects of testosterone, and can't understand why men can't just behave more like women.

Men are a different sex, very different biologically, very unlike women, and many women do find their sexualised behaviour off-putting at best and down-right foul, filthy, perverted and utterly disgusting at worst.

Nope definitely a minority in my personal experience but also men are more blatant in their ogling, doesn’t mean women don’t do it though.

We do discuss these things within my friendship group and what we found was half of us felt like you and the other half were the opposite. Interestingly the ones who agreed with you also had a very low libido whereas the rest of us didn’t experience it as although we had a high libido we also had more confidence in telling men to get lost if not interested.

If someone made a leud comment to me that I didn’t appreciate I’d have no issue telling them that. Not sure I could fake a smile any more than I can fake an orgasm 🤦🏼‍♀️

I screenshotted it as evidence. There's an upcoming court case for harassment. Or at least, I hope there will be. On this sex site, he wrote how he was looking for fat, blonde, mature women. That's what I am. So, I've been gathering evidence. When I told my lawyer about it, she ignored it. So, there's a good chance it's of no use at all. I have plenty of other stuff, though. Anyway, I don't want to get into all that. The man is awful on every level.

I think women are very lucky if they've never encountered a porn-addicted man.

Also, my standards have always been fairly high. I think. My exes have been professional - teachers, lecturers, business execs - upstanding citizen types. But they've all sulked if sex was off the table for whatever reason. A few of them have been into weird stuff. Some of them have come back to me to try it on when they're in new relationships. The men on online dating sites are awful. I've only ever actually met one of them. We ended up dating for a few months, but he was just so immature. 38 going on 17.

I wasn't trying to start an original thread. Hasn't everything already been done on Mumsnet? It's all much of a muchness. We just go through something and try to garner support from people online. That's all this is, isn't it?

And yes, I AM man-bashing. I really am. And I make no apologies for it. They need to sort themselves out.

I wrote out a long post and accidentally deleted it but basically YANBU. Most men are outwardly or privately filthy pervs and at worst, violent sex pests and offenders.

The world would be a much happier, calmer place if we kept a select few entire for breeding purposes and castrated the rest.

It's depressing. I'd like to think there are some good ones. If my DD is that way inclined, I hope she finds one. It just seems to me that the whole situation is getting worse. I know I'm not making any original comments here, but I felt the need to vent this evening. Out of the men I know, most would cheat, or have cheated, I reckon. I bet they're all regular porn users. More than one ex has wanted to hit me at some point. I've been lucky enough not to experience domestic violence, though. They've all lied to me - the men I've dated. All of them. I've been in two long-term relationships and several short-term relationships, and I've seen it all. I was with a man who went to a music festival the day my mum died and who I later found out had beaten his first wife. I was with one who used to go to those porn video shops and wank in a cubicle. I left him, for a different reason, and he financially abandoned me, leaving me with a house to pay for on my own. It took me years to track him down. I was stuck in a mortgage. I was with one who, when I finished with him, spent three years stalking me, and it still continues. It has been and still is the biggest problem I've ever had to face in my life. It's terrifying. I was with one who I finished with and who called me the week before he was going to get married to ask if I wanted to have sex. I was with one for six months who went all-in and love-bombed me before telling me I was too fat. I've been ghosted by men. One of my good friends gets drunk every now and again and calls me to tell me it should have always been me he was with. He's done this in BOTH of his marriages. To the mothers of his two children. I have a neighbour who told me he had feelings for me and when I didn't reciprocate, he screamed at me in the street the next day. SCREAMED. They're just the ones of the top of my head.